Don't Raise the Bridge, Lower the River

Hey, what's going on?

Stars.

Stars.

See? Stars.

Now beat it. Next one.

Strike three! You're out!

Time for George Lester Enterprises. There you are.

George Lester, what are you doing here?

* Don't raise the bridge, Lower the river *

* Your sweet expressions And your funny little ways *

* Have made me understand The meaning of the phrase *

* Don't raise the bridge, Lower the river *

* It means instead of rushing fences like a fool *

* We'd do much better If we only played it cool *

* We could be sniffing the air Down in Rome *

* Hearing the bells ring out Under St. Peter's dome *

* Why do I try pointing the way to a star *

* When we get nearly as far Staying at home? *

* Don't raise the bridge Lower the river *

* Why write a book when Just a word or two will do? *

* Don't raise the bridge *

* 'Cause there's A river coming through *

* We could be tanning our hides down in Spain *

* Why do we sit right here, Driving ourselves insane *

* Why do I try Flying you up to the sun *

* When we have twice as much fun out in the rain? **

Not now, not now.

George! I want to go back to London, where it's warm.

Ooh!

But Pamela,

the whale blubber's very big this season.

Here, you lift your head out.

You should have worn a muffler.

There. This will keep you--

Just relax. That's right.

This will keep you warm.

Mush! Here we go.

Good dogs. Mush!

Little rascal. That's it.

We'll be going in a second, sweetheart.

All right, dogs, mush! That's it!

Stop!

George!

Yes, Pamela?

I want to go back to London,

where it's dry.

But sweetheart,

it's elephant burial grounds.

Everyone's wearing tusks this season.

All right, ha! Ha!

Move on!

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

We appreciate it.

Thank you.

To three years of happiness, my love,

and if I may,

I would like to propose a toast to you.

George,

when are we going back to London?

Ignore it.

Just to tell them no calls.

That's all, darling.

I'm just going to tell them, no calls--

listen, you'll see-- and then we'll be alone.

Hello, this is Mister Lester.

Will you hold all my calls?

Oh, he's on his way up now. All right, thank you.

Oh, George,

not on our anniversary...

He's been trying to see me for months.

It'll take a couple of minutes, really.

I'll get rid of him, you'll hear.

There'll be a knock--

As quick as he came up, that's how quick I'll get rid of him.

Just give me a couple of seconds.

Mr. Kali, come right in.

Is your headache any better?

Nice to see you. Mr. Homer told us about you.

Won't you come in?

Sit right down. This is my wife.

Mr. Kali.

I'll get it.

Have some champagne. Take mine.

Hello?

Oh, Mr. Sabbatini...

What did you say?

Mr. Homer's check bounced? That's impossible.

I was looking over the contracts for the feather shipment

and there's a couple of clauses I'm not happy about.

Oh, yes, it's just marvelous,

and I guarantee you,

as soon as the fall-out level drops,

this property will zoom.

George!

That does it!

Pamela, it's transistorized! It's the newest in--

I've had enough!

Pam, hold on!

Pam! Will you--

Pamela!

Not now with the zebra! Not now!

Take out these chickens! Here, out!

Pamela! Will you get--

Could you prevail on Mr. Lester to get on with it?

Mrs. Lester would like to leave.

Mr. Lester,

is there something about the divorce proceedings

you don't understand?

The divorce, I understand.

The proceedings, I understand.

It's what I've done that I don't understand.

Mrs. Lester, Mr. Lester says

that he understands the divorce proceedings.

It's what he's done that he doesn't understand.

Mrs. Lester heard what Mr. Lester said,

and could you tell Mr. Lester that Mrs. Lester says,

"Can we please get on with it?"

A man meets a woman,

they fall in love, they marry.

The man works to give the woman

the best things in life,

and one day the woman says to the man, "I'm leaving."

Just like that.

A man could faint from this.

Tell Mr. Lester not to faint.

Tell Mr. Lester it really isn't so complicated.

Tell Mr. Lester if he would once-- just once--

put himself in Mrs. Lester's position,

being dragged all over the world--

To think it would come to this.

Ugly. Ugly.

Being ignored,

neglected while he wastes time

on wild, improbable schemes.

It's the same old story.

Nobody loves a loser.

Ugly. Ugly.

Tell Mr. Lester that a wife is entitled

to a certain amount of permanence.

Mr. Lester, Mrs. Lester--

Tell Mrs. Lester

that Mr. Lester is fully aware of his bad behavior,

and does Mrs. Lester know that Mr. Lester

has lain awake every night

since she's walked out on him?

Tell her that.

Mrs. Lester, Mr. Lester said--

What did you say?

Oh, tell Mr. Lester to stop this nonsense.

You're a married man.

Yes.

Look,

a man finds an insight into his true character,

and this lady calls that "nonsense."

Mr. Hartford, what do they want?

Mrs. Lester? Uh, Mr. Lester

would like you to know that he knows

how miserable he's made your life,

and he also knows you're very unworthy--

he's very unworthy of you.

It's too late, George.

I knew when I said--

Yeah.

Just one more thing, Mr. Lester.

The key to Mrs. Lester's house, please.

Oh, yes.

Here you are.

Thank you.

You, uh, might as well take the rabbit's foot.

It's going to be a sticky business, I'm afraid.

Shall we go up to London?

Please.

You go off on that trip, my dear.

Stay away for awhile.

Divorce matters take quite a time.

Thank you, Mr. Lester, for your cooperation.

Can I give you a lift?

No, thank you, Mr. Hartford, very much,

but it's at times like these

when a man must be alone with his thoughts.

Thank you anyway.

I'll just take a walk in the moors.

I don't know what they want from us.

That's what I always say to myself.

"What do they want from us?"

What do women want from men?

You knock your brains out to make a living,

you stay up all night

trying to figure new ways to make money,

and what do you get in return?

Pow, right in the kisser.

George, you're out.

It's this fluoride

they're dumping in our drinking water.

I'm telling you,

a man is going to have to take a position somewhere,

sometime, soon.

Well, I want to thank you anyhow for your advice.

You make a lot of sense.