Bob's Burgers

All right,

breakfast is served. We got some French toast,

eggs in the hole, bacon, and hash browns.

Is that it, Dad? You're kind of phoning it in.

Uh, what can I say? I like making breakfast.

He's got eggs, and he knows how to use 'em.

Oops, I dropped some egg.

Oh, no. If only we had a dog,

it would be cleaning that up for us right now.

Guys, we've been over this. I know that puppy you saw

- last week was cute, but... - I beg your pardon.

"Cute" is not a word that even begins to describe

- what that puppy was. - He was like Shirley Temple

stuffed inside a teddy bear

stuffed inside that kid from Jerry Maguire.

We can't have a dog.

Dogs are expensive... The food, the vet,

the Halloween costumes.

Oh, also having a dog is a lot of work, and you kids hate work.

You never do any of your chores. Y-You don't... floss.

Yeah. Hey, weren't we gonna start using a chore wheel?

That's right. Whose chore was it to make the chore wheel?

- Not me. - Not me.

- Not me. - Not me.

Please, please, please let us have a dog.

Please?

Wow, that was good harmony.

But no.

Okay, we didn't want to have to do this,

but we drew some pictures of the family. Gene?

Here we are, dog-less.

- What am I holding? - You've got a knife

and you're gonna stab Dad.

- Oh, yeah. - And here we are with a dog.

Ooh! I look good.

Yup. The sun is shining.

Look at the light. Look at the color.

Um, who's the other woman?

Mom let you get another wife.

You met her when you were out walking the dog.

Her name is Susan. She's a homeopath.

I like Susan.

So, can we get a dog?

- No. - Poor Susan.

Now I'm afraid I'm gonna stab you.

Wow, that's a long line.

Yeah. What is going on over there?

Look. "Now serving brunch"

and all you can drink Bloody Mary-naras."

Hey, Bob. I-I see you got a huge line outside your restaurant.

Oh, wait, oh, that's me!

Zoom.

Only we do.

Oh that's very funny, Jimmy.

Yeah, it's called brunch, Bob.

Read about it.

Why don't you read about it?

Yeah, here, read this.

He's talking about his butt. Like it's a book.

- Hey, don't explain it. - Just clarifying.

I'm going inside now, so have fun.

There's no line. You should get right in.

Stupid Jimmy Pesto.

Do that many people really go to brunch?

Yeah. Families, young people, big groups of girlfriends

who all just broke off their engagements.

Maybe we could do brunch. We already serve food.

Well, I do love cooking eggs.

It could be fun.

And so I said, "I don't get hungry, I get fun-gry."

Oh, honey, if you're fun-gry, I'm fun-starving.

- I like dating. - Check, please.

Let's do it. But I get to be the Carrie.

Mom, you're the Stanford Blatch and you know it.

Linda, you wouldn't be going to the brunch,

- you'd be working at it. - Oh. Right.

Sucks for you, Mom.

Uh, you kids would be working, too.

- Yay. - Oh, we'd love to,

but we have to go to church.

But look at that line outside Jimmy's...

- We could really use the money. - For a dog.

- No. - Ooh, we could serve mimosas.

But we could call 'em Mom-osas, after me.

Yeah. Or Gene-mosas, after Gene Simmons.

Okay, let's do it. Let's do a brunch.

Good, yeah, this'll be great.

Bob's Burgers' Brunch.

We'll see who has a bigger line tomorrow, Jimmy.

Hello, Belchers.

How are we today?

Uh-uh, hi, Mr. Fischoeder.

Ca... Uh, can we help you with something?

We-we sent you the rent. It was very late, but...

Right. Yes.

- Uh, thank you. - Do you...

- want to see a menu? - Oh, no.

No. No, I do not want to eat your food, Bob.

I'm actually looking for my brother, Felix.

You haven't seen him, have you?

No. How long has he been gone?

Do you think he's okay?

Oh, I'm sure he's fine. Uh, it's just that.

"Crocodile Rock," uh, came on the radio and I don't want,

uh... I don't want him to miss it.

I love that song. It's about when The Rock was young.

Ugh. Louise, I asked you to take this out

to the Dumpster last night.

Oh, the Dumpster Dumpster.

I thought you meant something else.

Go.

- Now. - Okay.

See? See how much I love to work?

I see. We still aren't getting a dog.

I'll break you yet, Robert Belcher.

- Felix? - Shh! I'm hiding.

Well, Mr. Fischoeder is inside looking for you.

What?! Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

That's who I'm hiding from.

- Why? - I can't tell you, but let's just say

that I'm in a lot of danger if he finds me. Oh, did he already

- look around in there? - Yup.

Then that's where I should hide.

Now that he's looked in there, that spot'll be good for hours.

Hey, if I came back later, could you let me in?

- What's in it for me? - What do you want?

I want a lot of things, Felix.

But right now I want money for a dog.

- You owe a dog money? - No.

What would you say to $250?

- I'd take it. - No, you pay me.

- That's okay, too. - All right, we'll hide you.

Great. I'll be back later tonight.

And one more thing... you can't tell anyone you saw me.

You have no idea what's at stake.

Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to finish my garbage fries.

What did I do with my garbage ketchup?

Hmm. I thought for sure I would find him in this area.

He always turns up in the dirtiest places.

W-Wait, what?

Oh, did I say dirty? I meant... dingy.

Louise, you still have the trash.

Ha! I do. Crazy me. So forgetful.

Hmm. You were out there an awfully long time

and yet you did not throw the trash away.

Talking to someone, were we?

What? No.

Bob, mind if I poke my head in your alley, so to speak?

He was here!

- He was? - Oh, yes.

If he wasn't, then who does this belong to?

Wha... I don't see it. W-What are you talking about?

It's a hair. A single, limp, blonde hair.

A hair I'd know anywhere.

That's crazy. We get all kinds of blondes in this alley.

We have to shoo them away with a broom.

Well, this has been really fun

and, uh, not weird at all,

but we better get back to our dingy lives.

All right. Cheers, pink ears.

What was that all about? Are you two dating?

No, but we are going to hide his brother in our basement.

Nice. I knew it was one or the other.

Granny! That hurt my sweet little fingers.

Okay, your Dad and I have to run a few errands

- for brunch tomorrow. - I'm making a topless burger

with a fried egg and hollandaise

that is really complicated, so...

Wait, are you topless or the burger?

- Hmm. We'll see. - All right,

bye, bye, bye.

- Stay out of my room! - My room, too.

Stay out of our room!

- Okay, sister, spill. - Spill what?

Apparently, we're going to hide a man

- in our basement? - Go on.

- Well, a Felix. - Oh.

Psst!

Okay, so we brought you down a blanket, a pillow...

Some potato chips. No, wait, never mind.

Here's a DVD of Prelude to a Kiss starring Meg Ryan.

I mean, there's no DVD player down here

and we lost the DVD that...

Oh, don't worry. I've hidden in much more boring places

than this for much longer than one night.

I just need to stay hidden until 12:30 p.m. tomorrow,

and then I win.

W-Wait. Win what?

You said you were in danger,

and I took advantage of that for money.

In danger of not winning hide-and-seek.

We play every year on our birthdays.

The birthday boy hides, and the non-birthday boy seeks.

- It's your birthday? - Oh, no.

My birthday was 19 days ago.

You've been hiding for 19 days?

- Smell me. - Ugh.

Huh. I'd say 15.

And if I make it to 20, I beat my brother's record.

Why aren't you hiding somewhere cool, like Europe?