The Magicians

Previously on "The Magicians"...

You know, it should have worked.

The spell we did to contact my brother.

I mean, I went over it, like, a million times.

Wait, you don't want to try it again, do you?

- No! No! No! - I bind you!

I bind you!

Why did you think that you had to save me?

He was gonna kill you.

I'm done here, for good. You should be happy.

When are you gonna tell me what all this is for?

Bigger, better magic.

Let's go steal their shit.

He's not gonna wake up ever.

Marina is a psycho.

You think Brakebills cut you off from magic?

Ow!

You don't know cut off.

But you can actually move between worlds.

If the gift does not kill you first.

Please, help me.

I have a full schedule today, Quentin.

- What? - Uh, I just, um...

The point?

What's gonna happen to Julia?

Ah, yes.

Your hedge witch friend.

I'm going to kill her.

I, uh...

I'm...

I'm fucking with you, Quentin.

I'm not going to do anything to her.

I thought you would erase her memory or something... again.

Sure, then her buddies tell her about magic all over again.

Then she bothers me again.

So she's just gonna get away with it?

I'm not the magic police, Quentin.

They won't be back here.

They know what'll rain down on them if they do.

What they do out there, it's not my business;

it's not yours. Do you understand?

Don't you worry, Hedge witches tend

to crash and burn quite quickly all on their own.

I want the spells I'm missing so I can keep going.

I want the new ones she stole because I helped her.

- You're not coming inside. - Then bring 'em out.

They're locked in her filing cabinet,

and even if I could, I wouldn't.

I don't want to see you get hurt,

and Marina will hurt you.

She only helped you get out of Brakebills jail to save herself.

Next time, you will not be so lucky.

That's bullshit.

I earned that magic just as much as her.

Fuck, more.

- It was my friend that she used... - Your friend!

Look, Marina's the boss. Life ain't fair.

Woe is you. Now, please,

leave before she sees you here.

Think of it as applying for an internship,

and for outgoing students, perhaps even a job.

Alumni come and choose students to mentor.

I can understand why you've been staying here, Alice.

I know you feel that you've had to leave,

but I'd really like you to come back.

This is just one small corner of the world.

There's a lot more out there to see,

and I'd like you to see it.

I don't much like the corners

that I've already seen.

Alice, students leave every year,

and I don't go searching for every lost lamb.

You didn't invite me.

I had to sneak in just to take the entrance exam.

I made a mistake.

I felt responsible for what happened to your brother,

and I didn't want to cause your family another loss.

Alice, I was wrong.

You are far too gifted not to be with us.

Just come back for a week,

and if you don't like it, then, please, by all means,

be a farmhand.

This year, we're going to win the alumni week Hunger Games.

My mentor last year was a nun. Never again.

I specialize in feet.

Broken bones, warts... I have some very interesting stuff

for fungi of the toenail.

99% of these mentors

lead to a lifetime of soporific bourgeois magic hell.

Alice.

You're, uh...

Hi.

I'm going to get a drink.

- Is Genji your aunt? - Oh, hey, Alice.

- Is that Genji? - Do you guys know her?

Everyone does. She runs a retreat.

It's like Camp David for magicians.

If Camp David was run by Caligula.

I mean that in the best way.

- Excuse me. - Wa...

I feel really terrible about, um...

I just thought... I wouldn't be standing here talking to me

if I were you.

I don't...

I shouldn't blame you.

The truth is, my brother died five years ago.

Still, I...

I should go help her.

Can anybody hear me?

Anybody?

Anybody?

Ah.

Penny.

I'm Stanley.

I'm your mentor.

Yeah, I didn't ask for a mentor.

I don't give a shit.

You are what you are, so I'm here.

What, a Pisces?

Travelers are rare.

Hadn't been one at Brakebills

in 35 years, I guess.

There's no discipline

that has more power and possibility.

I get it. It's an amazing gift.

It's a terrible, life-destroying burden.

I zapped myself onto Mount Everest.

Lost my leg to frostbite.

I'd be dead if not for one

deeply confused Sherpa.

Had the lecture yet on

sticking with astral projection?

I don't watch "Star Trek."

Travelers' training wheels.

Your body stays here; your mind travels.

It's like being a ghost.

Meditating

won't stop you from having a wet dream

and waking up in the Marianas Trench.

This will.

It works by binding your body to Earth.

Astral projection only.

Full stop.

Won't make the voices go away,

but it might keep you alive.

How could you know about all this and become a podiatrist?

This isn't Middle Earth, Quentin.

There aren't enough noble quests to go around.

Impress a good mentor, and you won't have to worry.

How am I supposed to impress anyone?

Mm, when you're not impressive?

Glad you asked.

Welters.

- What's Welters? - The worst.

It's a game designed a billion years ago

to keep students from killing each other in duels.

It's like chess.

Kind of. Not really.

You use magic to take squares. It's terrible.

I don't know. That sounds kind of fun.

- It's boring as death. - You're boring.

- You're boring. - There's gonna be a tournament.

It's supposed to be a surprise, but I like ruining things.

Each discipline fields a team,

and the mentors will be watching,

so don't screw this up for me.

Quentin.

Someone called the admin office and left a message.

My dad's sick.

S01E05 Mendings, Major and Minor

Hello, Curly Q.

Hey, Dad.

It's brain cancer,

but it's the good kind of brain cancer.

Is there anything you can do?

Well, luckily there are some treatment options,

some, uh, really interesting new therapies.

Um, do you...

Uh, do you feel sick?

Eh, I feel...

decent.

Eh, there was some dizziness, headaches.

That's why I went in.

- Does Mom know? - No, she does not.

As yet, I, uh...

I could come up with a reason, I suppose,

but the truth is, I just...

I just don't want to talk to her.

I'm worried about you.

You have brain cancer, and you're worried about me?

Will you stop saying "brain cancer"

like it's brain cancer?

I never see you anymore

since you went to this new school.

Thinking a lot about mistakes,

you know, things I would do differently.

Quentin, by the time you were ten years old,

buddy, I couldn't sit through one more card trick,

but if that's what makes the world bearable to you,

then you go off and do card tricks.