Words and Pictures

[birds singing, water gently lapping ]

Dina'?

Oh, hey. Sorry, I'm late.

- No. - Are you ready?

Yes.

How you feeling? Are you nervous?

Stop.

I've brought three casseroles, and I put them in the fridge.

- Here. -

I can do this one.

Okay, here's your purse.

Your lunch is inside.

Um, there's a--

There's a ramp around the side if...

I'm fine.

Let's go, let's go.

Four minutes late, Mr. Marc.

Did you bring a note?

Stanhope, read aloud where we left off.

"Richard and I went across the road to the stubbly field,

"and I let him climb in the tractor saddle,

"and I showed him..."

Stanhope, you're a sleeping pill.

It's not me, it's--

It is you. Of course it's you.

You've already been accepted at MIT,

and you're wondering why you should care.

Why should Stanhope care about John Updike?

Who can answer this?

Who are you droids?

Where is my class that you've kidnapped and replaced?

He should care because Updike wrote...

"The lesson over,

"he went to the garden patch and joined his mother.

"He punched her stomach,

"and I watched them pretend to box.

"Above them, on a single strand of wire

"strung to bring our house electricity,

"grackles and starlings neatly punctuated an invisible sentence."

You ever heard that before?

Updike has handed you an image

that was never described before.

What do you think of his gift?

Oh!

Fine. You know?

While I take a nap, your assignment is to write

a never-before created image,

one that will shake me and cause me to put your work

in the next issue of the Croyden Lion.

Yes, Tammy?

You haven't graded our last three assignments,

and I don't know where I stand in this class,

and I need an "A" because I'm not accepted to Princeton yet,

and they'll take this quarter's grade into account.

What a dull, plodding sentence.

Of all the words you had to choose from,

all the possibilities of rhythm and sequence,

you gave me oatmeal

when you could have served me a New York steak.

Just write the assignment now, everyone.

Just one sentence that elevates humankind

with one image fresh-baked from the ovens

of your computer-deadened, shopping mall-suffocated minds.

Shaftner, wake up!

Write, you droids.

Write.

- Good morning, Jack. - Will.

You were late again.

Car trouble.

Who's the bastard that turned me in?

I am.

Why are you always late this year?

I don't know.

Why are you always dressed monochromatically?

I guess I do tend toward the look of a uniform.

Past life maybe.

You were an usher?

Come and see me in my office,

first period after lunch.

What, because I was late?

More. There's more.

Antihistamine.

Antihistamine.

- Ellen? - Not playing.

Not playing-

Walt? Antihistamine.

Uh, bifurcation.

Only four syllables. My point.

Don't encourage him.

Okay, bifurcational.

I'll accept.

So we're getting three of them today,

the teachers from that failed Croyden school.

Coextensively.

We're getting art honors.

Do you know who's teaching art honors?

No. - And what they call her?

Coextensively. - Will you stop?

Will you stop interrupting? It's Walt's turn.

Uh, diabolical, and I quit.

Who is this?

Dina Delsanto.

She's a very successful painter.

You couldn't afford to collect her.

The only thing Walt collects is lint.

So what do they call her?

The Icicle.

They say she caned a student.

She caned a kid?

That's nonsense.

They would have put her in prison.

- Well, let's check for a tattoo. -

Good morning.

I would like to introduce our new teachers--

Miss Elliot, Latin, Mr. Chow, Math,

and Miss Delsanto, Art Honors.

Please make them feel welcome.

Any questions, we'll defer to Walt,

'cause he's been teaching here since, uh,

when was it, 1842?

Two.

This way. I will show you to your classes.

Miss Delsanto, make yourself at home, please.

Excuse me.

Mr. Chow, I will see you later today.

Thank you.

Hi.

My name's Jack Marcus.

Kids call me Mr. Marc.

And now you say your name.

Uh, we were introduced.

Oh, I never listen to the headmaster.

So what do you teach?

Art Honors.

Hence the scarf.

And you?

Honors English.

Hence the hence.

Feel like a warm-up game?

Uh, no.

I say a five-syllable word that starts with

you say a five-syllable word that starts with

and we go on until someone is stumped.

Antihistamine.

Antihistamine.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

All right, I'll allow that.

Carolingian.

Now, you can challenge my word if you think it's wrong,

but if you lose the challenge, it's an extra point for me.

Carolingian.

Divertimento.

Italian, not allowed.

Oh, you didn't stipulate English.

Of course the game's in English.

Carolingian.

Five English syllables, please.

Dumb-dumber-dumbest.

All right, I'll allow that.

Examination. "F" to you.

Fffff!

This is the lounge, isn't it?

Would you please allow me to lounge?

Certamente, Signorina.

Thank you.

There's just one thing.

Did you really hit a student with that cane?

No. It was a teacher.

[ Gasps 1 Feasibility.

Hey, don't. Just--

Come on! Shh!

Morning.

Morning.

Afternoon.

Miss Delsanto, we'd hoped you'd bring in some of your paintings.

My favorites are the ones that you did

when you lived in, um, New York.

Personally, I'm a fan of your more figurative work.

Swint!

And we're so glad that you chose our little town.

I didn't choose.

Well, but moving from New York to the country, I...

Family.

So you want to know why I moved out of the city, hmm?

Interesting.

And odd, because I have no curiosity at all about your private lives.

I don't need to get to know you.

I don't need anyone's life story.

We're not going to become good friends,

and I'm not the kind of teacher

you're going to come back to visit when you're all grown up,

bringing a box of chocolates and a Hallmark card.

No.

Whose work is this?

Oh, uh, that's mine, Gloria Belser.

This is skill.

We all appreciate skill.

The dictionary says "art is human creative skill."

So if you accept that definition, this is art, correct?

What's your definition, Miss?