Only Murders in the Building

What do we know? Bunny was killed

with a knitting needle

and a knife.

What did happen that night?

It's all a blur.

Memory can contain both objective reality

and subjective perception.

Everyone's just so obsessed with my past.

My dad got me a jigsaw puzzle when I was 4.

It was 1,000 pieces.

My DNA came back.

Half was clearly Mom,

but the other half was Greek.

I'm the only one who's been looking out

for your interest!

I have no life anymore!

Where is Detective Williams?

She's on maternity leave in Denver.

We're texting with the killer!

We tell him we'll put the matchbook inside

a Stop and Shop bag in a trash can

outside Morningside Park.

Glitter!

- There's no getting rid of glitter. - Fuck!

There goes our best chance at clearing our names.

Yo! Bloody Mabel sighting number two!

She just stabbed some dude!

My dad loved puzzles.

Especially the ones with lots of pieces

that could swallow up an entire weekend.

After he'd moved out,

the two of us got into this routine.

Every Sunday, we'd sit around in our pajamas

and do a puzzle together.

How long do you think it'll take us this time?

A thousand years.

Well, your mom comes to get you at 3:00,

so we're gonna have to do better than that.

I'm kidding. This one's easy.

Oh, yeah? Well, what if

we do it without the box?

No pictures to help us.

Still easy.

What if we do it upside down then? Just the shapes.

You think you can do it?

Of course, it's you!

No! Stay back, asshole!

What? What are you saying?

She stabbed him! She fucking stabbed him!

Is that me?

Did I stab someone...

...again?

Ripped and corrected by - YoungJedi -

Okay. Okay.

So, I-I checked out the Pickle Diner, the subway stop,

the SoHo Forever 21 just to be sure. She's nowhere.

I called all the hospitals. The only Mabel I found

was 99 and had just died.

I'm worried about her, Oliver.

She hasn't answered any of my calls or my text communications.

Nor mine. Which is extra concerning

'cause we're always texting.

The memes, Charles. You should see the memes.

Mabel.

Oh great.

Now we have a baby to deal with.

Oh, it's not a baby.

It's my trainee.

Junior Detective Keith. You know what?

Actually, y'all will get along,

considering all you do is piss your pants every 10 minutes.

I need to talk to you. I got questions.

Can I get you anything?

Nice accessory.

You steal jewelry from dead people,

and the state gives you an anklet.

Kind of poetic.

Did I really stab someone?

You should be a trauma counselor, Theo. Really.

I don't know ASL.

No. Nothing.

It's just gone.

You can only get a third of what I'm saying?

It always seems like people can lip read more in movies.

Okay, I have to go.

Do you know where my bag is?

My bag.

It had a matchbook

with a bloody fingerprint on it.

No, no! Theo, th-that was our biggest clue!

I don't-- I don't know what you're saying! It has to be here!

Theo, I still don't know ASL! Why am I even here?

She stabbed him! She fucking stabbed him!

He took my bag? Why...

Was it Glitter Guy?

The person on the train.

Glitter Guy. Did he have glitter on him?

Is that ASL for "glitter"?

That was kind of fun.

Uh...

Is this his?

I need to get to Coney Island now.

Not to stab him again. Although, I'm leaving my options open.

He has the matchbook, and if he works there,

they have to have some kind of record or photos.

No, no, no. I'm not letting you help me.

You killed Zoe,

and you let Oscar sit in jail for 10 years.

So, what really happened

when Mabel went to get some more champagne that night?

Aren't you supposed to be in Denver?

Were you aware of her violent past?

Because we heard you were in Denver on maternity leave.

Goddammit, would y'all focus?

Yes.

I was on a trip, as of last night,

and I cut the shit short because there's something that's been bothering me.

It's been keeping me up at night.

- Let me guess, it was your baby? - No!

It was you, dipshits!

I can't stop thinking about this damn case,

and how you clearly know things that you're not sharing.

Hm?

Oh, okay.

So it's gonna be like that?

Because if you don't clear some stuff up for me,

I have no choice but to agree

with a way less fuckin' friendly Detective Kreps.

Two stabbings with knitting needles?

Come on, guys.

- That does not look good for your girl. - Hold on.

Those are two unrelated incidents.

Bunny was killed with a knife, not a knitting needle,

or did Detective Kreps conveniently forget that?

There is no knife here!

And you won't find one at Mabel's either. And you can turn Oliver's place

upside down for all I care

because you'd be wasting your time!

Because Mabel didn't do it! There you go.

Excuse me. I need...

bathroom. I-I need to go to the bathroom.

Ah! Open!

You... damned...

Passageway! Oh!

Yo, is he okay?

You know--

I'm sure it's nothing. He has an unorthodox diet.

So, you know what?

I'm just gonna go, uh, check on him.

Oh. Okay...

Okay.

Stop!

Are you doing what I think you're doing?

Of course not!

What do you think I'm doing?

You're sneaking into your apartment to get rid of the bloody knife

you should have gotten rid of ages ago!

Wrong.

It was only days ago.

- You still have the murder weapon? - Hey,

buddy, if you don't like the way I do my felonies,

you're welcome to commit some yourself.

Okay. Okay. I'm sorry.

I-I forgot.

- Forgot. - I brought it with me to Jersey

because, well, Jersey seems like the place you go

if you want to get rid of incriminating evidence.

But then, I got distracted by an even bigger emergency.

My son Will's production of Oz.

I mean, talk about a disaster.

- But here's the good news. - Finally.

I saved the show.

It actually turned out pretty good.

Will is over the moon.

My boy. My probably boy.

Okay, when are those damn DNA results coming?

- Jesus... - Refocus. Mabel.

Okay, right, yes. Okay. You know,

Mabel did want us to give the knife to the cops when we first found it.

You want to give it to Williams?

Well, it doesn't have Mabel's prints on it, right?

Unless the killer did put her prints on it,

hoping we'd give it to the cops.

We need to get rid of it.

Unless the killer wants us to get rid of it,

so that he can catch us in the act of destroying evidence.

Is everything okay in there?

Oh, yes! Uh, sorry!

Uh, just a moment.

This turned out to be a two-man job.

So you have the knife.

Knife? Knife...

No.

- No knife. - Stop it!

Do you understand the definition of perjury?

I know what perjury is.

I did a production of 12 Angry Men once.

But with women. 12 Angry Women.

One of the sisters from Hamilton was in it.

This was years before Hamilton.