Not Dead Yet

Nell: "Estelle Dubroff,

a devoted mother and grandmother,

is survived by--" I still can't believe this--

16 children and 49 grandchildren."

How do you remember all their names?

Patience, love...

Oh. ...and name tags.

Lots of name tags.

Are you thinking of having children?

Ah, well, I-- Don't get me wrong. I love kids.

I guess I'm just in a place in my life

right now where it feels like children

might not be in the cards for me, you know?

I know. I know. I sh--

Don't let it happen!

I'm sorry. Come again?

Save your vagina!

My vagina?! Oh...

I--

Talking to my doctor. Yeah.

Wow. I was not expecting that.

16 kids.

That's 16 trips down one canal.

Ohh. Do you know what that does to your body?

For the first-- No, trust me. I have a great imagination.

But you love them, right?

Ahh. Of course.

Do you know who else I love? My nieces and nephews.

Do yourself a favor. Be an aunt.

You get all the fun stuff and none of the hard stuff.

So... you gonna send me off now or...?

Yeah. Sounds like you could use a little "me time."

Oh, yeah.

Ooh.

Attention hirelings!

Please give a warm welcome to the tallest

and most powerful presence in any space--

my father, your work father, Duncan Rhodes!

Hello, hello, my essential workers.

I have some very exciting news

about me.

It turns out that

I will be awarded

the Spirit in Journalism

Lifetime Achievement Award.

Yes! He shoots, he Duncans!

Uh, sports!

So it just goes to show

that if you work hard

and have a lot of money

and sabotage your rivals,

one day, your entire lifetime

could be an achievement

deserving of an award.

Oh, hold on. It seems Father may not be

the only one garnering some recognition.

Everyone, check your e-mails.

Oh, my God!

I've been nominated for an award!

What?

I was nominated, too!

I didn't get an e-mail.

It's, like, not even in my spam folder or anything.

Maybe I need to stand closer to the router.

So if you need me,

I'll be looking into

how to parlay this success

into a run for public office,

because remember-- sky's the limit when you're me.

Okay. Thank you.

This is so stressful. Keith is out of town,

and his mom can only handle one baby at a time,

so I need to find a sitter.

Ugh! Tell me about it. Ben is also out of town,

so we need to find a sitter.

No! Don't-- No, no! Yes, yes!

Don't-- Mnh! I never should have shared

my sitter information with you.

Yes!

Aah! Ha ha ha!

Ashley comes through for the Den-Bens.

Aw. Don't make that face.

Your sacrifice will not be forgotten.

Hey. If you need somebody to watch the kids,

Fun Aunt Nell's got a lot of fun to give.

Ooh! Yes! yes! I love this! Ha! Yes.

Okay, so, I will leave the baby with Keith's mom.

And Tilly has been feeling jealous about her baby brother,

so she could use some one-on-one time with her favorite auntie.

Perfect! Awesome!

Yeah, Till's my best bestie.

She really gets me, you know? Plus, I've been itching

for an excuse to wear that princess dress again.

Mm! Because I'm not just a godmother.

I'm her fairy godmother.

I'm gonna make her an offer she can't refuse-a.

Something tells me you've never seen "The Godfather."

Really? I-- How do you figure?

What do you think, Arthur? You like my fort?

Top-notch, huh?

A bra?

What's all this? I'm building a princess fort.

Tilly's coming over. What's all this?

Belongs to my lady friend. Would've been nice to get

a heads-up that a child was coming over.

Would've been nice to get a heads-up

that you're hooking up on our communal couch.

Disgusting. I don't love it.

Who is this person, anyway?

Can't tell you. Signed an NDA.

They're definitely famous. Come on.

Is it Selena Gomez? Judy Blume?

Martha Stewart?

Are you her new Snoop?

I appreciate you understanding

that I could woo this caliber of woman, Nell,

however I can't confirm nor can I deny

any of your assumptions.

Fine. Why do you even care that a kid's coming over?

I thought you were going out tonight with... Charlize?

Nice try. My lover's busy,

which means I will be playing "Star Rim" all night,

which also means I will be commandeering your fort.

Don't worry. Tilly and I will stay out

of your gross, sex-swept hair.

I have lots of fun activities planned

because I am Fun Aunt Nell, DJ Airhorn.

Ooh!

Hey, bestie!

Hi, bestie.

Arthur!

Thank you again for watching her on such short notice.

Don't thank me. Thank the Spirit in Journalism Committee

for failing to recognize my work.

Now, you take that shimmer eye and that sweet peach for a spin.

This one?

Eeow!

Tilly!

Alright, Princess Tillifer of the House of Tilly.

Shall we stroll the village

and grace the commoners with your presence?

Sorry, Aunt Nell. I'm not really into

this princess stuff anymore.

I think I just want to read on the couch.

Oh, okay, yeah. Reading is great, you know?

I'm into it. Let's get lit... erature.

Heh. I'm gonna go change real quick, you know?

This dress doesn't let me breathe.

Isn't this wonderful?

We're finally getting the recognition we deserve,

like Jennifer Coolidge or Brussels sprouts.

Do I have a back crease?

It's corduroy. It's one giant crease.

Look at me, though.

I'm out in the world, I am enjoying myself,

I'm on my second martini, and I am feeling--

Oh, God. No, I'm actually feeling quite nauseous.

I should slow down, hey?

Yeah, maybe slow down a little. Yeah.

Well, I am so proud of both of you.

And no matter what happens here tonight,

the fact that you were both nom--

Clap!

Oh. Who's this hottie?

Hello, Father! Yes, it's to scale!

I wish I was that thin. Isn't this exciting?

Your first Lifetime Achievement Award,

and you're 15 years younger than when Rupert got his.

You always think it's gonna be amazing

when you make your first $10 million

or you buy your second island.

But I have to tell you-- it pales in comparison

to being recognized with a sit-down dinner.

Now I know what Gandhi must have felt like

if Gandhi had a full head of hair.

Ha!

I'm better Gandhi.

Yes, you are, Father!

Clap for better Gandhi!

Okay, bestie, so I didn't find any books,

but I did find a Glamour mag that is three years old,

but I think it should probably hold up, but, um--

Uh, Tilly, is this boring man

forcing you to play some dumb game?

She wanted to play. What?

And she's been surprisingly helpful.

She found a break in the space-time continuum.

I play "Star Rim" with my dad when he's home,

so I know all the shortcuts.

But, um, wouldn't you rather do some TikTok dances?

We can even do a lift this time.

I went on a date with a chiropractor.

He taught me how to engage my core

so I won't hurt my back again.

But we're almost at the outer cosmos!

Oh, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Yeah.

Fun Aunt Nell knows how to pivot. Heh.

Here we go!

So is that an alien or just a--

Shh! Shh!