Happy Days

Oh no, its alright hun. I don't need any help.

Oh non.

I still have some feeling in my arms.

Yes, Marion.

I told you I would get this later.

Now, come on, help me get this food over to the Burkharts before the fumigators get here.

Well, Howard, why are you labeling those steaks liver?

Well, you know Burkhart.

All he has to do is read Top Sirloin in a package and he'll suck it up, paper and all.

This is it for me.

Oh, no, no, wait a minute.

Mrs. C, let me help you with that.

Right.

Oh, thank you, Arthur.

So you're really going through with this, huh, Mr. C?

Fonzie, I am not a bloodthirsty man, but these are termites.

You gotta gas their little brains out.

Yeah, I know, but I see them on those little commercials, you know, and they're

singing and they're dancing, they're falling in love, and then whammo,

all of a sudden we're talking six little skinny legs all up in the air.

Oh, Howard, we can't go through with this.

They're bugs, Marion.

They eat their young.

Oh!

Oh, cookies.

Oh, don't eat that, Chachi.

This is Arthur's food.

That's all right, Mrs. C.

We're family.

We share.

And besides, Mr. Burkhardt is gonna eat everything that isn't labeled poison anyway.

Oh, poison!

Better, better, yeah.

Want one?

Thank you.

Oh, these look homemade.

Oh.

These are horrible.

You got any more?

All right, this is my final box.

Oh, hey, that's great.

Thank you.

I ought to take this over to your house to protect it.

You know what this is?

What?

This is the cookie jar I had when I was a little boy.

Uh-huh.

You know what's in here?

The last three cookies my mother made before she took off on me.

I know you might think I'm silly, but I figure as long as I got them in

here, there's a chance she might come back to me.

Oh, jeez.

Uh, uh, uh, Fonzie, Fonzie, I got a terrific idea.

Why don't you let me take that down to the store?

And I'll laminate that baby shut.

That way no one will ever be able to open it, huh?

That's very nice of you.

Thank you.

Be careful.

Fonzie, is this yours?

I don't know.

Where'd you find that?

It was taped to the bottom of the cookie jar.

Oh, yeah?

Let me see.

Did you read this?

No.

You're lying.

No.

Did you two read this?

No.

My goodness.

What is it, Fon?

Nothing.

Well, then what are you keeping it for?

I'm not keeping it.

I'm going to throw it away.

Here it is.

Look at this.

I'm throwing it in the garbage can right there.

There you go.

All right?

Look.

I'll throw out the trash.

You know something?

If he really wanted that garbage thrown out, he'd have had me do it.

I think something on that note really upset him.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Stop it.

Excuse me!

Huh?

It's okay, Tom.

I really am concerned you're going to hide the jewelry.

You're a very smart kid, and I know how to know.

So, you're acting here, too.

Chach, there is something wrong with Fonzie.

What are you talking about?

He's changed.

He's different.

Hey, when he came in, he turned on the light.

Big deal, he turned on the lights.

He used the switch.

He used the switch?

Really?

He's coming.

He's in bad shape.

Oh, my gosh!

He put a dime in the jukebox!

Bobby, take it easy.

There's something really bizarre going on here, and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.

Fonz?

Hello, Chach.

Where's your leather jacket?

Stolen.

Leather thieves.

They clean me out.

Leather jacket, belts, pillowcases, everything.

Something's bothering you.

I think it has something to do with that note we found this morning on the bottom of the cookie jar.

Am I right?

Why don't you play a tune with my dime?

I haven't used it yet.

I gotta go home and rehearse, okay?

Great.

Bye-bye.

Fonzie!

Fonzie!

I'm so sorry!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

I drove into the parking lot too fast, and I knocked over your motorcycle.

It was an accident.

Don't hurt me.

Don't kill me.

Is that an accordion?

You know what?

It's okay.

Because it was just a motor transportation.

It was just a machine.

Worst comes to worst, I will take a bus.

I think I know what it is.

What?

They came down last night while he was sleeping.

They stole his bike.

They stole his brain.

And now they're pretending they're him.

Who?

Martians.

But they made a mistake.

See, they didn't realize that he was the Fonz.

They thought he was just like one of us.

See, they always make these little mistakes.

That's how we beat them.

Tommy, do me a favor.

Take him home.

Yeah, good idea, Chachi.

Hey, Bobby, come on, man.

It's gonna be all right.

They may get Fonzie, but they'll never get my brain.

I'm gonna wear a cap.

Good idea.

Boy, Chachi, I can't believe some of this stuff people give away.

Look at this.

A leather jacket, just like Fonzie's.

This is Fonzie's.

Fonzie, would you come down here, please?

Do I have to?

Right this minute.

All right.

Oh, Howard, I love it when you're so forceful.

All right.

Marion, Chachi's here.

Well, Chachi, you're forceful, too.

Could we make this quick, please?

I have tea steeping.

Fonzie, I'm going to deal with this as if you were my own son.

Oh, Howard, now you're not going to use the belt again.

One time, and you never let me forget, Marion.

Mr. Silver.

Now, look, Fonzie, we're worried about you.

We know that there's something in that

know what it is, and we want to know right now.

All right.

Better hear from me than on the street.

Read all the gory details.

Well, come on, read it, read it.

It's in crayon.

I wrote it when I was a little kid.

Things I must do in the next 20 years to consider myself a man.