Wanda Sykes: Legacy

Ladies and gentlemen, Hampton University.

Welcome home, Ms. Wanda Sykes.

Please, please take a seat.

Thank you, Hampton. Thank y'all so much.

I love y'all. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Thank you so much.

I'm home, y'all.

This is amazing. It's… It's good to be back.

You know, it's been a minute.

I'm sure y'all like me, campus has changed.

I can't find shit.

I'm like…

We didn't have all this when I was here.

I mean, the student center, the cafeteria is amazing.

You see these kids, they got all these options now. Yeah.

What the hell is that? Vegan, here's the gluten-free stuff.

They got… They… They… They even got a he, she, they.

We ain't had that when I was here.

We ain't had that option. We…

There was only one choice you had to make when I was here.

Gravy, baby?

That was it. That was it.

It was about the gravy.

And don't sleep. You better pay attention,

'cause when she go, "Gravy, baby?" if you distracted, you gonna get gravy.

You gonna… She gonna… "Mm."

Gravy, baby?

Oh, I guess I got gravy on my fruit cup.

I ain't see that coming.

So… Man, I… I feel like I can breathe a little bit being here.

You know, right?

I don't know about y'all,

but what the hell's going on out there now?

Boy, I feel like I've been stuck in the shittiest escape room ever.

I can't figure it out.

All the clues have been redacted.

I mean, what is this? What are we living, y'all?

I mean, the… the… the show Stranger Things ain't got shit on us.

'Cause at least that show has some logic to it.

You know what I'm saying? Like, they had The Upside Down world.

Shoot, you flip this bitch upside down,

it'll be raining racist grifters and pedophiles. It'd be like…

Girl, a billionaire just fell through my roof.

How we gonna get out of here?

There's nowhere…

We need Harriet Tubman to get us out this bitch.

This administration is so incompetent.

In the files, they released the names of the Epstein survivors.

Come on, man. Like, how do you screw up redacting?

That… That's just crossing shit out.

That… That's pre-K.

You know what I'm saying? Like, uh, when in doubt, cross it out.

Maybe they ran out of ink crossing all the Trumps out.

Maybe that was it, you know?

Oh yeah, you know he's in there. He's in there. He's…

What… We… We knew before the files were even released that he was in there.

We saw the pictures, him all chummy chummy with Epstein

and, you know, video of him at that party with Epstein. And he…

Biting his bottom lip.

When you bite your bottom lip, that's some lascivious shit right there.

You… You up to no good when you biting that bottom lip.

You're like, "Mm, I'm gonna fuck something up. Yeah, mm."

You see somebody walking towards you with they bottom lip like this, run.

Get out of there.

They mean you no good.

I can't believe I'm gonna say this, y'all.

But I miss 2016 Trump.

Baby Trump seems cute now.

You know, we just had to humor him.

Yeah… "Oh, I'm gonna build a wall."

Oh, you gonna build a wall?

Yes, you are gonna build a wall.

You gonna build a big, beautiful wall, aren't you?

Uh-huh.

"And I'm gonna lock her up."

That's right. Lock her up.

Lock her up.

-Lock her up. -

Lock her up. Lock…

That Trump was harmless 'cause we had the guardrails up on his crib.

You know.

This Trump, there is no supervision.

This man is off the rails.

You see he posted that shit about the Obamas?

He posted the Obamas as apes. What the hell, y'all?

I mean, even racists were like, "Now that's too far."

You're the president, show some decorum.

And there's no decorum anymore.

All these politicians just cursing. Everybody's cursing.

That's my job. I…

Chuck Schumer out there, "You fuck off!" I'm like, "Hey, hey."

Trump got them all cursin'.

You… You know it's bad

when… when the State of the Union is about to come on, you like,

"Oh, here come the president. Get them kids out the room."

"Get the kids out of the room."

We used to have standards, y'all.

There was a… There was a bar, a high bar, right?

Remember Howard Dean?

Howard Dean, yeah, yeah, Democratic candidate, right?

He ruined his career.

2004, he ruined his career.

It wasn't scandal. No, it wasn't a scandal.

It was over-exuberance.

Because he screamed weird.

He did well in the Iowa caucus, and he got a little too excited.

He's like, "And then we're gonna go all the way to the White House, yeah!"

And he did that, "Yeah!"

And everybody was like, "The fuck you yah-ing about?"

Ruined his career, over.

We went from, you can't "yeah" to this.

"I just grab 'em by the pussy. Mm."

This man is…

Y'all, Trump believes, because of the Civil Rights Act,

that white people have been treated unfairly.

He even got a 1-800 number.

This is true. So they can report their hardship

and file for reparations.

Can you believe that shit? What the hell?

I mean, what… what… what more do they want? Man, come on.

Okay, first you steal our music, now you want our justice too?

I don't want this 800 number shit.

My family's white.

They'd be reporting my ass every day.

I can see my son calling now.

"Yeah, this Black woman won't give me a PlayStation."

- -

You better not be on that phone again.

Yeah, I… I have a white family. My… my… my wife is white.

Uh, well, she's… she's French.

She's French, but you know if shit goes down…

And we have twins, Olivia and Lucas. They're 16 now.

You know, they're… they're… they're white too, yeah.

Yeah.

Black excellence. You're looking at it right here.

Well, unfortunately, racism,

it is in this fabric of the country, right?

It's in… It's here, and it's…

Remember, it hasn't been that long

since, like, during the Civil Rights Movement, right?

And our people were out there marching peacefully.

And that… that… those people in that angry mob

who were yelling stuff and… and just evil stuff

and… and… and spitting on them,

some of them are still alive.