Idiotsitter

What are you doing?

Uh, as you know, we've been studying American History,

and that's why I'm so proud to introduce you

to a very special and patriotic guest--

Why are you talking from the other room?

- Not a real drum. - The 35th President,

John F. Kennedy! Kennedy! Kennedy!

Hello, Gene.

I'm here to tell you all about

a very tumultuous time in our country's history,

the 1960s.

Didn't you get shot in the head?

That's right. Very impressive, Gene.

I did get shot in the head.

But how do you know that?

What do you mean? I--

'Cause your brain bits would be all over your lap and stuff.

I read the paper the next day, and I saw that I--

Oh, so you're a ghost that reads?

No, I... no, I--

Oh, you're Kevin Costner? Playing JFK?

- He played a detective-- - Oh, I never saw it.

That was researching the assassination.

I never watched it. It looked boring.

How do you not know anything about anything,

but you know everything about JFK?

So you are Billie!

- I called it. - No, I--

I knew it when you walked in.

I was like, "That's Billie."

I had a whole thing planned,

and I would do my--was working on my accent.

Yeah, it's good. It's a horrible accent.

- No-- - Keep doing it.

Okay, um, "But because of that conflict" --

Are you saying "corn-flict?"

- Conflict. - Oh, conflict.

- "And upheaval." - Upheaval.

"Of the time, we are now closer than ever

to being an equal opportunity society."

If we're an equal opportunity society,

why haven't I been served my lemonade yet?

Hmm? Think about that.

Ha ha!

Ugh, too mushy.

Too hard.

Oh, just right.

That's good.

You just said that one was good.

Yeah, I don't care for peaches personally.

Gene, you're being a brat.

You're just making a mess for Joy to clean up.

Joy doesn't clean those up. Do you, Joy?

- Sí. - See?

"Sí" means yes.

You're a saint, by the way, Joy,

to put up with this.

- Kiss-ass. - Right?

You totally deserve a raise for putting up with that.

You were just throwing peaches on the ground.

Oh my god, you're obsessed with the peaches right now.

Okay? We've moved on

to Joy.

- Selfish. - Uh-huh.

You do deserve a raise, though. I agree.

Mr. Russell doesn't give raises.

I do get to keep Gene's hand-me-downs.

Okay, I'm sorry, that's crazy

that you've never gotten a raise.

Yeah, she's right.

You need to get you some paper, son.

You know what? Go in, make your case.

- He'll go for it. - Oh, I know what you should do.

- She's gotta "Shark Tank" it. - Mm-hmm.

- What is Sharks-- - "Shark Tank" it!

- Okay! - "Hi, Mark Cuban,

can I have some money?"

That's such a good impression, "Shark Tank" it!

Oh. Hey, Joy.

I don't think the trash is too full,

but I am glad you are here.

I want to talk to you about the menu

for the big dinner party this weekend.

- Mr. Kent. - Hmm.

I've been with this family for a very long time now.

And I do whatever is asked of me.

That's why I'm here to ask for a 10% raise

in a 100% stake for the rest of my job.

What's happening right now?

Are you "Shark Tanking" me?

I can't take anything less than 10%.

You are "Shark Tanking" me.

Joy, you know I don't give raises,

and yet here you are asking for one.

And for that reason...

I'm out.

What do you mean?

I saw this cool movie last night.

- Yeah. - Have you seen "Forrest Gump?"

Everyone's seen "Forrest Gump."

I don't think so.

What do you think "Run, Forrest" --

Joy, what's wrong?

I listened to your stupid advice and I got fired.

- He fired you. -

- Who's gonna brush my hair? - Gene!

I'm so sorry, Joy, I feel like this is partially my fault.

Partially?

This is all your fault.

You think you're so smart because of your books

and your degrees and your maxi pad

you left in your underwear that I had to throw out

before I washed them?

I can assure you, I did not know

about the last thing until now.

Goodbye, ladies.

- I feel so bad. - You should feel bad.

That's disgusting. I mean, I'm grossed out. Me.

- About Joy. - Oh, right.

I can't believe he fired her. I mean, you can't just

throw people away like trash.

Yeah, you should leave 'em in your underwear

for the maid to find.

Hey, Joy. Um, it's me.

Your phone's doing that thing where it rings once

and goes right to voice-mail--which is cool.

Totally cool. I wanted to say how much

I really hate you-- - Message complete.

Not being here!

I hate you not being here!

- God. - Oh, Billie.

Yikes, first you get her fired,

now you're leaving her hate messages?

I didn't get her fired. Your dad is being ridiculous.

Well, we were a part of that too.

Damn it.

No--no, no!

How am I supposed to eat with no Joy?

- That's it. - What?

That's it! We'll go on a hunger strike.

Huh? Action through peaceful protest,

like our brothers and sisters of the '60s, baby!

Yes, I am so in.

- Yeah. - Whoo!

Except, I believe it's called a "hunger stroke."

- It isn't. - You wanna look it up?

- You're still eating. - Oh, right.

Spit it out.

Don't put that in your mouth.

Oh, my gosh, Joy's back!

I never looked away.

Well, say what you will about Joy,

but she made a mean eggplant.

You can't plant eggs.

Well, you probably noticed that Gene and I aren't eating,

and I'm sure you're wondering why.

- I actually hadn't. - We're on hunger strike.

Not a hunger stroke, though it's totally normal

if you thought it was called that.

And we're not going to eat until you hire Joy back.

Gene's eating right now.

I need it, I need it!

Look ladies, do you know why a shark has no memory?

- Bad childhood? - No.

A true predator never looks back.

I don't know if that's factual.

Word is "actual."

You can even not eat as much as you like,

but I'm not budging. How does that strike you?

It strikes me like lightning.

As in, never.

Which is how much I'm gonna eat,

and this one's gonna eat,

until Joy gets back in here.

Using her maid legs!

Get him, Billie!

And... that's a... fact.

Oh, Billie, you're awful at this.

Hope for domestic rights!

Hope for domestic workers!

Hope for freedom-- - Stop yelling!

Who are you talking to?

Sorry, I'm just cranky 'cause this protest sucks.

There's no people here but us and New Chet.

Yeah, man, and this sign stick is giving me hella splinters.

You guys, don't worry. This is how all movements start.

Plus, I called my old college buddies from Baked Earth.

They will make it happen.

Your buddies sound like hippies. I hate hippies.

They are a conscious collective of peace warriors.

Oh--oh, great.

Here comes another protestor.

See? It's already working.

Oh, and she went all out, wearing a sexy maid's uniform.

- Ah! - Stop it.

- Hello, I'm the new maid, Hope. - Maid?

- Drop--drop, drop! - What?

- What do we do? - Come on, lock paws.

- Form a wall of resistance. - Hey, hey.

Baby girl, you want to get in there?