Death of a Unicorn

各位乘客 很抱歉航班延误 Sorry about the delays today, folks,

但地面控制中心通知我们 but ground control is telling me

还需要等15分钟 it's gonna be another 15 or so

才能开始安排下机流程 until we can start the deplaning process.

所以请各位坐好 So just sit tight

我们会尽快送您踏上旅程 and we'll have you on your way as soon as we can.

安全带 Seatbelts.

女士 请系好安全带 Ma'am. Ma'am. Seatbelt.

不好意思... Excuse me

请大家在飞机抵达登机口前坐好 Please stay seated until we're at the gate.

搞什么啊 Ow! What the fuck?

抱歉 我得捡下这个 Sorry. No, I had to grab--

-你在我肩上睡着了 -我干嘛那样 -You fell asleep on me. -Why would I do that?

飞机什么时候降落的 When did we land?

又是我 各位 Me again, folks.

我刚得到通知 这里停机坪上的登机梯 I'm now being told that the stairway they've got

并不适用我们这架飞机 on the tarmac here doesn't actually fit our aircraft.

所以等我们一弄清具体原由 So we'll get you on the ground

就会送大家安全着陆 as soon as we figure out what that means.

噢 Oh...

我感觉自己被封印在这了 I think I'm frozen here

因为导航一直在说只要6分钟 because it's been saying six minutes.

我知道离得不远 可是... I know we're close but--

喂 Hello?

能听见吗 信号断了吗 喂 Can you hear me? Did I lose you? Hello?

喂 Hello?

噢 不 导航系统也崩溃了 Oh, no. Navigation crashed too.

上帝 怎么回事 God, what the--

嘿 你的手机能... Hey, does your phone--

我一点信号都没 所以没法... I don't have any reception. I can't--

如果你都没信号 我怎么会有 Well, if you don't have service, why would I?

噢 等等 知道吗 Oh, uh, wait. You know what? I...

我之前用邮件发过方位 I have emailed directions.

能把窗户合上吗 Can you put your window up?

花粉简直要我的命 The pollen is killing me.

谢谢 Thank you.

嘿 听着 我只想说 So, hey, look, I just wanna say,

再次多谢你 you know, thanks again for...

你懂的 愿意一起来 you know, being here.

别抠了 Stop picking.

嘿 别抠 快住手 Hey, stop picking. Come on. Don't.

你刚刚是在用手弹我吗 Did you just try to flick me?

行了 没必要这么紧张 Come on. There's no reason to be nervous.

你是来这里享受的 You're here to enjoy yourself.

那绝不是我来这的理由 That's definitely not... why I'm here.

是啊 但你仍然可以享受 对吗 Yeah. But you still can, right?

亲近亲近大自然 Huh? Take in some nature,

也许还能陪我一起越野跑 maybe join me on a trail run?

不陪也行 Or not.

不过那可是你的损失 But it's your loss.

遥远的北部山脉 The mountains this far north,

是真正原始 未被人类开发过的秘境 pristine. Truly. Untouched by man.

听着 我知道你不想来 Look, I get you don't wanna be here

但是奥德尔 整个利奥波德家族 but Odell, the Leopolds,

他们都很重视家庭 they have a big thing about family

而且他们认为咱们父女二人 and they just assume that you and I

关系十分亲密 are particularly close

因为发生的一切 你懂的 because of everything that, you know,

因为我们经历的所有事 'cause of everything that's happened to us.

因为我们经历的所有事? Because of everything that's happened to us?

是的 Yeah.

还是说只是在特指那件事 Or are you just talking about the one thing?

不好意思 我没心情充当你和你老板 Look, I'm sorry. I just don't feel like being a pity prop

-聊起单亲爸爸话题时 -噢 拜托 -for the single dad thing... -Oh, come on. That's...

用来卖惨的道具 就这样 ...that you've got going on with your bosses. That's all.

不 我们不是为了这个 No. That's not what this is about.

不 我们可以成功 No. We can-- We can own it though.

我是说咱们们真的可以完全博取他们的同情 I mean, we could really milk them for their sympathy.

我可以装瘸 I could fake a limp.

没准我还可以准备一段关于我妈的感人独白 Maybe I could prepare a, a weepy monologue about Mom.

但我不知道你是否得帮我打份草稿 But I don't know, you probably would have to give notes on it

另外我们也需要时间排练一下 and we need some more time for that.

行了 不管你有什么不满 Okay. That's it. Whatever this is,

趁咱们没到之前赶紧一吐为快 just get it out of your system before we get there.

你是说我个性很坏吗 Are you talking about my personality?

没问题 等他们在餐桌上大肆 Fine. I will sit there and smile

计划如何哄抬价格 压榨百姓时 while they plan their predatory price

我会乖乖坐好保持微笑的 gouging at the dinner table.

那帮人的日常工作远不止药品价格 Their day-to-day is so far above drug pricing.

他们还关心许多事物 And they care about a lot of things,

不仅仅是制药业 not just pharmaceuticals.

这里整个自然保护区都是靠他们捐助 I mean, this entire nature preserve was donated by them.

是啊 但你知道慈善不过就是 Yeah, but you know that philanthropy is just--

为了帮这帮寡头漂白名声 It's reputation laundering for the oligarchy.

是啊 好吧 Yeah. Okay. All right.

也许在艺术学院是这样 Maybe on the arts quad,

但是在现实世界 你必须学会妥协 but in the real world, you have to compromise.

等我一旦被任命为代理人并在董事会席位 Once I'm named proxy and I sit on this board

坐上五六年 for five, six years,

最多十年 ten tops,

我就能赚到足够多的钱 确保我们无论遭遇什么 then I will earn enough to make sure that we're okay

都可以高枕无忧 好吗 no matter what hits us, alright?

好 Right.

"您已进入利奥波德野生保护区 野生动物保护区 违法者将进监狱"

-奥德尔 -我是格里芬 -Uh. Odell. -It's Griffin.

利奥波德先生已经等了你一个小时了 Mr. Leopold was expecting you over an hour ago.

什么 你没收到我的短信吗 What? Didn't you get my texts?

-没有 -上帝 国际漫游 -No. -Oh God, roaming.

不 Um, no,

麻烦转告他 我们随时就到 let him know that we will literally be there any minute.

艾略特 你在哪里 Elliot, where are you?

是我 很抱歉 利奥波德先生 Oh, yes. Yeah, I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Leopold.

-我们已经开了... -你需要开慢点 -We-- It's been a whole... -You need to slow down.

不 我需要信号 喂 No. I need service. Hello?

艾略特 你到底要开多久 Elliot, how long is this drive going to take?

喂 能听见我说话吗 Hello? Can you hear me? Can you hear me?

他声音听起来就像个机器人 He sounds like a robot

-在遭受水刑 -喂 -getting waterboarded? -Hello?

拿着 给他回电话 Here. Call him back.

你自己打 反正这一切都是为了你 Do it yourself. This is all for you anyway.

什么 你说啥 What? What are you talking...

天哪 用纸巾擦一下 真恶心 Oh, my God! Use a tissue. That's disgusting.

你还好吗 你还好吗 Are you okay? Are you okay?

你就不能好好看路吗 You couldn't watch the fucking road?

没事 没事 我们都没受伤 Uh... It's okay. It's okay. We're okay.

我买了事故保险 所以... I got the damage waiver. It's...

那他妈是什么东西 What the fuck was that?

它好像并没死 I don't think it's dead.

在这等着 Just wait there.

啥 What?

这什么 What?

这东西 我是说... What, uh, I mean, uh...

它很痛苦 It's suffering.

你觉得它是濒危物种还是... You, you think it's endangered or...

我们不能这样丢下它不管 对吧 Um, we, we can't, we can't just leave it here, right?

我是说... I mean...

妈的 Fuck!

要是它被护林员发现了那就... If a ranger finds it then--

我是说 从来没人开过这条路 I mean, no one uses this road.

上帝 我不光迟到 还得进监狱了 God, I'm late and I'm going to prison.

蕾德利 你还好吗 Ridley, are you okay?

快放手 Let go!

蕾德利 Ridley!

住手 住手 Stop! Stop!

片名: 独角兽之死

抱歉我们迟到了 Sorry we're late.

欢迎光临乡间小屋 Welcome to the lodge.

小屋? Lodge? Wow.

大律师 你咋回事 Counselor! What happened?

你们是从机场直接走来的吗 You walk from the airport or what?

你不会相信的 You, you would not believe.

没事 开个玩笑 我从肖恩那里学来的 Forget it. That's a joke. I got it from here, Shaw.

真是幽默 谢泼德 Such a card, Shepard.

很抱歉我们迟到了 I'm so sorry we're late.

你还好吗 你父母在这吗 How are you? Your folks here?

不知道他们还能去哪 Don't know where else they'd be.

我刚正准备泡澡 I was about to hit the tub,

但还是先下来会会老朋友吧 but come in here for a cut of the good stuff.

噢 多谢 Oh, thank you.

这是我女儿 蕾德利 Uh, this is my daughter, Ridley.

谢泼德·利奥波德 Shep Leopold.

-很高兴认识你 -是艾略特吗 -Good to know you. -Is that Elliot?

来得正巧 Perfect timing.

我刚开完个远程会议 I just got off a Zoom

同基金会就难民问题进行了讨论 with the Foundation about the refugees,

我们正在疏散他们 we're evacuating them.

注: 因疏散(evacuating) 和打疫苗(vaccinating) 发音接近 此处讽刺女主人并不真正关心难民问题

还是给他们打疫苗来着? Or are we vaccinating them?

很高兴可以... It's so good to--

我必须先提前跟你道个歉 Now, I need to apologize in advance.

奥德尔非常担心自己的病情 Odell is very sensitive about word

被人走漏风声 of his condition getting out,

所以只安排了几名必要工作人员在这里 hence the skeleton staff around here.

是啊 我们每个人都在做出牺牲 Oh, yeah. We're all making sacrifices.

总算来了 Ah, here he is.

我们几乎做好了最坏打算 And we'd almost assumed the worst.

很抱歉让您久等 奥德尔 I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, Odell.

这种事在所难免 These things happen.

开车经过山路时 How was the drive

一路感觉如何 through the pass?

有没有幸运地撞见什么大猎物啊? Get lucky, spot any big game on the way in?

很遗憾 没有 Uh, unfortunately, no.

不过一路上感觉很美妙 But it, it was just lovely.

那些山脉 还有空气... Uh, the mountains, right? The air...

你没事吧 亲爱的 You okay, my dear?

什么 What?

是的 抱歉 Yeah. Sorry.

只是有些不大舒服 Just, um, just not feeling good.

不 Oh, no.

你需要躺一下吗 Do you need to lie down?

格里芬可以带你去房间 Griff can show you to your room.

-不用了 我... -你确定吗 -No. I, uh... -Are you sure?

他很乐意效劳 He loves doing it.

这主意也许不赖 Might not be a bad idea.

我只是觉得我们不能在这里... I just don't feel like we can stay...

什么? Sorry?

待一整个周末 ...for the whole weekend.

好吧 你今晚必须留下吃饭 亲爱的 Well, you must stay for dinner, darling.

格里芬正在做我最拿手的希腊茄盒 Griff is making my famous moussaka.

不好说哎 妈妈 她看起来好像不太舒服 I don't know, Mom. She doesn't look so hot.

你脸上有脏东西 You have something on your face,

只是提个醒 just so you know.

也许你该去用水洗洗 Maybe you should splash some water on yourself,

看看是否管用 see if that helps.

我跟她一样大时也这样 I was like her at that age.

荷尔蒙作祟 Hormones.

-格里芬 -格里芬 -Griff? -Griff?

-格里芬 -奥德尔想要移动 -Griff! -Odell wants to move.

我已经尝试遍了所有传统疗法 Having exhausted traditional treatment options,

已经能平和地接受死亡了 I made peace with my mortality.