Campus Confidential

Che? Here, Kitty.

Did you see Che?

No, Mom.

Che?

Out you go, Che.

Go on. Go make new friends.

Oh, Mom!

I think Che relieved himself

on one of your old articles last night.

Yeah, well, he wouldn't be the first.

Are you still bummed about

theBerkeley Guardian shutting down?

Why do you ask?

Because you just put espresso in your wheatgrass.

Gggg!

Ugh! Gross.

Yeah, sure. I-I'm gonna miss it.

But you know, change is a good thing, Honey.

Although it's not a hotbed for advocacy journalism,

I'm sure there's lots to write about

at theWestland Hills Bugle.

Mom, last week their lead story

was about a new spray-on tanning booth at the mini mall.

True, but never forget, Violet,

there is oppression and injustice everywhere.

Come on. Let's go.

Oh, oh, Honey, I packed you a lunch.

A little comfort food.

Your favorites. Alfalfa sprouts and hemp nuts.

Mom, they do have a cafeteria.

So you feel okay about your first day of school?

You're gonna make new friends, Sweetie.

Hey, Scooby, move the Mystery Machine!

You're blockin' my spot!

Today!

I gotta go.

Bye, Honey. I love you. Bye.

who you're dealin' with?

What areyoudoing on this side of the hall?

Walking?

Wrong.

This side of the hall is reserved

for people who cruise in the fast lane.

That side of the hall

is reserved for the drivers who have yet

to discover Botox, highlights, and Prada.

So scoot

plebe. Plebe.

Plebe?

Okay, people.

Next month marks the beginning of our oral report season.

This semester, our first book is going to beAnimal Farm,

George Orwell's story about the corruptive nature of power.

So let's get some dates nailed down, shall we?

Thank you.

Okay, uh, Jenna Hardcastle,

why don't you get us started off on October 8th?

Okay, gotcha.

Richard Powell,

you'll be utilizing your oral abilities

on October 15th.

Brandon Dunn.

October 22nd.

Mm. Talk about oral abilities.

Oh, God.

October 29th,

how about you, Melinda?

Ooh! No can do.

That's the week of my Fall Ball party.

I'm gonna be, like, totally swamped.

Very well then.

How about Violet Jacobs?

Oh, um,

would it be okay if we could do it on another date?

Um, that's the anniversary of my grandmother's death,

and my mom and I usually do this whole ceremony.

I'm sorry, I'm afraid you're gonna need

a better excuse than that.

Oh.

Like what? A manicure?

Hi, can I have some chicken please?

Football team's got first dibs on the KFC.

Game day rules.

But it looks like they already had first dibs.

Not to mention second, third, and fourths.

Hey, kid, I don't make the rules around here.

I just wear the hairnet.

Turkey coquette?

First day, huh?

Yeah. How'd you know?

Because I'm the kid that you talk to

on your first day of school,

then pretend you don't know once you make your real friends.

Name's Mokhtar, by the way.

Although, around here

I'm generally referred to as "Mokh-turd."

I'm also the photographer for theHillsider.

That's our school newspaper.

Oh, well, that must be fun.

Not really.

Well, I'm Violet.

Violet Jacobs.

Bye.

Cough, cough, kitty.

Keep that hairball down next time.

Dressed like that, I give her a month.

Okay, people. Did you see the denim?

Water.

This is flat water, you oaf.

Ugh. Oh, my God!

Melinda, what's wrong?

Someone is sitting in my seat!

What about this sign don't you understand?

Hey, this is the cafeteria.

You can't reserve tables.

That new girl is sitting in Melinda's seat!

That is so not okay.

This tray is so heavy.

Yeah, well, my mom just got carpal tunnel

from unloading the dishwasher.

So if I were you, I'd...

Take a load off?

Good idea.

Later.

Strangely enough, I think it's an improvement.

Oh, my God!

In case you want to file a lawsuit.

Is that some sort of weird hazing ritual?

No, usually after they haze you,

they let you in to their club.

I think this falls more under the heading of

"cafeteria entertainment,"

with me as the featured act.

Well, I've never heard of anything so cruel.

Tomorrow morning, I am going down to that school of yours

and having a talk.

Mom, I have enough people thinking I'm a freak.

I do not need you mounting one of your freedom protests

to the principal's office.

Violet, you cannot just sit back

and let people treat you like this.

You are a fighter. Now fight.

Easy for you to say.

You didn't just have a Jell-O cream rinse!

I have had plenty of stuff thrown at me

in the name of free speech.

I promise you,

you are gonna find your place.

Was there anyone there whodidn'tabuse you?

Mokhtar, hey.

Mokhtar?

Mokh-turd.

Oh. Hey, Violet.

Hey.

So what you doin'?

Oh, I was on my way to the school paper.

You wanna come?

Sure.

But keep it between us,

'cause it's, like, the only place around here

that isn't an A-list minefield.

I can see why nobody bothers you down here.

Where are you going?

I think I'll try Debate Club.

Hi there!

I'm Cornelia. And you are...

This is Violet.

She's interested in joining the paper.

I am?

Well, then by definition, we're interested in having her.

Ha!

Come! Walk with me.

Um...

I'll be the first to admit

that our profile isn't exactly where it should be.

But I'm working on it.

My goal is to blanket Westland Hills High