Moonbase 8

Clean driveway.

"Long Way Up" by Jailhouse

All right.

Come on.

Are you kidding me?

Let me guess, it's spark plugs.

Damn it.

Don't have the spark plugs, can't do the tune-up.

Can't do the tune-up if I don't have spark plugs.

Come on!

If Andy were to step out on the surface of the Moon

without a space suit, this is what would happen.

In the near vacuum of space,

the gases within his body would immediately expand.

His blood would appear to boil from...

Oh, come on.

Attention, Moonbase 8.

Congress has approved our budget

for the next fiscal year.

Funds to the Moonbase program have been cut by 15%.

In order to offset some of the losses,

we are pleased to announce a new partnership with Mars.

We're going to Mars. That's great.

- Well, let's see. - We'll see.

...connected us with the Mars candy company...

who just signed a three-year deal to become

- an official NASA partner. - Well, I mean,

they've got cool products.

They got M&M's, obviously Mars,

which isn't as popular in the United States,

more of a British thing.

- Um, Snickers, they've got... - Can we listen

- to the rest of the report? - Snickers ice cream.

I-I know what candy they make.

...you will participate in the product testing

of an exclusive new candy:

the Snickers Honey-Glazed Maple Bar.

Thank you.

What do you think, Cap?

Orders are orders, boys.

All right, let's check it out.

Eat those things up, I guess.

Got some, comment cards

for you guys to fill out, honestly.

"Please complete the questionnaire by marking X

in the appropriate box."

Let's dig in. See what we got here.

- Boy, look at that. - Oh, it's swimming in honey.

I don't know if I want to hold this, you know,

if I'm driving or something; it's very sticky.

Got a lot of drips happening here.

- Feel... It's like... - Oh, I can hear it.

- Yeah. - It's that smack to it.

What about, um, a separate little,

bag that has the honey in it?

- Like a dipper. Honey dipper. - Little... Yeah.

Well, that's what they did, with, McDonald's Corp,

with, Chicken McNuggets.

So it becomes a sort of family...

You-you put the honey in the middle--

Oh, yeah, write that down.

This would be a nightmare for long-hair dog owners.

Your hands are all sticky.

Your cat or your dog comes up, and you give them a pet.

I'm feeling affectionate when I see the word "honey."

Like, "Oh, hi, honey."

I got to tell you, it's good to have honey.

- It's been a while. - Yeah.

Guys, what are we doing?

I feel like NASA's just farming us out.

This has nothing to do with our skills.

How are we taking this seriously?

- This pencil's stuck. - I went to MIT,

not Hersheypark.

Whatever this is, I-I feel silly.

I-I'd rather not do this.

Well, write it all down.

Okay.

"I'd rather not do this.

Dr. Henai."

Skip?

Gonna get some nutrition.

Need to eat something that has some value.

I think this is important work.

We're helping out NASA, and we're having a fun time doing it

with these sweet treats.

Hey, guys? There's a...

There's a new base.

- Huh? - Just west of here.

It's SpaceX.

Space sex?

No. SpaceX.

Like your ex-wife.

Or my ex-wife.

- Here. You seen this? - Yeah, this guy.

Huh, looks like Leon DiCaprio.

No, it's "Alon" Musk, the guy who owns SpaceX.

Yeah. They're going to Mars.

- Wait. They're going to Mars? - They think

- they're going to Mars. - That's pretty cool.

No, it's not cool.

They set up their base within eyesight of us?

That's not cool. That's not cool.

It's cocky. And I don't like it.

-Well-- -Where do they get off,

doing that? You know?

I think we should be good neighbors

and go over there and say hi.

Oh, that's a cool idea.

Well, I'm not breaking protocol.

And that's a dick move on their part.

All right.

You guys...

where are the good bagels?

You know? The canned ones.

We got, like, a big shipment in last month.

Yeah, we got, like, a gross of those.

I think they just sent these dehydrated little ones.

Which I'm not gonna eat.

These budgets cuts are just killing me.

I'm trying to do experiments; I can't even eat a bagel?

- Geez, tell me about it. - It sucks.

Oh, that dishwashing liquid there,

I've been watering that down for weeks.

Your dish soap is a problem?

How about my rover needs three spark plugs?

And those candy bars? Testing those? What...

What does... How does that help us?

Tell you one thing.

All those guys at SpaceX?

You think they're worrying about money or budgetary concerns?

- No. - No, I don't think so.

They just ask their buddy "Alon" and, boom, it's there.

"'Alon, ' hey, could I have 20 bucks?"

"Yeah, no problem."

You know, I just can't help thinking

of what Christ says, about turning the other cheek

and loving thy neighbor.

I know you don't want to hear this, Cap,

but maybe the right move is to go over there and explain

our situation, hat in hand, and maybe they can help us out

with our bagel situation.

I don't think we're allowed to do that.

Wait a minute.

That is a great idea.

What do you mean? What I, what I said?

You said we can't break protocol.

I did say that. But that is a great idea.

We don't just ask them for bagels, though.

We make conta... Oh, my gosh.

This idea.

Why didn't we think of this before?

We propose a merger of NASA and SpaceX!

That sounds pretty complicated.

No, no, no, it's a grassroots, bottom-up idea.

- This is a good idea. - It's a good idea,

but they're private, we're public.

- Yeah. - We can't just wa...

So what? My cable company and my phone company merged.

Like Blockbuster Video, they just went from a store thing

to a... what-whatever happened to them.

- They-they changed. - A chain.

Yeah. Yeah, well, they-they changed.

- They morphed into something. - That's a great point.

Calberry Cross took Lutheran United, just scooped them up,

made for a bigger, better church.

- All right. - NASA.

SpaceX. Boom. Problem solved.

I wonder if Billy Goat is over there

- at the Mars simulator. - Who's Billy Goat?

He worked under me at JPL. He was like my protégé.

Look at him.

That's him right there in the middle.

- With that beard. - Yeah.

Yeah, he's so cool. He looks like he's in System of a Down

or 3 Doors Down, one of those groups.

That is the coolest person I've ever seen in a lab.

We put this picture up in the NASA Twitter feed

and everyone went crazy.

They were just like, "Who's that guy?

No, not her. Him."

And he ended up being a judge on BattleBots.

Wait, are you telling me he worked for JPL under you?

Oh, he used to get me coffee.

Come on! He was your peon.

- He'll do whatever you say. - Yeah.

Listen. All right, here-here's what's happening.

I'm suspending protocol, officially.

We're gonna make

this merger happen.

What the heck?

"At SpaceX, we value the emotions of our fellow man.

We would love to have you over to see our facility,

but we're afraid that is not a possibility

based on our strict adherence to a class 100 clean room."

"Please plan on receiving us at 3 p.m. tomorrow."

"Receiving us"? They-they want to come over here?

- Yeah. - All right, looks like

- we got some guests. - Yeah.

- I could do beef-style stew. - Yes.