Four Weddings and a Funeral

Previously on Four Weddings and a Funeral...

You won't have to work double shifts anymore.

I'm gonna take care of you. Both of you.

- Hey, guys. - How was your honeymoon?

Were you at a nudist colony?

No, this was just Heathrow before we left.

Fatim and I broke up.

Turns out she's in love with this guy.

Huh?

I like you.

I'd be mad at myself if I let you walk away

without telling you how I feel.

- I'm sorry. - I just can't.

You may have been brave once, but now you only help

rich, old white people.

I just hate that people might think I'm the bad guy.

I'd like to personally fund the renovations

of this whole theater.

I'm glad you came tonight, Tony.

You're someone worth remembering.

You gave me the courage to act again.

I'm happy, and it's all because of you.

Well, I should head home.

Can I walk you?

It's, like, ten miles away.

Let's see how far we get.

Okay.

So you've lived in London for several months,

and you still haven't had proper fish and chips?

I guess I'm rarely hungry for two kinds of grease at the same time.

Okay, we need to remedy this.

That's like going to America and not being in a competition

with your friends to lose your virginity.

What?

- I haven't been. - I just watch films.

I wish my dad would remarry.

I know he doesn't want me to feel responsible for his happiness,

but how can I not?

Oh, you're lucky.

My dad's very clear that I'm solely responsible for his happiness.

"Kashif, why is it not called Goldman, Sachs, and Kahn?

Can you ask? It would mean so much to me."

Okay, I know I've said this a million times,

but I really should head home.

Yeah, I guess we've been talking since yesterday.

And we're two blocks from your house.

Huh.

- Okay, um... - Okay.

- Bye. - Bye.

Can I see you again?

I don't know. I-I want to, but what about Ainsley?

Am I just gonna destroy our friendship

to date someone I hardly know?

So let's get to know each other.

We don't have to date. We can just hang out.

No, no, no, no, no.

I used to hang out with my married boss.

I promise you this will be totally platonic.

I just think we owe it to ourselves

and to whatever this is

to spend a little more time together.

That's all I'm asking.

Like we're researching

to test the hypothesis that we should be together?

- Exactly. - See?

You've already made it sound very unsexy.

So...

can I see you again?

Okay, but we're not going anywhere romantic,

and I'm gonna dress like I'm on my period.

Deal.

Okay.

- Bye. - Bye.

Were you with Kash last night?

Tony 2 texted me that you were at a play with Kash.

Yeah, um, Marcus got Andrew

to fund this community theater, and Kash was randomly involved.

That's so weird.

Why didn't you tell me?

I just... I didn't want to upset you.

I would have told you not to go.

I know, and I had to.

You know, this was Marcus's project,

and he worked really hard on it.

I'm sorry, I thought you hated Marcus.

Since when do you care about him?

No, I...

I mean, I-I guess I did at first,

but then he, you know, kind of grew on me over time.

Like, you know when we first met Craig?

Yeah.

Did Kash look bad?

- Yeah. - Yes.

Really bad. I think he's losing his hair.

Good.

Morning.

Oh, you're awake.

Did you have a good sleep?

Mm, quite...

until you poked me.

So what are we doing today?

"We"?

You mean you're staying?

I had hoped to, unless you want me to leave.

Well, I-I want you to stay.

It's just, um, I don't know what to do.

Most of my relationships don't get this far.

Okay, well, there's no need

to send out the wedding invitations just yet.

Why don't we, um...

Why don't we start with a cup of tea?

- Oh, that sounds nice. - I'd love one.

As would I.

- Oh, of course. - I'll put the kettle on.

So, Nigel, it's nice to meet you.

Zara says you're the most expensive publicist that contacted her.

Guilty.

I told Zara, when she walks in here, she'll be a woman.

But when she walks out, she'll be a brand.

But we have to act fast. Right now you're white-hot.

But reality fame doesn't last long.

I mean, we've already forgotten about Cazzandra.

Who's that?

She happens to be the winner of Stripper Party.

She also happens to be my wife.

You need to think about how to monetize your brand.

What product would you like to endorse?

Mm, a car that can fly.

More like a product that exists.

Wine, shapewear, yogurt to help you poop.

Who is Zara?

And more importantly, what does she sell?

Andrew, you can't vote yes on this immigration bill.

Calm down, Che Guevara.

Even with my vote, it won't pass.

So you just want to be on the wrong side of history for fun?

This is politics.

Only by voting for this bill

can I gain the support I need for my passion project.

- And what is that? - Elbow-patch preservation?

A retirement home for foxhounds?

No. Restoring Britain's historic bridges.

Did you know that the girders of Blackfriars Bridge

haven't been scrubbed since the Great Smog of 1952?

And for that you're willing to ruin the lives

of thousands of innocent immigrants?

No, but I'm willing to pretend that I am.

What's next?

You have been invited to the royal debut of Lady Elaine

at the Chelsea Physic Garden.

RSVP for one?

- Oh, yes. - Uh... uh, wait.

No, uh, I will be bringing a guest...

Tony, my boyfriend.

Wait, you're dating Tony 2?

And he knows?

Yes.

Why is it so hard to believe that I have a boyfriend?

I am a member of Parliament, and I have my original hair.

Okay, uh, I will RSVP for two.

Mm.

I'm sure Lady Elaine will be as thrilled for you as I am.

Well, Lady Elaine is an orchid.

- I can't with this country. - I...

- That's brilliant. - Thank you.

Hey, did you know it's bad to buy blood diamonds?

Yeah, dude. The word "blood" didn't tip you off?

Are Bloody Marys bad?

What am I supposed to drink for brunch?

- You're right. - That's exactly the same thing.

What are you reading?

Researching for our African equities presentation.

- Oh, shit. - When is that, again?

- Dude. - Dude, you forgot about it?

Sorry. Look, I know I've been distracted with the play,

but I promise I will get my head back in the game

and get started on that presentation... tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

A casting director who saw me in The Sound of Music got me an audition.

- Oh! - That's amazing!

What... what's it for? What, Star Wars? What?

A Marvel movie?

TV commercial for depression medicine.

- Just as cool. - Right?

Yeah, yeah, that... that's just as cool.

I can't stay long.

I have to drive Duffy back to Peath

after he's finished tutoring Giles.

He gets bullied by teens when he takes the train.

Hmm. Hey, is there a book of fabric samples over there?

- No. - Oh, damn it.

I think I left it at Bryce's.

- So pick it up. - You're always over there.

No, things are sort of...

weird with us right now.

Why?

Did he realize your rustic chic style

is mostly overpriced junk from the flea market?

- No. - Do you think that?

No, of course not.