The Lowdown

You need a recommendation?

What?

Need a recommend?

No, thanks.

All right. Suit yourself.

I'm reading The Man Who Fell to Earth.

You ever read that?

-I have actually. -Hmm.

-Oh. -I'll take this.

Mmm. Nice choice.

Thanks.

My name is Dale Washberg.

Lee Raybon.

I've read your articles.

Oh, yeah?

-They're very good. -Oh, whew.

It's a brave thing, being a writer.

Putting yourself out there like that.

I'm a writer, huh?

Most people call me asshole, you know?

I consider myself more of a truthstorian.

A truthstorian?

What exactly is a truthstorian?

Well, I made it up, you know.

But you know how they say there's more to every story?

Well, that's what I try to find.

-Truthstorian. I like that. -

-It says $15. -Yeah.

I'm going to give you 20.

Oh.

Thank you very much.

Appreciate that.

"There is only one plot."

"Things are not as they seem."

Who said that?

Jim Thompson said that.

…Citizen's arrest!

Ha. Ha, ha, ha.

You come with me right now.

I'm not. I stood my ground.

He come at me with a gun.

- You killed him! - I stood my ground.

No!

I'm not the bad guy. He's the bad guy.

-Come on! -Shoot him.

No, no, no! He's a murderer!

No, don't point your gun!

He's the bad guy, not me. Hey!

Hey! Hey, hey!

-I am a federal agent… -Yeah, yeah.

…and everything is under control.

He's a security guard.

I'm undercover, asshole.

Now, I'm here to arrest this man

-on behalf of Donald Washberg. -What? Me? Me? What did I do?

-He's been harassing the future governor. - What?

He is insane and a complete asshole.

And… That's all.

-Carry on with your reading. -Yeah, yeah.

Fuck's going on?

Go get 'em.

Come on. Let's go.

- Okay. -Shh.

You fucking saved me, man.

You're like fucking Bass Reeves or some shit.

-You're incredible. Holy fuck. -Shut the fuck up!

- That was awesome. - Go!

- -

- -Fuck! Oh, shit!

-Oh, they got me! -They get you?

-Man down! Man down! -How bad? How bad?

-Oh, fuck! You're bleeding! -Oh, shit.

-You're bleeding! Oh, shit. -I'm probably dying. I'm broken.

-I need emergency surgery. -Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I got an idea. I got…

-Stop bleeding, all right? Stop bleeding. -

-Oh, shit. -

-Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Okay. -Be careful. Shit.

-Come on. -Why we in a fucking feed store?

My buddy Wendell and I used to break in to steal drugs all the time.

He was 4-H. He had a show pig with papers and everything.

I don't give a shit about no show pig.

Oh, shit.

Let it out. Get it…

- -What the fuck?

All right! All right! It's okay! It's okay!

-Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. -

All right. All right. Here we go. Here we go.

-All right. -Get me to a hospital, goddamn it!

Oh, come on. You said you didn't have time.

-Jesus. -But this is for farm animals.

Animals take medicine too. All right?

-Shit. I've been shot. -Come on. Just let me look at it.

Don't touch… You don't know shit about shit.

-Just let me look at it. All right? -No! No.

I think it's glass! All right?

-I think it's just a cut! -It's a bullet.

Yeah, all right. Well, take these. Take these.

This will help. Here you go. Here you go. It's like Advil.

-What? -It's like Advil. Come on, take it.

Is it Advil or is it like Advil?

It's like Advil, okay?

But it will take the pain away, at least till we get to town, all right?

Okay.

-All right. Calm down. -

The fuck?

"Bovine vagina muscle relaxant."

What the fuck?

It's… Come on, man. It kills the pain.

It's for cow pussy.

I know. I didn't want you to see that.

What the fuck?

-Oh, fuck. -Just come on. You're gonna be

-fine in a second, all right? -Oh, God. I'm gonna die.

-Oh, shit. -I've taken them so many times.

If you take it with a beer, it goes great.

Oh, you stupid motherfucker.

I'm not a fucking cow.

A cow is ten times my size.

-A cow's pussy's your size. -Fuck.

I'm gonna kill you, fucker.

I'm gonna fucking kill you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, yeah. You're okay.

And the cow says…

Uh-huh. Yeah, you gonna be fine.

Yeah, you're okay.

Shit. You're fine. You're fine.

-You're okay. Oh, fuck. -

The fuck's my security?

Waylon!

Okay. Come on, bud.

I got you. I got you. Let's get you inside, huh?

All right. Whoa, whoa.

Big step. Big step.

Oh, fuck.

-Yeah, okay. Okay, right here. -Okay.

You sit down right here. Right here, right here. Okay.

All right, fuck. Okay.

How you doing? Okay. All right. Uh…

-Hello, Lee. -Hi, bud.

You okay, huh?

Yeah, I feel wonderful.

-You do? -Oh, yeah.

Can I have another pill?

-No, man. No more pills for you. -Oh, fuck you.

I'm gonna get you some water, okay?

Cheap motherfucker.

What the fuck? Nazis are…

- What the fuck? -They're fucking… What the fuck?

Hey! Hold on!

Fuck you. Don't fucking talk to me.

I am so sorry. All right? I didn't think--

Yeah, you didn't fucking think!

You don't think about anybody but yourself.

-No… -No, you didn't think about Grandpa, huh?

He's the only one I had left, and now he's dead.

I told you. Leave us al…

I'm sorry. What about the land? I can help.

It belongs to you.

You don't fucking get it.

I don't give a fuck about the land.

I don't want it. I've never wanted it.

It's people like you, they want it.

-It makes you sick. -I…

And you kill people 'cause of it.

And I don't have that shit.

Eh?

Your grandfather wanted it.

He didn't want it.

-Yeah, he… He… -No, he didn't, okay?

He knew who it belonged to.

Who does it belong to?

I'm sorry.

This window's gonna cost me a fortune.

I was only trying to help.

You've got a strange way of helping people.

Oh, fuck.

I always knew I'd get shot.

Come on. You're just grazed.

With a bullet from a gun, yes.

Yeah, and I saved you.

No, you didn't.

Yes, I did. You were shot, and I saved you.

No, I-I was grazed.

Okay. When you… When you came into that church, right?

-What did you see? -Saw a bunch of guns pointed at your ass.

No, seriously, like, did you see…

No, it doesn't… …it doesn't make sense.

-No, no, what? -No, I-I thought I saw Trip Keating.

The philanthropist?

Yeah.

I mean, that's not a guy you'd expect to see in a room full of Nazis.

No, that's exactly the type of guy you expect to see in a room full of Nazis.

Fuck.

That's perfect. Like that.

I mean, you could just leave it like that.

Yeah, it's fine. Adds character. Or maybe you could put, like,

a book slot in there, you know? So people could return books.

It's not a library.