The Penguins of Madagascar

* *

Kowalski, progress report.

Nearing completion on escape tunnel number 15, Skipper.

Isn't this a bit overly cautious?

Even better.

It's full-blown paranoia.

No, I mean, we already have 14 escape tunnels.

Isn't that enough?

Manfredi and Johnson thought so,

what was left of them came home in a manila envelope.

From Manila, ironically.

There's no such thing as "too paranoid", Private.

Remember that.

And forget you ever heard it.

Um, I don't think that works the way you think it...

Eyes on the flippers.

Wow!

Man down!

Rico.

His brain appears to be functioning at, uh...

Hmm, let's call it normal capacity.

What happened?

I thought we mapped this tunnel.

I'm not sure.

This wall shouldn't be...

A vintage pass code lock.

Excellent work, Kowalski.

But can you open it?

Well, it is state of the art hyper encryption technology...

From 1963.

Nailed it.

Move in cautiously, men.

Rico, ominous background music.

Ah!

Rico!

All right, crackerjack, what's the code word?

Lucky guess, moonbeam.

That voice...

That steely gaze...

You sugar puffs just gonna stand there?

Spill your tater tots.

Where's the red squirrel?

The red squirrel.

Then you really are...

Special agent Buck Rotgut.

The Buck Rotgut?

Um, is that... is that someone famous, then?

Sweet ignorant Private,

Buck Rotgut is our greatest American penguin hero.

I've patterned my whole life after Rotgut.

The bird who brought down penguin enemy number one:

the red squirrel.

And may I say, it is an honor, sir.

86 the kiss-up, fauntleroy.

Let's get to brass tacks.

I caught the squirrel, all right,

But big red broke out,

Disappeared in the underground.

47 years I've been down in this bunker,

waiting for red squirrel to show his fluffy tail again.

47 years.

47 years?

47 years!

Don't you think the red squirrel would have shown up by now?

Private.

College boy, huh?

You see that bunker door?

It only opens when the red squirrel returns.

Is it open now, dough boy?

Yes.

Then red is back.

And you four lollipops are gonna help me find him.

I get to work with Buck Rotgut.

I know, right?

Okay, so the guy in the street,

He puts a little ball into one hat like this.

Then he mix, he mix it so fast

it's like you can't even see it.

Then stop.

And now you can't tell which is the ball hat, can you?

Oh.

Oh. Ah! Oh!

And now you give to me all of your money.

I love this game.

You sure you playing this right?

Where's the red squirrel?

Bring him up.

All right, pigeon, sing for me.

Uh...

* I don't know *

* where the red squirrel is *

* but this one time *

* I found a piece of red licorice *

I don't understand, Skipper.

Why would Mort know anything about the red squirrel?

You got to think like Buck Rotgut, Private.

Put your paranoia cap on.

I don't think I have a paranoia cap, Skipper.

Well, there's your problem.

You don't know anything about the red squirrel, huh?

That bushy tail of yours tells me different.

Know who else has a bushy tail?

The red squirrel!

Oh, it's true.

I do have a tail.

Sad eyes, a squirrel spy?

It's always the ones you least expect.

But... but...

Ah, there you are, Mort, you silly.

Come, I must show you my new street game.

Eh, who's the freak?

I confess to everything.

I took the last nut and nougat bar.

I cheat at whistling.

My father was not a talking water cycle.

This hardball stuff really works.

These snitches don't know anything.

They're just small potatoes.

He's right.

I am secretly a potato.

No... oh... okay, no, that one was a lie.

I just wanted to get the ropes off.

- Eh! - Ow!

Oh! Uh!

These walls are nothing.

There's not been the prison built

that can hold King Julian.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're locking that?

Never mind.

Am I the only one who thinks this is wrong?

Oh, it's very wrong, Private.

Who knew the red squirrel had so many agents Inside our own zoo?

I don't know what to believe anymore.

Dry those water works, egghead.

This roundup's just getting started.

You diaper dons ready to get your flippers dirty?

- Oh, absolutamente. - Yeah.

Not really.

Oh, all right.

Free peanuts.

You like peanuts, huh?

You know who else likes nuts?

The red squirrel!

Oh, dear.

Hey.

Oof.

Huh? What in the world?..

Ah!

You like pictures of red squirrels, huh?

You know who else likes red squirrels?

The red squirrel!

Ah! Gah!

I say.

Read any good books lately, punks?