Romeo 3000

This be the year 3,000.

The world has been enveloped within the flames

of nuclear warfare, bringing with it a new dark age.

This tale takes place after a vile war between two houses,

both like indignity in what is left of fair Verona.

The house of Capulet has claimed a victory

and believes to have extinguished

all within the house of Montague, yet one still lives.

This be not the story of star-crossed lovers

but of Romeo, last of the Montague,

a Cyborg who seeks love

and revenge.

Well, now.

What have we here, Sir Samson?

- Well, it appears before us stands a little lamb,

quite lost in her way, Sir Gregory.

- And whatever shall we do with our young lamb chop?

- Well, I'd say we prepare a meal most fine,

and I lay claim first mark in the art of stuffing.

Vile cretins!

Let me go!

- Do it look like we'd be of stock from House Montague?

More like what such swine they possess!

And that be just finished

with a roll most vigorous in the dump!

Get back!

- Who shall be the one to stress such words onto us?

This here be Capulet territory.

Here, our word be law.

In brief, little lamb chop.

You shall do as we say, else shall be sheered,

drawn and quartered.

Yet, it matters not.

I beg you, no.

Once again, a lady most fair

has refused the touch of a Capulet.

Now, take heed of this and make way.

And hell be the dog who'd dare,

not only tell House Capulet what to do,

but insulting to boot?

- I be known to all as Romeo, the last of House Montague,

and it would seem my good fortune that I'd be here

to help scrape such dung known to all as Capulet

off the boots of our fair maiden.

- So, a cockroach from House Montague yet lives.

Albeit, a Cyborg.

- It's we who've bestowed such good fortune, Sir Samson.

By gifting such wretchedness under Prince Tybalt,

we'd achieve wealth and favor most grand!

Mm.

Such boasting.

The discharge of pigs be sweeter

than the words that you spew.

Oh, but you can but try to make true such words,

oh swiney cakes, for in doing so,

all that shall be brought forth onto Tybalt the Twat

shall be news of your passing.

Were you in abuse for long by this miscreants, fair...

- I be known to all as Rosaline, dear Romeo.

And I now be in the right,

due to such actions you bring about.

- Well, to save the beauty, such as one that lies before me,

makes the day even more so.

I'd be charmed by such words, sir.

If I may return as such,

however shall a balance be redeemed.

Hm.

Your inspiration grants within me some insight.

Ah.

Prince Tybalt, I beg of your attention.

Most urgent of news.

What could two such as you possibly have

that would be of interest to one such as I, hm?

The penalty for your silence shall be your tongues

in release from your mouths.

I assure you

that this blade

shall not be to your liking.

'Tis Romeo, my prince. He yet lives.

You dare

to voice falsehoods within my presence?

Hm?

'Tis true, my prince.

Life be with Romeo.

We recently engaged upon discovering Montague,

and we gave to him almost proud and just beating.

Yet, he did flee before receiving

his proper due by our hand.

- More the like he'd be alive due to ineptitude

in what you claim to be as combative arts.

- Romeo can no longer make claim to human stock, m'liege.

- Speak not unto me in riddles, proud eunuch.

Romeo be of the Cyborg, Your Grace.

Ah, Romeo.

The depths of such stupidity within you

amaze even one such as I.

To be part machine and less than human.

Of course.

You be of the Montague.

One such as you will always be within denial

of the concept of dying without honor.

Is that not-

- From the excavation, days past.

Yes.

Father shall not miss it.

Yes, his enjoyment for its use upon time

must surely be spent by now.

Know you that the charge be limited.

As such, bring unto me this Robo-Romeo, most quick,

right and intact.

Ah-hah!

Let's see this eye.

No.

Romeo.

Oh.

Grant me forgiveness, m'lady.

Gazing upon such beauty comes at a cost of one's hearing.

Speak those words of gold yet again,

so that I may savor them in earnest.

My words, oh Romeo, were thus.

When shall be the day we meet yet again?

My dear Rosaline,

my wind shall always be beneath your wings.

Granted that I'll always be given access

to this back door whenever I need it.

Romeo.

So, fair lamb chop!

Be there pleasure within the nibblings of Montague sausage?

Pity it be poor in filling.

Unlike that of a Capulet.

- If this feast be for a rodent most small.

Vile blasphemer!

- The back door would be lost in the house as well!

I must leave post-haste to recover from such a mortal wound.

- Give me a shot. - I got it!

Back!

- Damn that debris left to the dung fields of Newtime.

- Methinks that agile aim be more of the norm,

we'd have concluded with this chase long ago.

- That diseased Montague would not stay still long enough

for me to get my shot on.

- Sir Samson, I've known you for many moons,

yet even if not, I'd know that you couldn't dock a ship

onto port, even if towed unto it.

By the starless night!

Never have I been insulted with such abounding.

Well then, my good friend, you should get out more,

as they're caught to be rightfully claimed.

So...

Here we be assembled, once more.

Pray tell.

Where do you hide our little Romeo, hm?

The choice of placement be most favorable,

as I've yet to feast an eye upon him, hm?

Hm? Hm?

Hm?

Hm?

We lay in failure, my grace.

Our lives be forfeit in your hands.

May Capulet mercy be known throughout the land.

Yes.

I must have missed the day of its teaching.

Who be there? Come hither.

- Why, I beg your forgiveness, fair one.

To startle you be not my intent.

My journey be to this bog known to all as despair,

when such light of your beauty brought me onto safe haven.

A light so bright that one such as I

could not ignore its very being.

Mine eyes see one of Cyborg stock,

yet mine ears hear words of one most high

in class and stature.

Further, you prove advancement in the art of flattery,

as well as that of style boldness with such statements,

to one such as I, who you just met.

- If to be bold means to speak as such, m'lady,

then I truly be of the bold.

But yet, in truth, I be but a fool.

One who be at the mercy of the beauty you so easily possess.

A fool who dares all as to taste the sweet nectar of honey

that be your lips.

- Wait! You know not who stands before you?

Truly?

If so, let it be known that this act that you pursue

would condemn you, most assuredly,

to darkness everlasting by the hands of my brother.

A thousand such fate shall I endure

for exchange of mere heartbeats with you.

As such will be the pleasure within me,

as I bathe in this radiance of this beauty before me.

You be quite the flatter, indeed.

Yet as much as these words please me, rest assured,

my pleasure be not worth the trials you described.

I be of the belief otherwise.

Tell me your name, fair one,

so that I may shout it upon the very stars themselves.

I be known to all as Juliet.

Ah.

Juliet! Such beauty has now been named!

Oh, Juliet, whose allure takes prisoner