Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco

MY NAME IS CHANCE. AND THIS, THIS IS HOME.

IT'S BEEN MY HOME FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS NOW.

I GOTTA ADMIT, THEY HAVE BEEN THE BEST TWO YEARS OF THIS DOG'S LIFE.

EXCEPT FOR ONE SLIGHTLY INCREDIBLE JOURNEY OVER THE MOUNTAINS.

BUT MAYBE YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT STORY.

LIKE I WAS SAYING, THEY TREAT US PRETTY GOOD HERE.

THREE SQUARE MEALS A DAY, A WARM PLACE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT...

AND ALL THE SMELLY SNEAKERS YOU CAN EAT.

BUT EVEN IN A PLACE LIKE THIS, SOMETIMES A DOG CAN GET A LITTLE RESTLESS.

AND EVERY NOW AND THEN, I WONDER IF MAYBE THERE ISN'T SOMETHING MORE OUT THERE.

WAIT, THERE IS SOMETHING OUT THERE. I CAN SMELL IT.

MOM, HAVE YOU SEEN MY SHOE ? DON'T PANIC, I'M GOING IN.

CHANCE, DID YOU STEAL MY SHOE ?

THAT'S JAMIE. HE'S THE ONE WHO RESCUED ME FROM THE BAD PLACE.

AND AS GOOD AS I'VE GOT IT AROUND HERE,

JAMIE IS WHAT MAKES IT HOME.

SO IT'S MY JOB TO PROTECT HIM.

ALL RIGHT, TRESPASSER, SAY YOUR PRAYERS.

YOU HAVE GOT A DATE WITH THE "CHANCENATOR."

I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TERMINATE YOU !

YEAH, YOU "BUTTER" FLY AWAY !

OKAY, THE CRISIS IS PAST, THE PERIMETER IS SECURE,

SITUATION IS NEUTRALIZED, YEP !

IT'S A THING OF BEAUTY WHEN CHANCE IS ON DUTY !

SPEAKING OF "DOODIE," I THOUGHT I SMELLED SOMETHING.

YUCK ! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM ? BAD FUR DAY ?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S BAD, OH FRAGRANT ONE. I SAW SUITCASES.

IT MEANS THE FAMILY IS LEAVING.

THOUGH WHO COULD BLAME THEM, THE WAY YOU SMELL !

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. TIME FOR KITTY SOCCER !

CHANCE MOVES THE FAT CAT DOWNFIELD ! GO ! GO ! GO ! NO, NO, NO ! OH, OH, OH !

HOPE ! JAMIE ! GET YOUR BAGS DOWNSTAIRS SO WE CAN LOAD UP THE CAR.

DID YOU HEAR THAT ? HE SAID "CAR." THEY'RE LEAVING.

YOU REALLY THINK THERE'S GONNA BE A TRIP ?

OH, WATCH YOUR STEP !

WHOA !

OH, MY, THAT LOOK IS YOU.

OH, MAN ! WHO SAYS COTTON BREATHES ?

SASSY !

I'M FINE, I'M FINE.

GET IT OFF ! GET IT OFF ! OH, MY POOR KITTY.

OH, CHANCE, TAKE IT OFF. TAKE IT ALL OFF.

HELP ME !

* NA-NA NA-NA-NA NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA-NA *

SO, CHANCE, DEAR,

DO YOU PREFER BOXERS OR BRIEFS ?

WILL YOU JUST GO GET DIPPED ? I GOTTA FIND JAMIE.

MY GOSH, SURE IS A LOT HAPPENING THIS MORNING.

WE'RE GOING TO CANADA, BOY. I'M TAKING YOU WITH US.

GO ? I'D GO ANYWHERE WITH YOU, PETER.

PETER, GRAB THOSE BAGS FOR ME, OKAY ? SURE, DAD, NO PROBLEM.

MMM.

WAIT, DON'T FORGET THIS.

I STILL THINK IT'S CRAZY TO FLY THREE ANIMALS HALFWAY ACROSS THE CONTINENT...

FOR SOME CAMPING TRIP.

WELL, IF WE'RE GOING, JUST LET ME USE THE LITTER BOX FIRST.

WHERE'S MY SHOE ?

I'LL MEET YOU AT THE FIELD LATER, STACEY.

JAMIE ! JAMIE BOY ! WHERE IS IT ?

I'M HERE. IT'S YOUR BEST BUDDY. LET'S HAVE A LITTLE FUN.

NO, I'M NOT UNDER THERE, I'M IN THE DOOR.

JAMIE, OVER HERE !

NO, I'M NOT IN THE CUPBOARD.

AND IT'S A GROUND BALL OUT TO LEFT FIELD, FIELDED NICELY--

OH, HEY, TASTY. GENUINE COWHIDE.

OH, MMM. AM I INTO LEATHER.

NO, CHANCE ! NOT MY BARRY BONDS AUTOGRAPHED BASEBALL.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?

I WAS WORKING ON MY SPITBALL !

IT'S KIND OF TOUGH TO PLAY WITH THE DOOR CLOSED, JAMIE.

JAMIE ! OH, MAN, YOU NEVER WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE.

HEY, WHAT'S THIS ?

I'M GETTING SOMETHING ON THE OLD NOSE RADAR.

THAT SMELLS LIKE SUGAR. OH, PLEASE BE SUGAR, BE SUGAR !

IT I SUGAR AND CHOCOLATE AND DOUGH, DEEP-FRIED IN BUBBLING FAT !

IT IS, IT'S DOUGHNUTS ! SWEET !

OH, THEY'LL NEVER GIVE ONE OF THESE BABIES OUT, UNLESS, OF COURSE, I LICK IT.

YUCK !

CHANCE, YOU'VE ALREADY HAD YOUR BREAKFAST.

TWICE, IN FACT. SO WHAT ?

YOU TELLING ME YOU NEVER HEARD OF A LITTLE THING CALLED BRUNCH, HUH ?

ADIOS, AMIGOS. OH, JAMIE'S LEAVING.

WELL, MA, LIKE YOU ALWAYS SAID: NEVER PLAY ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

WE'RE LEAVING IN 20 MINUTES. DON'T BE LATE, JAMIE.

HEY, NOT SO FAST ! I'M TRYING TO DIGEST !

WHERE ARE WE GOIN' ? NO, CHANCE !

STAY. STAY HOME.

STAY ? BUT I GOT THIS GREAT SUGAR RUSH GOING.

JAMIE, DON'T GO.

HEY, HEY, I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA PLAY. I DON'T GET IT.

DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG ?

HEY, THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE DOUGHNUT, IS IT ? I JUST TOOK ONE.

I-- I WAS WEAK. IT WAS TAUNTING ME.

GEEZ, TAKE A HINT ALREADY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TAKE A HINT ?

JAMIE'S GONNA SEND YOU BACK TO THE BAD PLACE. HA-HA !

I'LL MISS YOU. BYE-BYE.

WELL, I'M REALLY GONNA MISS YOU TOO ! BYE-BYE ! NO ! NO, DON'T !

OH, NO, NO ! I HATE THESE KINDS OF RIDES !

OH, I JUST ATE. I'M GONNA BLOW CHOW-CHOW EVERYWHERE !

GET ME OUT OF HERE ! I HATE THIS--

DOGS RULE AND CATS DROOL !

JAMIE, MY MAN, WAIT FOR ME.

OH, MY HEAD. OH, MY HEAD.

OH, I DON'T FEEL WELL. JUST WAIT UNTIL I SEE YOU AGAIN.

WHEREVER YOU ARE, I'M GOING TO-- JUST WAIT 'TIL I--

OH, I DON'T FEEL WELL. I AM GOING TO HURT YOU.

HERE YOU GO, INFIELD.

I GOT IT ! NO, I GOT IT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, THROW IT BACK HERE.

HI, STACEY ! HI, JAMIE.

OKAY, THIS IS GONNA BE FUN.

JAMIE. HEY, BUDDY, I'M HERE. YOU'RE IN LUCK.

I'M READY TO PLAY.

NO, GAME OVER, KIDS.

ME AND JAMIE GOT A PLAY DATE, SO YOU ALL ARE GONNA HAVE TO AMSCRAY.

A GROUNDER TO SEAVER, AND HE FLIPS IT TO FIRST FOR THE OUT.

HUH WHO ARE YOU GUYS ?

- I'M SPARKY MICHAELS. - I'M LUCKY LASORDA.

AND I'M TRIXIE UECKER, AND WE'RE BROADCASTING HERE.

YEAH, SO MOVE YOUR TAIL, BUDDY.

YOU'RE BROADCASTING THE GAME ?

HUH ! SASSY TELLS ME TO GET A LIFE ?

ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE PITCH. A HARD CHOPPER TO SEAVER.

HE PICKS IT UP AND FIRES TO FIRST.

BOY, THE KID LOOKS GREAT THIS YEAR.

HE MUST'VE BEEN PRACTICIN' THAT THROW IN THE OFF-SEASON.

YEP, AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE POOCH HE'S BEEN PRACTICIN' WITH.

THAT'S FASCINATING, REALLY. NOW GET YOUR TAIL OFF THE FIELD !

YOU TALKIN' TO ME ?

OKAY, I GUESS YOU ARE. OKAY, FINE.

HEY, LISTEN, I GOT NO PROBLEM. I'LL JUST GO SIT IN THE FRONT ROW.

YEP, IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME.

I'LL JUST LIE DOWN HERE AND HANG OUT...

AND WATCH THESE KIDS THROW THIS REALLY TASTY-LOOKIN' LEATHER BALL AROUND.

OH, BOY, THIS IS TORTURE.

ALL RIGHT, RIGHT FIELD !

I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. - FLY DEEP ! FLY DEEP !

I GOT IT ! I GOT IT !

IT SEEMS THAT A CRAZED FAN HAS RUN ONTO THE FIELD...

AND TAKEN THE BALL AWAY.

NOT ME.

NEVER.

AND LET ME TELL YOU, IT'S A SAD DAY FOR THE SPORT OF BASEBALL...

AND ALL OF CANINE KIND, WHEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS.

HE'S AT THE 20 ! HE'S AT THE 30 !

HE'S OUT OF HERE !

I AM JUST SICKENED.

WELL, I KNOW NONE OF US LIKES TO HEAR THE "B" WORD, BUT THAT IS ONE BAD DOG.

WHOO-HOO !

CHANCE, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU ?

STAY OFF THE FIELD !

GET THE DOG OUT OF HERE, SEAVER.

HEY, TAKE IT EASY.

YOU PUSH MY HUMAN, YOU'RE PUSHIN' ME, BABE.

I'VE SEEN SOME PRETTY DUMB DOGS, SEAVER.

EXCUSE ME, "DUMB" ? YOURS IS PATHETIC !

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT ! I'LL SHOW YOU PATHETIC !

THIS TASTES PRETTY GOOD. CUT IT OUT ! GIVE IT TO ME !

IT TASTES ALMOST BETTER THAN A BASEBALL. YOU STUPID DOG !

I WARNED YOU ! YES !

WHOO-HOO !

HE MIGHT BE-- YES, THAT DOG IS OUTTA HERE !

HEY, JAMIE, YOU CATCH WHAT I SAID TO THAT GIRL WHEN I YANKED HER MITT AWAY ?

I GO, "CALL ME DUMB, WILL YOU ?"

NO, CHANCE ! CUT IT OUT !

OKAY, THAT'S COOL. YOU BE ME AND I'LL BE THE KIDS.

"HEY, COME BACK, YOU DUMB DOG ! COME ON, YOU CRAZY MUTT, DROP THAT MITT !"

HONEYS, WE'RE HOME ! -OH, HERE HE IS.

COME ON, HONEY, WE'RE LATE. LET'S GO, LET'S GO.

IT'S CHANCE'S FAULT.

WE CHASED HIM ALL OVER THE PARK !

COME ON, JAMIE, DON'T BE MAD AT ME, PAL.

I STILL DON'T SEE WHY WE HAVE TO GO ON A STUPID CAMPING TRIP ANYWAY.

I'M GOING TO MISS THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT GAMES.

COME ON, CHANCE. WHERE ARE WE GOIN' ?

ROAD TRIP. ALL RIGHT, SHOTGUN ! OR THE BACK, THE BACK IS GOOD.

WELL,

THE START OF ANOTHER FUN-FILLED FAMILY VACATION.

OKAY.

WATCH YOUR NOSE, CHANCE.

SO, GUYS, WHERE DO YOU THINK THEY'RE TAKING US ?

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT US, BUT I KNOW WHERE THEY'RE TAKING YOU.

IT CAN'T BE ANYPLACE BAD, OR THEY WOULD HAVE GIVEN US THOSE DUMB TRANQUILIZES.

HEY, PETER, DID YOU GIVE THEM THE TRANQUILIZERS ?

UH-OH.

WE'RE DOOMED. - CALM DOWN, NOBODY'S DOOMED.

THEN LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. WHY DID THEY SHOVE THOSE LITTLE GREEN KIBBLES DOWN OUR THROATS ?

IF YOU'RE SMART LIKE ME, YOU'LL GET RID OF IT.

GET RID OF IT ? HOW ?

EASY. YOU JUST WORK UP A NICE-SIZED HAIR BALL...

AND YOU THINK OF SOMETHING DISGUSTING.

LIKE A BIG, FLUFFY CAT.

[ Retching, Burping ] HOW PLEASANT.

HEY, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT BALL.

* NINETY-NINE CANS OF DOG FOOD ON THE WALL *

* NINETY-NINE CANS OF DOG FOOD EVERYBODY.

* IF ONE OF THOSE CANS SHOULD HAPPEN TO FALL *

* NINETY-EIGHT CANS OF DOG FOOD ON THE WALL * * OF CAT FOOD ON THE WALL

CATS ONLY. I HATE THIS SONG !

SHADOW, THEY'RE GONNA TAKE YOU ON THE PLANE NOW. DON'T BE SCARED.