The Tick

Superheroes are people, too.

We put our supersuits on one leg at a time.

We look both ways before taking a mighty leap.

If you prick us, some of us even bleed.

Jesus Jumped-Up Christ.

Like regular folk, heroes need friends.

Some of us may have sidekicks, or teammates,

or intelligent watercraft.

But when the chips hit the fan,

we all make decisions alone

in the solitudinary fortress of our head-noodle.

It's these lonesome choices

that mark the difference between a hero

and an average cup of joe.

Afternoon, General.

Your Very Large Man is getting closer

to civilization every day.

- He has a name, General. - Huh.

Clifford Richter.

Any chance you could get Cliff

to stop walking before things escalate?

The only escalation I see happening is

your people pulling up stakes and moving back a hundred miles.

We established a perimeter here for a reason.

If he moves past...

I get it. You've drawn your line in the sand.

That man out there is a civilian,

and I'll do everything in my power to protect him.

If you fire on him, you fire on me.

And that doesn't end well for one of us.

Excuse me.

Got an interview with ESHPN in ten minutes

and a teleconference with the brass at AEGIS in 12.

I could reschedule if you're gonna bite their heads off, too.

I'll apologize to the general later.

I'm not feeling quite myself today.

Since when do you get headaches?

Since never.

Oh, that tastes like cancer.

Oh.

Mmm. Pumpkin spice. How do you do that?

Guys, looks like your prisoner

is waking up.

Good. Time to bring the pain.

Your friend here is made entirely of mind snakes.

We need to go now.

Tick, are you kidding me? That's...

We're making progress for the first time ever.

I mean, look at this place.

Well, I am state-of-the-art.

Overkill wants to make a murder salad

- out of your hero's journey. - Oh, come on.

He doesn't want to make a "murder salad."

Help! He's killing me!

Please, please, please, oh, please.

Please don't let him hurt me.

Okay, fine.

You want to play ball, Ramses?

I'll promise that no one hurts you, okay?

Aah! That hurt.

Dirty pool.

Hey, hey, hey! What did you just do to him?

Oh, my God.

I've got meningitis now, I-I can feel it.

Relax. I just gave you a shot of sodium Amber Thiessen.

You're gonna tell us where The Terror is now, aren't you, egg?

I will tell you anything you want, just-just don't get up...

Well, we've got the Hot Dish Cook-Off coming up,

and that is a countywide competition,

so of course, Mother's a little nervous.

Jiminy Christmas.

He's pumped that little shaver full of crazy juice.

Are you on any prescription drugs?

Lipitor? Prozac?

- Viagra? - Uh...

There might be some counter-indications.

Should I call 911?

He's fine.

He should be fine.

Whoa! Secret face.

Don't talk about my face.

Okay. Ramses. Ramses? Hey.

Listen here, okay? Look at me.

Where is The Terror?

In your heart. It's in the heart of every man.

Not terror, The Terror.

Oh, The Terror.

Yeah, sure.

He's holed up under the Sacred Mother

of Infinite Misery Church.

Sacred Mother of Infinite Misery... - Got it.

Yep. He's dug in real good.

Oh, my God.

We got him.

You died.

I saw it. I...

Superian hammered your spider-tank into the ground.

Trickery.

You exploded.

Wasn't there.

I... They found your teeth.

Always been handy with the pliers.

I needed elbow room, Janet.

I needed Superian to believe... I was dead.

You needed to make me believe it, too?

You were my right hand, Janet.

Everyone knew it.

You out there mourning my death...

really sold the message, you know?

Made it real.

It was real.

To me, it was real.

And those suckers just ate it right up!

Ha!

Anything to drink in this dump?

Sacred Mother of Infinite Misery Church

is sitting on a massive maze of catacombs and sewer tunnels.

It's a perfect hiding place for The Terror's stronghold.

I can't believe, after all these years, that I finally found him.

He's in there, all right.

We need to do some on-site recon

before we set up an attack.

- What kind of attack? - Wait, wait, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no. We're not going in there.

We can do this.

You, me, big blue freak.

We have the shot to take The Terror out.

You have zero exit strategy; it's suicide.

Revenge needs no exit strategy.

No... we need no exit strategy, okay?

Because what we're gonna do is just blow the whistle on him.

Okay? That plan has a hundred percent chance of success,

zero percent chance of death.

We're taking Ramses to AEGIS.

Yeah.

Those stapler-fondling bureaucrats?

- Yeah. - They'll drown you in red tape.

They'll file your file

under "where the fuck is that fucking file?"

You're not even a super, they won't listen to you.

Well, I have Ramses.

Huh?

And Ramses is proof that The Terror is still alive.

They can't ignore me this time.

Kid, this is your moment.

You need to spill The Terror's blood.

What Arthur needs is justice.

No, what I need is to go tell them, okay?

I am not done with him.

Listen here, GunSkull-17, this is not your case.

This is my case, okay?

I'm the one who did all the research,

I'm the one who figured it out, and I'm the one

who needs to take Ramses to AEGIS.

- So let him go. - No.

Tick?

I think that's my cue

to get you to mind your Ps and carrots, mister.

Get up.

Come on.

You'll be back.

Oh, I very much doubt that.

- Don't touch that. - Already did.

Almond milk? Huh.

All this time, you've been alive

and hiding and, what, laughing at me?

Hmm. This is repulsive.

You drink this?

- No. - Look.

You think you're mad at me.

But you're just mad at yourself.

You should've known I was too smart to die.

You should've read the signs, had a little faith.

So, now you're kicking your butt

'cause all this time I've been waiting for you to come find me.

- Right. - Of course I was.

I've been watching you.

I have.

Really?

Hey, Janet, did you, uh,

leave out my almond...?

Oh, my God.

Is that Derek?

He's my ex-husband.

I.T. Derek?

The Derek that set up the Wi-Fi

in my old lair Derek?

- You killed him. - Did I?

No, that's just the platypus venom.

He'll seizure it off in about an hour. -Hmm.

Look, he's foaming.

That's a good sign.

You married Derek?

I was not in a good place.

It was, it was after you and... hmm.

I thought you were following my every move.

I tried... at first.

Ah, you got so boring so fast, I don't know.

Mom?

Upstairs, honey.