Blue Eyed Girl

Give it back! Stop!

- Guys, what are you fighting about?

He stole my toy.

- I did not! - Guys, stop!

Four minutes, if you're quiet for four minutes,

I'll get you ice cream.

Six minutes.

That's my kind of negotiation.

- Eight minutes. That's my final offer.

- Guess they're not gonna be lawyers.

What?

- Nothing. I said you guys will make great lawyers.

Ah! Ah.

- No! - Cal!

- It's mine! - Hey, Cal!

I could use some help, I'm gonna be late.

Cal? Cal?

Hey, Janie.

Sorry, man, I was up all night writing.

I need to sleep at some point.

Did you get a lot done?

Yeah! Yeah, yeah.

Come on! There's, like, nothing delicious in here.

No Oreos. Nothing processed at all.

- Yeah, well, you know, Oreos are out of season.

They don't harvest them til the spring.

- Then I think we should get a tree.

So if there was ever any kind of massive disaster,

we could live off the land, one Oreo at a time.

Oh, you would be so happy.

Hey, Dad, it's me, um, I tried your earlier,

I couldn't get you, but I'm off to work.

Um, I'll be back later tonight, so gimme a call.

Okay? Love you.

Okay, I gotta go. I'm late.

Okay.

Love you, guys!

- All right, honey, I'll put the rest of it away.

it's me, uh, have you talked to Dad?

I keep trying him. I don't know where he is.

Okay, well, call me. Love you.

Okay, cut.

All right, great job, guys.

That was a fun one.

Next up, we got a rooftop dance party. Have a look.

Let's make this one sexy.

Come on, I need big energy.

Whoops, hollers, that kind of thing.

Let's try to make this scene come to life.

I'll beep you in.

Cut! You can do better than that.

No, that was shit.

I went to fucking Yale drama.

So what am I supposed to do?

I'm 41, and guess what?

They cast me as the mother of 30-year-olds.

30-year-olds. I'm 41.

I should have gotten a real job.

It's true though.

It's like when Cal and I first met, we were so,

you know, wide-eyed and artsy and brimming with passion,

but it's not exactly the stuff mortgages are made of.

- Well, but you know, I got the girl

using all that wide-eyed passion, didn't I?

(laughs) Yeah.

I've told you this story?

- No! - No, I don't think you have.

- Oh God, okay, so when I first met Cal,

he had just had his first short story published.

He was so full of himself, I can't even begin to tell you.

He was, he was like I was meeting Hemingway in his heyday.

Oh, that is so not false.

- So a friend of mine invited me to a poetry reading.

He swaggers over to me,

starts chatting me up.

A couple hours later we're wrapping it up,

I'm saying my goodbyes.

On my way out he stops me.

And he says, "Tonight, Three of Clubs, 10 o'clock.

Be there, if you know

what's good for the rest of your life."

It was not that bad.

- So I'm on my way home that night,

and I remember sitting, you know that intersection

where Hollywood Boulevard and Laurel Canyon meet up?

- Yes. - I just sat there

at that stop sign thinking,

"Right, I go home, left, I meet the guy."

So, I went left.

- Well, I wanna propose a toast to the passionate,

brave, and ridiculous people we once were.

- Yes. - Cheers to that.

Cheers.

Ah, tickle searcher!

Get over here, you little monkey!

What? (gasps)

Okay. Hello?

- Janie, it's Dad. He's in the hospital.

He did it again. You need to come home.

Okay, so ballet's at 4:15.

Don't forget, you should get there a little bit early,

okay, to get her ready.

Also, you know, without me here,

you should probably just pack lunches

the night before, right?

And remember, it's gotta be SunButter.

Okay? Peanut butter's the devil.

We'll get kicked outta school.

- You're only going for a couple of days.

Now, their outfits might be a little weird,

but they will be fed and clothed and read to.

Oh, that reminds me.

This is his favorite book.

"Donut Worry."

He's gonna try to get you to read it to him.

Don't fall for it.

I got it. Promise.

The question is, are you okay? Hm?

You sure you don't want us to be there?

- No, no, no, my sisters will be there,

it'd be too much for the kids.

Okay, okay.

Just say the word, and we're there, all right?

- Okay. - Yeah? All right.

Kiddos, where are you?

Come here. Come here.

I love you, I love you, I love you and I miss you already!

Okay? I'll see you soon.

Okay. - Mom, he hit me!

Oh, Jesus. Okay.

You know, you would be shot for driving that thing in LA.

Oh my God, you get one Prius

and now you're the arbiter of morality.

Hi. - Hi.

- Wow, I like, uh, I like the hair.

- Really? I was bored, Lennie hates it.

- Well, it's not really the trophy wife he signed up for.

- Well, fuck him. - Oh-oh!

- No, I mean, I love him, but also, yeah, fuck him.

You got that, right?

How's Dad?

- Well, he tried to kill himself.

He's in a psych ward.

He thinks he's ready to go home,

but I mean, other than that, he's great.

Okay, I will meet you inside and Cici's on her way.

Okay. Uh, is she still, ah?

Okay.

Hey, Papa.

- Janie! - No, Dad, don't get up.

Don't get up. - Oh, Janie,

I'm sick in the head, my body's just fine.

Let me look at you. How's my girl?

- I'm okay. You know, little worried about you.

- Oh, let's not talk about me. (chuckles)

Sit down.

She's, uh, she's a funny lady.

Reminds me of your mother.

- Lucille Ball? Yeah, I hear she was a bitch in real life.

- What? Don't tell me things like that.