Ja, Ik Wil!

I don't know, Roos. I need a woman who stimulates me.

A woman who challenges me. Counterweight.

I love you, Roos, really.

But we've been together for what, four years?. I don't see progression.

Do you?. Do you see progression?. This is what I was promised:

This is what a relationship should look like.

Peaks, excesses of happiness, but also deep dark troughs.

Life, real life, Roos. With us it's more like this.

What do we have to look forward to if we keep going?. To end up like them?.

It's all so 'petit bourgeois'. They lie, to each other and themselves, Roos.

They keep their illusions intact with sugar weddings. What for?.

So we can have 1 000 napkins made with our names on it, just like them?.

They think this facade will make them happier, but it won't, Roos.

It won't.

Yes, no need to tell me. I feel the same way.

This is exactly the problem. -What?.

You always agree with me. I have no idea who you are.

What you really like. -What do you mean?.

When we film each other in the bedroom...

I enjoy that. -You pretend, I can tell.

But I really enjoy it when you do.

What matters is that we love each other.

Maybe we should... I should practice more. -Practice?.

You're not supposed to practice, Roos. You're supposed to get turned on.

I need a woman who makes for fireworks in bed. Fireworks, Roos.

A woman with whom l...

With whom I can experiment. -Experiment with what?.

What do you think?. -l... I don't know.

You don't know?.

Maybe spanking each other?.

Yes. Spanking with what?. -Spanking with...

With brushes.

No, no... -Why not?. Why not?.

No, yes, of course, with brushes. -Go on.

Spanking each other with brushes.

On each other's buttocks. -And then?.

Harder. -Yes, yes.

Well, then we can just do that. -Yes, but not that soft business.

Really hard. Extremely hard. -Yes.

So you tie me up and spank me with brushes. Hard, until I bleed.

That's how hard I want it, Roos. So hard you see lashes.

I want them to get worried at work. That it's too painful to sit.

I'll invent excuses which they won't believe.

Then we'll do it again, but even harder. And then more excuses, and on and on.

It turns me on just to think about it.

Yes, me too. It really does.

Now you're doing it again. -What?.

You're agreeing with me again. Listen, if it doesn't turn you on, fine.

Really, that's fine. I don't enjoy being spanked either.

I'm not a pervert, but this doesn't work for me.

Maybe we can discuss this some other time?.

I just think it's important to be honest, especially now you're starting to age.

I mean, we can't wait forever.

You call this honest?. It's bullshit.

He's a coward who wants to get laid a few times before he turns grey.

You hear that, Roos?. That's exactly what I'm talking about.

Counterweight. This is counterweight.

Look, when we go home and discuss it at our leisure, I'm sure we can work it out.

I can change, you know, really. -I'm breaking up with you, Roos.

I'm breaking up with you.

I'm in my second month, so hush, normally you don't tell till your third.

Did you know, Roos?. -What?.

She's pregnant. She looks so radiant.

Gee, congratulations. Fabulous. -Thank you.

Enough about me. Ladies, we have some fresh meat.

Calm down. It's a trainee, free for the taking.

And there is our little rascal. -Did you just point at my lab?.

Guys, this is Daniel Simons.

Just call me Daan.

Welcome, I'm Patricia. This is... -Hi, I'm Esmee.

Sarah, one second.

I know my research takes a lot of time, but I'm already quite far.

Maybe we can present my project to the subsidy committee.

Rosie, I really appreciate that you are putting those extra hours into it.

But it's pretty simple.

CPD. -Clipping value, profit and declaration.

Unless you can tick off two out of the three, I'm not really interested.

Okay, clear enough. -I want to see results. Come.

Daan, this is Roos. She's your supervisor.

Will you show him around?. -Hey, boss.

You could call her that, but you don't have to.

We're not into hierarchy. Imagine you called me 'boss'.

Come, ladies, let's go. -Nice meeting you.

Have fun.

Well, so I'm Roos. -That's great, boss.

The mating process in control group B shows other results...

other than I expected, which is actually good.

Now I can exclude that the recessive gene is subject to external factors...

such as oxygen content, proteins...

Oh no, don't do that.

But I'm being careful.

No, not without gloves. Your hands alter the acidity of the water.

That's not good for the results. -Okay, I didn't know that.

Sorry, boss, I just figured I'd introduce myself.

Shake paws, you know.

Something like that can affect the entire ecosystem.

Yes, okay. -You know what we're doing here, right?.

Yes, you do research into the reproduction of lobsters.

The Astacidea, which belong to the order Decapoda.

Exactly. So you have something with lobsters?.

No.

I did find a blue lobsters once. -What?.

A blue lobster. -No, yes, I heard what you said.

I found one when I was on vacation in Florida with my parents.

It was blue, which was pretty cool.

But then I threw it back. My mother told me to.

A blue lobster?. -Yes.

Completely blue?. -Yes.

A Procambarus alleni?. -Just a blue lobster.

Do you have any idea how rare they are?. -No.

One in two million. In my entire career I've never seen a single blue lobster.

Sick. So I do have something with lobsters after all.

Surprise.

Is my little flower doing alright?.

I'm fine, Sam, as you know perfectly well. What brings you here?.

Stop clowning around.

Really?. -Yes.

Oh, that's great.

Roos, there's a man who wants to share the rest of his life with me.

Who would ever have thought?. -Yes, no. Yes, oh no, let me see.

Oh, beautiful. Two little globes.

Diamonds, but never mind. -I'm so happy for you.

Yeah-yeah. -No, really.

When is it?. Where is it?. Did he ask your father for your hand?.

Is there a theme?. I know: the 90s. Madonna.

Roos, my wedding is not a Wednesday at the Lellebel or a Tuesday quinoa bash.

It's serious. We still have to pick a date. Somewhere in the fall, I think.

What were you watching?.

I can already see Martin and myself as an old lobster couple.

It's not true. -What's not true?.

Lobsters. Lobsters don't mate for life.

No?. -No.

I'm really sorry about my reaction. I really am happy for you.

But I'm also jealous.

I really thought Pieter was the one. Everything seemed hunky-dory.

I'd already planned the wedding. I'd picked names for the children.

Really?.

Yes. Julia for the girl...

and Sam for the boy.

Really?. Sam?. After this Sam?.

Sweetheart, that's all still possible. -No, how?.

I'm 33 already, that's almost 40.

A little longer and there will be a sign hanging from my womb: 'out of order'.

Hush, it'll all work out.

You just have to hurry up a little, but it will all work out.

Flambeing is an acquired skill.

Hey, boss. -Have you entered last week's results?.

Morning grumpiness?. -It's urgent.

Yes, I was actually just working on it.

Without results, no report. No report, no clipping value.

What do you mean?.

My research lacks clipping value. -What are you talking about?.

It's not a sexy research topic. It's not interesting.

Exposure in newspapers, magazines. Clipping value.

This research doesn't have that.

Do you want some?. Homemade.

It's banana bread.

Are you okay?.

It's not just the clipping value.

It never is.

I'm about to lose my best friend.

Shit. Is he ill?. -No, he's getting married.

And?.

That's it. -Gee, you're working hard.

That was a joke, Roos.

Hey, Daan, are you coming to the FAD?.

The what?. -The Friday Afternoon Drinks.

A drink?. Yes, great. -Great.

Okay, enjoy your work.

Are you coming too?.

No, a party with the department is not my cup of tea.

Why not?. -lt just isn't.

I'd like something glamorous, something...

Don't say another word. You want a Dark Desire.

Hello, sorry to bother you, but can l have another one?. Without glamour.

Hey, boss.

You really don't want one?. -No.

Drinking makes you calm. -ls that it?.

And if everything's calm, it will all work out. Everything will work out.

Like in the movies.

When it all works out.

You know, my life just has to be like the end of a movie.

Not the beginning, not the middle, just the end.

That's what I want. You understand?. -No.

Yes. -Yes, sure.

Yes. -Yes, the end.

Like the end of Friends. Remember?.

Oh no, that's from before your time.

Anyway, at the end Ross and Rachel end up together, and that's what I want.

Guys, I'm out of here. -Already?.

I'm pregnant with a baby. -Really, with a baby?.

Rosie. Did you have a good first week?. -Very good.

Yes?. That's great. -Right?.

Tops. Yo, I'm going to take a leak.

Yes, I think I can really help Roos. -Yes?.

Especially with... with the clipping value.

Yes, exactly. -We come to take shelter.

Some loser who thinks he's the shizzle was trying to hit on us.

Showing off his muscles like... -Oh, so that doesn't actually work.

I always thought that worked. -Only with really desperate women.