Frisky Dingo

Greetings, America.

I am Killface.

Don't bother flicking your infernal remotes.

I've taken over your airwaves.

Now, I trust you're all comfy on your tacky sofas from "Rooms To Go"?

Lots of nibbles close at hand?

Well, tuck in,

and why not smoke between gobbles?

Yes, go for the gusto, America.

Live like there's no tomorrow,

because as far as you squalid lot are concerned,

there very much isn't.

Behold the instrument of your doom.

I call it the "Annihilatrix,"

and when it is completed,

a million gigatons of thrust

will propel the Earth directly into the sun.

So look upon my works, ye mighty and despair.

Ahem.

Um--

What? What?

Shall we do it again?

It's fine.

It's fine, OK? It's fine.

Thank you.

14 takes is plenty, believe me. That's a lot.

I went a little off the page with that last line there.

Yeah, no, we picked up on that.

Is that cool?

Yes, it's fine.

Ozymandias just felt right, you know?

- Uh-huh. Did it. - Oh, God.

- What? - You don't think it's copyrighted?

What?

- The Shelley. - Who?

Ozymandias, the poem by Shelley.

Who? That receptionist chick?

Depends when she wrote it.

Shelley was a man, you philistine.

- It's fine. Cheesy crust,

where on earth did you go to school?

USC Film School.

Maybe you heard of it?

And we're happy with this background?

Yes, we're happy with it, OK?

- It's not too-- No.

Leno-y?

If you want to be Leno-y, we could have you come down here

and you can do high-fives.

We can put a wig with a gray streak in your face!

We can have you read off cue cards!

We'll put Kevin Eubanks over there on guitar!

I shouldn't have said that.

Aah!

That's my twin brother!

I want it to be perfect.

Iitis. It is. Seriously, man, it's really awesome.

- You're awesome. - Val?

Uh--

Well, if Val's happy, I'm happy,

so theme song and let's run it.

Oh, we need a theme song.

OK, um...

'Dadadadun?

Uh... - What?

- You mean, run it where? What do you mean, where?

On what thing would we have it to run?

I want this in every single television in the world.

OK, well, do you have $20 b--billion?

Yes, Brent, as a matter of fact, I do.

Would you care to see it?

There's your 20 billion, Brent.

Drink it in.

The fusion chamber alone cost 9 billion,

the thruster's another 4.

You think there's just heaps of money left over

for--what did you call it?

Uh...media buy.

- Media buy. Please don't kill us.

Please don't make it so appealing.

What do you want us to do, man?

Well, why don't we ask good old Trent?

Please don't do that. Let's not. Let's not. Oh, God!

Ladies and gentlemen, Trent.

Hey, how you doing? Good to be here.

Oh, dude, put him down!

So, uh, heard you went to the--

went to the doctor

and he had a bit of bad news for you, is that right?

Yeah. Turns out I have termites.

You're losing them, boss.

Well, I hope you can still sing a song while I drink some water.

Come on, man.

You're horrible.

Turn around!

OK, turn back around. I've got it now.

Oh!

Oh!

Because I don't know how to change the ring on this tele--hello?

Sir? It's Phil. We've got another problem up here.

I'm on the way. Valerie!

I want you to come over here

and make out with Trent.

Just, you know,

really back that thing up on him.

Brent, let's take a ride.

I'm trying to get Cat Party on there.

Ahh!

Wait, no!

No, no, no!

Silence, dog.

He's from marketing. Phil, Brent. Brent, Phil.

Now what the deuce is wrong with those couplings?

- Well, they keep melting. - Oh.

- Oh, did Lorraine get the gift card? - Yes, she did.

- That was very nice of you, sir. - Nonsense, Philip.

- How's she doing? - Uh, she's still, well, fat.

Well, give it some time, man.

Phil's wife just had a little baby girl.

- Great. 6 months ago.

- Phil, positive reinforcement. - Yes, sir.

And speaking of, with the couplings,

can we just blah-blah, reroute them?

Uh-um, that should work. It's gonna cost some more.

Talk to Charlene, get a P.O. number and get it done.

Will do, Mr. K.

- And seriously-- - Yes, sir?

Lorraine needs to know you still find her desirable.

- Yes, sir. - Because God knows I do. I'm kidding.

- Get out of here. - Outside two and "o0."

- You see, Brent, we all have jobs to do. - Great, there goes my pen.

My job is to complete the Annihilatrix

and destroy mankind by driving this vile planet straight into the sun.

- Wait. I have another idea. Listen. - And your job is to market it.

No, listen, we can get Jason Alexander.