The Changeling

Did you know that the oldest known lullaby

is a 5,000-year-old Babylonian song?

"Little baby in the dark house, you have seen the sun rise.

Why are you crying? Why are you screaming?

You have disturbed the house god.

Tell me your journey. Each of you.

Tell me your life's voyage, and I will tell you who you are."

Hello?

Emma.

What are you doing here?

I've been calling and texting for a week.

Six-month check for you and Brian.

He's not here. I have somewhere to go.

What?

- You understand he needs a checkup? -

Okay, where are we going?

I stopped checking my phone. That's why I didn't know you were coming.

Stopped when?

Hmm, about a month ago.

Emma! Emma!

- -

Apollo takes the baby to the park every morning.

He doesn't sleep much anymore either.

Brian?

Apollo. Having nightmares. We're all a mess.

You could try a little Benadryl to help you sleep.

You can take a little while you're breastfeeding.

I'm worried about you, Emma. I see you, and I feel worried.

- -

Can I help you?

I heard about you from the message board. You were told I'd come.

Who sent you?

Cal sent me.

I hope these are useful.

- -

- - What the hell is in there? Emma?

- -

Chains. Chains?

Emma. Emma.

- We're here. - My mom and your sister are here.

- - Oh, baby.

Red bean soup, meat loaf, mashed potatoes, lasagna, samosas, two quiches, oxtail.

Thank you.

Oh, I love this little munchkin.

- Mmm. -

Apollo tells me you're having trouble. I had the same problem with him.

I didn't have my mother with me either. Flying with closed eyes.

Flying blind.

- It just takes time. - Yeah.

I'll help. Let me see what you're doing.

Um…

- Good morning. All awake? - Oh, wait.

- - Hmm.

Oh. Too bad.

- What? - Your breasts are wrong.

- Mom. - Lillian.

Come on. All right. Let's not do that.

Just... To the kitchen, Mom.

Easier to know it. Sad truth is better than a happy lie.

Mom… …thanks for bringing the food, honestly. But...

Brian.

That's his name.

Brian. Brian.

- All right. - You honor an invisible man.

Did you come here to ruin the day for everybody?

- Looks like it. -

- -

- -

- Mmm. - When a baby is born,

a mother is also born.

She never existed before.

The woman existed, but a mother is something absolutely new.

Mmm. I just wanna be the perfect mom.

- -

You're his perfect mom.

Well, I learned from the greatest.

And she is spinning again. And…

- - Ow.

Stop complaining.

You know who I'm talking about.

After two months of little to no sleep,

a person might suffer panic attacks,

paranoia, and phobias no lullaby can soothe.

I don't understand. Where are the buttons?

- - Oh!

- Oh. There we are. - There he is.

- It's a smartphone, Mom. - Oh.

How's he sleeping?

Ah, I read something that said he should be at six to nine hours.

I'll believe it when I sleep it.

Hi.

- Hey. - Babe.

- What? - Ooh. Oh.

- Hey, can you... Sorry. I'm gonna... - Oh, yeah.

We're trying to limit the screen time. It's not good for him.

A telephone?

Yeah, he's just a little too young.

He's too young for it. I'm too old for it.

So instead, we'll spend the whole night playing games…

- Uh-huh. - …and hugging.

Nice. Ooh.

So, where are we baptizing him?

Uh, we actually weren't...

Unless one is born of water and spirit, he cannot be saved.

Saved from?

The dark creatures of the world.

Thanks, Mom.

Yeah, thank you, Mom.

- Oh, wait. Right there. -

- Oh, my God. -

Thank you.

You're thanking me for a gift?

You are a gift.

Mmm, I've missed you. Not you. The wine.

- Mmm. - Mmm.

Oh, that's good.

Can I just... You just got a little...

- What? - A little... Mmm.

- There you go. Mm-hmm. - Thank you.

So, what's happening with the appraisal?

That dude's slow. Slug turtle.

Think you can trust him?

- Mmm… - 'Cause you know,

he's probably taking breaks every five minutes to jerk off

to puppet porn… …or something.

There she is.

People tell you all about how you'll love your baby

more than you'll love anything in the world…

…which is true.

But now you have this thing that you love so much,

you'll have to kill yourself if anything happens to it.

They don't tell you that.

- Right. - They don't say that.

Everything's right except that part about killing yourself.

Mmm. No. Mm-mmm.

He dies, I die.

Sorry, you're on your own.

- Okay, well, if you were gonna do that… - Mmm. Mm-hmm.

…how would you do it?

Jump off George Washington Bridge.

- What? You? -

Yes. Me.

I would not have had you pegged for someone that would jump off a bridge.

- Why? Mmm. I want clean. - Sorry. It's something...

I just wanna… …plop.

- You know? - Belly flop.

- - Yeah.

Hey, you wanna…

Hey, you wanna do a thing?

I'm so glad we went out.

You know, it really feels like we turned a corner.

You know?

Handsome boy.

Hey, I gotta get you right now.

Here.

Boom!

Oh, my God. Like father, like son, huh? Handsome.

Hey, Shoji.

- Hey, man. Good to see ya. - Hey. Say, "Hi."

Good morning.

- Hello. - Hey.

Hey, Imogen.

- Hey, how's Emma? - You see?

- How's the breastfeeding? Yeah? - Oh, she's good. She's... Tired. You know.

- We're trying, but we'll get there. -

We'll get there.

- Hey. - Hey, look at your buddy.

- Staring contest? - Ready?

- Yeah. Go. - Go.

Oh!

Hey.

- Hey, look at this. - It's your friend

- who won the staring contest. - I know you. I know you.

Say, "Hi."

- - Nothing?

- -

- Two months old today, bubba. -

Two.

- Two, two, two months. Wow. -

Hey. There's a new dad saying when we start him on solids…

- Mmm. - …that we should use avocado.

Because if we use the sweet stuff... like bananas, fruit...,

then all he's gonna want is sweet stuff.

Will you just please make sure he doesn't get too cold today?

- You know? - Yeah.

Oh, and coconut oil.