South Park

# I'm going down to South Park #

# Gonna have myself a time #

# Friendly faces everywhere #

# Humble folks without temptation #

# Going down to South Park #

# Gonna leave my woes behind #

# Ample parking day or night #

# People spouting "howdy neighbor" #

# Headed on up to South Park #

# Gonna see if I can't unwind #

# Come on down to South Park #

# And meet some friends of mine #

What's going on, Dad?

Mr. Marsh, you have to move, it isn't--

Oh, God.

I'm... I'm so startled.

Aghgh!

My name is Craig Tucker.

Last week was my birthday.

My Grandma gave me a check for $100.

I was so happy.

But then, four kids from school came to my house

and said I should use my $100 to invest in becoming

a Peruvian flute band.

They promised I would double my money in one afternoon.

But the government arrested us,

along with all the other Peruvian flute bands,

and took us to an internment camp in Miami.

We begged to go home.

But instead, the government told us

they were sending us to Peru.

And so that is why I am now in Peru.

If I die, let it be known that it is

because four guys I don't even like from school

lied to me and took my birthday money.

We didn't lie, Craig, it was a sweet idea!

Yeah, how were we supposed to know

that pan-flute bands would be outlawed?

I don't get it.

They said the military would meet us here.

This is where they told us to land.

Can you get through to Washington?

I'm trying.

This is Conner in Washington!

Hey, Conner, the place that homeland security told us

to start the operation--

there's nobody here to meet us.

It's like they sent us to no-man's land.

Jesus, they're everywhere!

What are everywhere?

So furry!

They're attacking every city-- ahh--

People dying-- ahh--

Guinea pigs...all over-- ahh--

Guinea pigs?

Can't stop them!

Need to get out-- ahh--

I just ate...

A peanut-- ahh--

Peanut now stuck in throat-- ahh--

Shouldn't eat peanuts when scared!

Ahghghh!

I've got the video camera, got it turned on again.

Okay.

This is Randy Marsh.

I'm shooting this video of myself.

20 minutes ago, some huge creatures attacked our town.

It's still chaos out the window.

I barely made it back to the house.

Sharon is here with me... and there's Shelley.

Wave to the camera, Shelley.

Randy, will you put down that camera?!

We need to figure out what to do!

I don't know what to do!

I'm so startled.

We have to see what the news is saying!

This is a shot of New York City,

where the giant guinea pigs have also attacked.

Guinea pigs?

Reports of attacks are coming in from major cities

all over the world.

Jesus, this thing is worldwide?!

Look at that thing!

Randy, what are we gonna do?!

Ahh! Ahh!

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!

Go, Randy, run!

We've gotta get out!

Michaels, Harrison-- anybody?

Nothing.

L-Sat is down, and no answer at R.C.U.

Whatever's going on out there, it's huge.

All right, just let me get this straight.

The head of homeland security ordered you to fly us,

five kids, to Peru,

but had you land way up in the Andes Mountains of Peru

so that other government people could meet us

and then somehow tell us

how to go to the capital of Peru way over in Lima

and take down their government?

Yes, that was the order.

And that makes sense to you?

Nope, not at all.

Actually, the whole rounding up of the pan-flute bands

didn't make sense to any of us either.

None of what that homeland security guy does makes sense.

So could you just fly us home, please?

You don't understand.

The plan was to have a refueling truck meet us here.

We don't have enough gas to fly anyplace.

Oh, that's awesome.

So we've gotta find another way out of here.

It's starting to look that way, yeah.

This is fun.

Let's walk for miles through a spooky jungle.

It just keeps getting better and better.

Y'know, we're getting pretty sick of your attitude, Craig.

Yeah!

Nobody likes hanging out with people

who complain all the time.

Look at that, no lights on-- nothing.

It's like humans have never been to this part of Peru.

More guinea pigs seem to be moving in from all directions.

We checked on Wikipedia

and found out that guinea pigs

are from the Andes Mountains-- here.

What about the pan-flute bands?

Are they on their way to Guantanamo Bay?

Sir, we believe we have bigger problems right now

than pan-flute bands.

Have they been loaded onto the boats or not?!

No, Sir.

We diverted all the resources away from the pan-flute bands

to deal with the guinea pigs.

That was an order!

The flute bands were to be put on boats

to Guantanamo last night!

I am still in charge here!

I want those pan-flute bands on the boats to Guantanamo!

Yes, Sir.

I don't see why you have to yell at people.

Okay, we're down in Main Street now.

Ohh-- oh, look at that.

Ohh!

Where do we go, Randy?

We've got to get out of town.

Go through that way.

No!

Ahgh-- my arm, my arm!

Oh, Jesus!

Randy, run!

Run!

Okay, we're running now!

There's Sharon and Shelley running.

Wave to the camera, Shelley.

Dad!

Ahghgh!

In there, in there!

Oh, God, oh, God, I'm so startled.

Are you startled, Sharon?

Randy, put down the--

It's gonna kill us!

Just stay down, Shelley, it can't come in here!

Hold on, hold on, I need to get a shot of it from outside.

Randy, where are you going?

Here we see a view from outside the bus.

Randy!

What the hell are you doing?!

I got a really good shot of it, Sharon.

Aghgh!

I don't know, Lemski.

This entire area of Peru isn't even charted on the maps.

This whole valley is strange.

Just look at the size of that fruit!

Ain't that a peach?

And how do you like them apples?

Take a look at this!

They look like beehive combs.

Oh, my God.

Dude, what is this place?

It's like an unknown valley that time forgot

where everything grows huge.

That's a shock.

I decided to follow you guys

and now I'm in "Land of the Giants' Lost World."

Craig, it isn't our fault!

You make it sound like we always wanna be

in situations like this, but we don't have any choice!

Yeah, stuff just happens.

Stuff just happens.

That's right!

You just wind up being sent by the government

to take down the city of Lima,

only to wind up in "Land of the Giants' Lost World."

That's right.

You know what stuff happens to most kids?

They fall off their bikes.

They get in fights with their parents.

They get swindled out of their birthday money.

Look, wherever we are, I think we better keep moving.