South Park

Dude, I wonder where Kyle is.

Maybe he caught a disease and died. That'd be so awesome.

Dude that's not funny. You shouldn't joke about that.

-(Yeah.) -Who's joking?

You guys! You guys! I have awesome news!

You have AIDS?

No. This Saturday, for my birthday, my Mom says she's takin' me to Casa Bonita, in Denver,

...and I get to invite three friends!.

Wow! Casa Bonita?!

What's Casa Bonita?

Dude, haven't you ever been there?!

It's a big Mexican restaurant where they have, like, cliff jumpers and Black Bart's Cave and all kinds of stuff!

It's like the Disneyland of Mexican restaurants.

This Saturday! Awesone!

Casa Bonita! Casa Bonita! Food and fun in a festive atmosphere. Casa Bonita!

Who said I'm inviting you?

You... your Mom said you could take three friends.

Yes. Three friends. You're not my friend.

Wuh ih uh... Weh come on, Kyle, who the hell else are you gonna take besides Stan and Kenny?

I'm gonna take Butters. He invited me to his birthday party last month, so I owe him one.

Butters?! You're gonna take THAT butthole?! Why?!

Because Butters isn't a total dick to me!

I have never been a dick to you.

Oh please! All you ever do is call me names and rip on me for being Jewish!

Kyle, when have I ever ripped on you for being a Jew?

Oh yeah?! Well you're a stupid Jew!

You're a Jew!

Shut your God-damned Jew mouth!

Good job, Jew!

Jew...

Shutup Jew!

You're Jewish!!

Dude, he's Jewish!

Jew!

Jew!

Jew!

Jew!

Jew!

Jew!

Jew?!

-I told you Jewish people don't have rhythm. -Fuck off, Cartman

Okay, except maybe for that one time.

You've always been a dick to me, Cartman, and I'm not inviting you.

Kyle, you don't understand! Casa Bonita is my most favorite place in the whole world.

I'll just, I'll just die if you don't take me! Please!

Sorry, my mind's made up.

Well fuck you, Kyle!! I don't wanna go to your faggy birthday party anyway!

I'd much rather hang out at home than have to be around you and your Jew mom for a day!

Kiss my ball, asshole!!

Dude, I totally didn't mean that, Kyle.

Ah I really really wanna go to Casa Bonita.

I'm sorry we had that fight just now.

You know, I mean, I said some things, you said some things, but, I think it was good and we we've moved past it.

I'm not inviting you to Casa Bonita.

Well fuck you, Kyle!! I hope you die! I hope you fucking die!

Casa Bonita! Come on, you guys!

Oh, awesome!!

Come on, you guys! Black Bart's Cave!

Wow, cliff divers!

More sopapillas, please!

I'm not inviting you, Cartman. You can't go.

No! Noooo! Casa Bonita! Noooo!

Oh... God-damnit, I have to get invited to go! I'm just gonna have to start being nice to Kyle!

Hi Kyle.

That isn't it, Cartman.

What isn't it?

That's not being nice! That's just putting on a nice sweater!

...I don't understand the difference.

I know you don't.

Jimmy! Hey Jimmy, wait up!

Dude, uh I need your help on something.

Well, sure, Eric. W-w-waht seems to be the p-p-p-prrroblem?

Well, everybody likes you, Jimmy, a-and you seem to be really good with people, so,

I was wondering if you could tell me, how "do" you act nice to people?

Well, the best thing is not to act nice, Eric. Uh, the best thing is to be genuinely nice.

Okay, so how do you act genuinely nice to people?

Well, Eric, pah part of being nice is just making people smile and laugh.

The best way to do that is by telling a fan-tastic joke or a humorius anti-d- ant'duhh ...antecdote.

Like what?

Well, like, try this one on for size: Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ing-mar ...Bergman.

Now you say, "Ingmar Bergman who?"

Take that, Jimmy! And that! And don't you ever talk bad about Kyle again!

Kyle is my friend! And if you say you had sex with his mom one more time,

I'm gonna really let you have it! You hear me?!

Oh, Kyle. Hey.

Do you really think that beating up a handicapped kid is being nice?

Uh... He-hey Kyle! Knock knock. Knock knock, Kyle!

Yeah, Casa Bonita, this Saturday!

Wow, that's gonna be so fun!

Yeah, it'll be awesome. Just the four of us.

Hey Kyle.

Well?

Well what?

How are you going to try to get invited to Casa Bonita this time?

I'm not, Kyle. I know you already told Butters he could go.

Oh. Well... yeah. I, I did.

So, fine, Kyle, but honestly, I never meant to make you feel like you didn't matter at all to me.

I know we argue all the time and I give you tons of crap, but we've also been through a, a lot together, and...

maybe that alone doesn't make us friends, but it makes us something.

So, ...whatever, you know, just... ah I hope... things will be cool.

I'm still not inviting you to Casa Bonita.

I know, Kyle. I'll see ya later.

Eh... hey, Cartman?

You really don't care that you can't go?

I care, sure, but I hope it doesn't mean you and me and Stan and Kenny can't hang out anymore.

That's exactly what I wanted to hear from you all along.

Ah uh I still have to take Butters, but... I hope things can be cool too.

Good.

And, and hey, if for some reason Butters can't go to Casa Bonita, you can take his place.

Sweet, whatever.

Bingo!

What's this all about, Eric?

Butters, can you keep a secret?

Well, sure I can!

For the past five days I've been looking out into space for a school project.

This morning, at 3:45 a.m. I... caught first sight of something terrible.

Nnn-how terrible?

A meteor. A meteor the size of Wyoming, heading right for earth.

What??

Now look, ah I could be wrong. I ...pray that I'm wrong, but,

I just want you to take a look and... see what you think.

Do you see anything?

I just see stars.

Keep looking. Sometimes it takes your eyes a minute to adjust.

Nope, uh I don't see any...

Oh wait. Oh my God! I see it. I see it! It's a meteor! Oh my God!

Oh my God! Does it look like it's getting closer?

It is! It is getting clsoer! Oh my God!

Oh my God! That meteor is the size of Wyoming and it's on a collision course for Earth.

When do you think uh it'll get here?

I, I don't know, I, have to do some calculations.

10 to the power of 1 base 9 divided by pi plus 5 minus 3.

-Oh Jesus. -What??

According to my calculations, that meteor is going to hit Earth in less than four hours.

Oh, you mean we're gonna die?!

No! No, Butters, we are going to live! Do you hear me?! We are going to live!

We just... We've gotta find a bomb shelter!

Wha...? Where is there a bomb shelter??

Stan's Uncle Jimbo! He has a bomb shelter in his back yard! Come on, Butters! Hurry!

-Here we go! The bomb shelter's down here! -Oh God! Oh Jesus!

All right, we should be safe in here.

This dried food and water should last us for weeks.

But what about everyone else? I have to tell my parents so they can come here, too.

No! Butters! I can't let you risk it. I'll go up and get the others.

Are you sure?

I'm not sure of anythng anymore.

Now Butters, listen: No matter what happens, no matter what you hear, do not come out!

If I don't make it back in time with the others, then it will be up to you to repopulate the Earth.

But I'm the only one down here. What am I supposed to repopulate with?

Well, you know, with your wiener.

Just stay down here until you hear word from me.

And... pray, Butters... pray for all mankind.

Oh God, oh God!

Where is Butters? We were supposed to leave here forty minutes ago.

Well I think we better just go without him, Kyle. It's getting late.

Yeah, screw him. Let's go. Oh, finally!

Happy Birthday, Kyle. I just wanted to stop by and give you your present.

Oh. Thanks, dude.

Hope you have a good one. See you later.

Oh wait. Cartman.

Yes?

Uh Butters didn't show. You wanna go to Casa Bonita with us?

Butters didn't show?

I I can't believe it. Uh are you sure you told him the right time and everything?

I told him 5:30 and we gotta get going. You in?

Well I... really would need to go home first and get my...

Weh no no, I guess I have everything I need. Oh, okay, sure.

All right, let's go.

Okay, boys. Get in the car.

Casa Bonita, here we come!

Oh, hello Chris, Linda.

Hello everyone. Have any of you seen our son?

Butters was supposed to go with us to Casa Bonita tonight.

We know, but... he hasn't been home since last night.

The police have been looking everywhere, but...

Well, thank you. Uh, please, let us know if you find out anything.

Aw dude, weak.

Yeah. Man, that sucks about Butters. Well, let's get going, shall we?

Nah. Dude, I c-I can't go to have a birthday party while Butters is missing.

Yeah, it's kinda weird.

Ee-yeah yeah. I think you're right, but, on the other hand,

I think Butters would want us to go. You know Butters...

Nah, I can't. We should help look for him.

Yeah.

That's very good of you, boys. We can postpone Casa Bonita until next Saturday.

Next Saturday?? I'll never be able to keep Butters in the...

In the... depths of my heart for that long.

I sure hope he... turns up before then.

Dude, we should check over at Stark's Pond. Butters always hangs out over there.

Yeah. And then we can try the football field.

I'll drive you boys.

Oh, God-damnit! How am I gonna keep Butters down in that bomb shelter for a whole week?!