Maria the Virgin Witch (純潔のマリア)

My story is set in the olden days,

when we of France were still at war with England.

There was a young witch living near our village,

who hated wars with every beat of her fiery heart.

Her name was Maria.

The same as the Blessed Mother,

and just like her holiest of namesakes.

Maria was a virgin.

The die is cast.

Her actions have led her to this moment.

Maria!

You will unhand her!

If you don't, your head is next!

Child of God,

your bolts are but feathers to me.

You picked a bad time to be brave.

Why do you think he's glowing like that?

He's the Archangel Michael.

Huh?

Archangel Michael?

You're the Archangel?

You fired in haste, not knowing who I was.

Forgive him his violence against your messenger, Lord.

Tell me, mortal.

Why defend this witch who flouts the will of Heaven?

Maria saved everybody!

So please, don't do anything bad to her!

She makes medicine for my grandmother,

and protected Papa when he went away to war!

Please, Saint Michael!

I should be dead, but she brought an end to the carnage!

Many yet live because Maria intervened!

She has meddled with the world's balance,

and for that, the witch Maria must be punished.

Truly?

Then that is the will of Heaven?

Stop it already! Take the girl and run away!

Very well.

Then, devil take the will of Heaven!

Jesus said to love thy neighbor.

I swear to you, with God as my witness!

That I do love the witch, Maria!

Huh?

Blessings, in the guise of rain fall upon

the devout and damnéd alike.

Almighty God has rendered His judgment.

This creature of iniquity shall keep her life.

In exchange, you are banned henceforth

from practicing significant magic

in the presence of the masses.

Also, whenever you surrender your virginity

your sins shall be atoned for in that moment,

by the loss of your powers evermore.

Huh?!

Ezekiel, come forth.

Behold. Ezekiel.

My all-seeing proxy.

Tread you carefully.

For now your own happiness is the coin

by which that of others can be ransomed.

-- Maria! -- Lady Maria!

Hey, are you all right?

I'm fine, thank you, Ann.

What happened to those mercenaries?

Oh. We handed them--

We handed them over to Lord Prevot.

The village is safe again.

C'est bon. It's all so hazy.

What did Michael drone on about?

You should have paid attention.

His terms were simple.

What a cutie!

And you are?

Her name's Ezekiel.

I guess this is her usual form.

Listen carefully, witch, for I shall only say this once.

Michael hath decreed.

Your days of halting battles on a whim are over.

If you wish to use your magic thus,

you must do it at the cost of your own pleasure.

One or the other. It's only fair.

Wait a damn minute! You're telling me,

I lose my magic as soon as I've lost you-know-what?!

Virginity. That's right.

No!

If that's the case, then I'm doomed!

I will die an old maid, having never known the love of a man!

Uh, Lady Maria.

-- -- Huh?

Shouting about private matters like that.

I can't say I'm surprised.

OW! Hey, what was that-- Aah!

How dare you treat me so outrageously?

I am Saint Michael's trusted--

I swear to you.

That I do love the witch, Maria!

All right! That's enough!

I want the three of you to get along!

Master, we're birds of prey.

Yeah, well it's all Michael's

fault for saddling you with a stupid dove.

This place is a madhouse! Go!

Lose your virginity already, so I can go back to where I belong!

Hey, it's my virginity!

And why is it tied to the loss of my magic?

Don't forget the rest of it.

Dare to use your powers in public and Saint Michael's

spear will strike you where you stand.

Many have tried to dodge it--

Hey! Stop it!

Sorry, Master. I couldn't help it.

I know you told us to get along, but she's really vexing me!

I've a hunch that my human form

could teach yours a thing or two.

I could teach you a thing or two,

if only I had a thing with which to teach.

What?

Oh, just leave her alone.

I think you should be getting more than your fill at night.

Really? Who have I filled?

Oh, please. You'll get your shot!

If I look down and see nothingness

one more time, I'll go crazy!

--I need it, okay? I need penis! --

I know you know what they look like now!

There was that one last night! Gods, it was monstrous!

Like that serpent you summoned!

Oh, shut up!

Mon Dieu.

You take that maypole in all its

meaty glory and put it on me right now--

Get to the hearth and whip up a

thank-you meal for Ann and Joseph already!

So, then, there is truth to the rumors.

By the Blesséd Mother.

When next she appears, I must tell Brother Bernard.

All right. The food's ready.

We have to say grace!

Let us pray.

Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts,

which we are about to receive from

your bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen.

In the name of the Father,

and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Ah, sorry.

Just something we do before we eat.

Hmph.

Say, Maria?

Hm?

Are you a heretic?

Huh?

Master's as heretical as they come.

The bishop told us about them.

He said that they're really naughty, and not to become one.

He said that if a girl has short hair,

or goes around with her legs uncovered,

she's definitely a heretic.

Anything you want to tell us, Ezekiel?

I rank among the angels of Heaven.

Your rules have no bearing whatsoever on my attire.

If Maria goes to town, would they be mean?

They'd give her a warm welcome.

One with a stake.

Let them judge me.

I am the master of my own fate.

No, you're not.

Looking like that, they'd set you on fire next.

No human can lay a finger on me.

I have powers from Heaven that would keep me safe.

All right!

Use them to stop the war then.

Huh?

You're not a witch.

Do it with the power of Heaven, and all should be well.

If the bloodshed is brought to an end,

I don't much care by whose hand it happens.

It's true we keep watch over the deeds of mankind,

but not for reasons of intervention.

Lady Ezekiel.

I am young, it's true,

but I have never known a France without war.

My elders speak of peace, but to one such as I,

it may as well be a fairy-tale.

I had hoped that our woes might move

the heavens to pity, but I guess I was wrong.

So be it.

But at the least, grant us something.

A sign of some kind, to salve our pain.

Have faith.

I do.

In Lady Maria.

You tell me she's at odds with God,

but I see nothing in her deeds worthy of this angelic censure.

Hmph.

Let it be.

It's not her call to make.

Michael has spoken.