Highway to Havasu

Good morning BHHS!

This is Billy,

yours and everyone's favorite morning radio talent,

I hope!

Well it's looking like a beautiful day here

in the city of bend

after last night's crazy downpour.

And as always,

I'm joined by my radio sidekick

and our school janitor, Mr. frank.

How you doing today Frankel?

Hi.

- No, I said how you doing today, Frankel?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, yeah,

thanks for that add Frankis!

Whelp,

I'd like to start us off this morning

with a very special song,

dedicated to very special someone

who may not be feeling so very special right now.

Dylan my sweet old friend, this one goes out to you.

My name is Dylan green.

I'm a high school senior from bend, Oregon.

And my life? It's been fine, until yesterday.

Hey,

picked up all of fingernail's shit again.

- What do you think of this nail color for my nails?

This is my girlfriend Katy

and her annoying dog, fingernails.

- I don't know, that color looks good I guess.

Hey, listen. I've been meaning to talk to you.

Oh hey, Dylan?

Yeah?

Umm, I was just thinking,

we've been together for all of high school now,

and I just feel like it's time to...

- no way! I feel the exact same way.

- You do? - Yeah!

Oh! That's perf!

I didn't know breaking up with you

would be so easy!

What?

And just like that,

it's over.

- Good morning, Ms. Tlif.

Hey Billy.

Hmm, what a surprise.

And Mr. Dylan.

I noticed you missed a couple.

You know you can do better than that, right?

Yeah, whatever.

Hey Dylan, hey, Dyl,

hey, dude, take one of these.

What, no. What is this?

- I don't know, it's an upper or downer?

Sideways? It'll mellow you out man.

Dude, it's a tic tack.

- Well yeah! I was going for the placebo effect, you know?

That's when the...

- I know what placebo means, okay?

- Bro, you're loosing your shit, alright?

And over Katy?

- Yeah, you don't seem well, but you look great.

- I mean yeah. Dude, all she does is keep nagging you man!

Just nag, nag, nag, you know?

Like "Dylan! Dilly!

"Dilly, I just did my nails, you need to wipe my ass!

"Dilly..." god! I hate it when she calls you that.

Fuck, dude!

Yeah, you should be single.

- Um, excuse me, Ms. Tilf, I'm sorry, Tlif,

um, could you just give us a quick moment please?

Sure, I'll wait all day.

Dude, dude! Dude.

This is the best thing that's happened to you.

Fuck us, man!

I mean dude, we finally get our best friends back, alright?

We miss you, no homo, we miss you.

- I know, man. I miss you guys too.

I had the best fucking idea!

Tonight, you, me, and maxi, maxi's treehouse,

just like the old times before Katy.

You know, maybe we'll watch some good weed?

Smoke some good porn?

I don't know.

- Where is maxi anyway? Is he around?

What's up guy?

Hey yo maxi, guess what?

Dylan's in for tonight, alright?

You, me, Dylan, tonight,

treehouse, tits amazing, gonna be awesome! Woo!

- Okay, sounds good. I'm a little busy.

You're good.

He's not good, okay?

You see what the wrestling team is doing to our best friend?

Alright man?

He's getting his head flushed down the toilet

and we need to protect him!

You're being selfish!

- Selfish? I'm not being selfish!

You're being selfish. Don't call me selfish, alright?

If it wasn't for you,

our buddy wouldn't be getting his head

flushed down the toilet right now

because you're so obsessed with Amber Andrews, alright?

So sack up and go over and talk to her.

But!

She talks to me in biology class like all the time!

- That's 'cause she's your lab partner

and she needs your brain, man.

- No, actually she's very smart and she's very nice

and she lets me stare.

Hey Billy!

Congratulations on your scholarship into state.

Yeah. Ay.

Yeah. Gonna be a state beaver.

Gonna surround myself with beavers, yeah.

- I applied too, just waiting to hear back.

Yeah? That's great.

Bring your beaver.

I'll remember that.

And Dylan, sorry to hear about my sister and you.

Between you and I, you can do a lot better.

Thanks.

I'll see you in class Billy.

Oh, god. There it is.

Are you done yet?

Hold on, hold on.

Okay.

- I mean, how does everyone know already?

- Yeah man, I mean fuck social media.

Hey Dylan.

Whoa.

- I don't know what you're doing after school,

but you're open to it,

I'm holding a little study group.

Maybe we can work on beefing up your test scores?

- Uh. - Do it.

- I have an a in your class, Ms. Tlif.

I know you do.

If you change your mind,

I'll be around the corner

with my friend.

Ay, yo Frankenstein!

Such an interesting relationship, dude.

Holy crap.

Dude, we have like the hottest teachers in school.

Man she should definitely change her name to Ms. Tilf

'cause she's definitely a teacher I'd like to...

Dylan? Dilly?

We're at the best high school ever!

Oh hey, check this out.

It's a cute little froggy taint.

It's a taint, this frog's got a taint!

- Oh yeah, it does. It's got one.

Little taint of a frog.

- Ugh, I cannot wait to get out of here.

I want a break from biology.

Is that a frog? We have to dissect a cat.

Wanna trade?

I'd love to dissect some pussy!

You're so gross.

I am.

Where you go, Lauren?

Oh hey! It's biology Billy!

Yep.

Are you going to Havasoon too?

Havasu, it's lake Havasu.

What's lake Havasu?

- It's the coolest place for spring people.

- Where are you gonna do for spring break, Billy?

Oh, you know,

many drugs

and lots of alcohol and stuff.

Oh I love drugs and alcohol!

Totally JK, Mr. gay.

- You should come to Havasu, Billy.

Me?

- Yes, biology Billy. Please come, please come!

- Michelle? Could you please say that for me one more time?

Please come, Billy!

Oh yeah.

- A bunch of us are gonna go to lake Havasu.

It's supposed to be epic,

that's what everybody says.

You should check it out.

Text me if you wanna come.

Alright well

have a good spring break, Billy.

Yeah. Yeah yeah.

You too.

- I'm sick and tired of our spring break highlight

being us going to see a movie

and getting popcorn and milk nips.

Hey guys!

Sorry I'm late, my car wasn't, yeah.

Who's feet are these.

Hey! Maxi,

nice, nice feet.