Manhattan Love Story

Please stop. Come on.

Oh, please stop.

Finally.

Oh, about time.

What's this? You rude man!

You and your bad manners and your uneven ears.

There you go, miss.

How sweet.

Cool ears.

Oh, thank you.

Uh, you'd be much more handsome if you'd shave.

Thank you, sir!

And thank you, New York.

Ohh, thank you, New York.

I got it!

Are you golfing?

I feel like the odds of me getting away with a lie here

are really low.

Who you going with?

Uh, I'm just going to the driving range with Peter and Chloe.

Peter? Your brother?

All right, quick assess.

Hair... unbrushed.

Pajamas... still in them at noon.

Bra... in the other room.

Okay, I love you. We're leaving. I'll see you after the game.

Amy! Hey!

Just act normal.

How do you usually greet someone?

Dana.

Peter. Whatever are you doing here?

And the winner for most awkward greeting goes to... Dana!

Cute pajamas.

- Thank you. - Whoa. Is she not wearing a bra?

I didn't expect company.

Yeah, well, we're just gonna go hit some balls this morning,

and then I might hit the gym later.

Kind of on a two-a-day right now.

Well, I was gonna read "Jane Eyre" and eat burritos.

Well, listen, if you're not doing anything tomorrow,

do you want to maybe grab some dinner, do something?

No.

I'm... not doing anything tomorrow.

- Okay. - Yes, I can come.

Great. Fantastic.

Here, let's, uh... you want to meet at, um... oh, crap.

I have a thing. Sorry. I totally forgot.

Um... y-you doing anything Tuesday?

No.

Great. All right.

Tuesday it is. I'll see you guys later?

Mm-hmm.

- Yay! - No.

Look, it's great... that you guys are going out,

but maybe you shouldn't make it look like

you just sit at home with nothing to do.

I don't have nothing to do. I have my books.

And if you'd let me, I'd get a cat.

Let's avoid that fate by making things work out with Peter.

I don't need to make things work out with Peter.

But things are going... nicely. Thank you.

Are they?

Yeah.

We've had some really nice moments.

And I'm sure that someday, we're gonna get through a date

without one of us crying.

Come on!

- Nice one. - Oh, was it?

I wasn't even looking.

Totally saw it. Might not be too late to turn pro.

By the way, tomorrow's bonus day.

Come on!

Bonus day!

Can we please not turn dad giving us free money

into a competition this year?

What do you say? Want to make a bet on whose is bigger?

The only thing creepier than listening to my brothers

talk about whose is bigger is... nothing.

Wow. Nothing is creepier than this conversation.

All right, fine. Let's just forget about it.

No competition this year.

Because there is no competition.

I am literally the best at everything.

Come on! Heads up!

Geez, David!

My bad.

Is it me

or does one of those envelopes look a little heavier?

I'm rising above.

You impressed?

The great birthday debacle of 2008 started

with you bragging about how strong you are.

It ended with a bicycle wrapped around David's neck.

Oh, yeah!

That was the best present ever.

I know.

- Great year, Peter. - Thanks, dad.

It goes without saying

that I'd like you to keep the amount private.

Oh, yeah. Of course.

Look. Trust me, I wouldn't dream of... sharing it.

- Check's upside down. - Daddy. Oh.

Oh, sweetie.

You're the... it...

Oh, can I help you?

Nope. Just... looking at some underwear.

That's a necklace.

And necklaces.

Okay, just move away from the judgment zone

and fish some underwear out of this giant birdbath.

When did lingerie stores all start looking like dollhouses?

Peter!

...is on a date.

Fun.

All right. You haven't done anything wrong.

Now, don't make this awkward. You can handle this.

Dana, this is grace.

Grace, this is Dana, my friend.

"Friend"?

"Friend"?!

Not friend. Oh, that is not handling it.

Actually, tha... ah. It's a funny story.

Um... And I'm holding a thong.

Just slide it behind your back.

It's not a really funny story, now that I think about it.

Oh. Cute panties. Shopping for a hot date?

Oh, these are... no, they're nothing.

Stop waving them like a sparkler, Dana.

- Oh. - They're my backups.

Wait. Backups? For what?

I don't want to keep you two.

So... have fun on your outing.

- Backup panties. - Miss!

This could not get any worse.

Miss! You gonna pay for those?!

Uh, you know what? She... she's a friend.

I'll buy those.

Pity panties. Oh, it just got worse.

I'm not angry.

Peter may date whomever he wants.

Exactly. He's got a mix.

This is how things work in New York,

which is why we need to get you your own mix.

You know me.

I date one guy at a time,

and more often no guy at a time, which is why we need...

We are not getting a cat!

So, the plan is to... not date anyone else

while you play this one out with Peter?

It's just the kind of person I am.

So... you're fine with Peter

just dating a bunch of other women?

Well, yeah, how many women are we talking?

Like, if he had to drive them around, are we talking sedan or minivan?

Like an airport shuttle?

The number doesn't really matter.

What matters is that he's out there dating up a storm

while you're just waiting to see who he picks.

No, if that's how he wants to handle it,

then I'm fine with it.

Are you fine with that? Really?

If you're seeing other people,

then he can't take you for granted.

Like, when David found out I was still dating other people, he proposed.

True story. I buckled.

I'm not playing this game.

Like, if the universe wants to bring someone my way,

I will be open to it.

Well, you are in luck,

because the universe has brought you me,

and I just put Tinder on your phone.

That's not really my style.

Okay, you've dated like three people since college,

so you don't really have a style.

Okay. We're in.

All right, you swipe right if like him

and then left if you don't.

Look, even if I were to agree on this mix thing,

I want to actually get to know someone

and go out with them and not reduce my judgment

to a stupid tiny little pho... He's cute.

No. No ironic porkpie hats.

Strong disagree.

Wow, lots of guys with beards who can't grow beards.

No offense.

Why would I take offense?

Exactly.

Mm, okay. All right. I can do this.

- Mm. - Yeah. I got this.

- Swipe left. - No, no, no, no, no.

You swipe to the right if you like him, not left.

No. Just make him come back. Come back.

Oh. No. Can't. He's gone forever.

No! Dana, stop... no. Slow it down. Huh?

This guy... two distinct eyebrows and a job.

Swipe right.

I feel like a princess.

- Hey. - Did you see Dana last night?

- I guess. - Did she say anything?

She said a lot of things.