The Madwoman of Chaillot

At ease.

Gentlemen, I will be brief.

You've completed your training.

And now, you stand ready to take your places in the front ranks

of the regiments your forefathers made famous.

Your superiors have sought to lighten the load

our nation has been forced to carry.

We have divested ourselves of our colonial possessions.

We've broken our historic ties with United States

and with an island once known as Great Britain.

We've made no detente with the Russians

or with the Germans.

We stand alone.

Proud, independent, glorious.

We are today, after Homeric efforts and sacrifices

a nuclear power, we have the bomb.

My generation assures you

who inherit the fruits of our labors

that if and when, sooner or later

Europe is incinerated

France will not be found wanting.

A French bomb will explode with the others.

No, no.

- No, no, no. - What is this outrage?

Why? I've nothing to do with them.

I'm an honest, law-abiding woman.

- No, madame... - And I'm on an import...

Great find.

From the men's room of The Apartheid Club in Johannesburg.

Great find.

Great find.

You know how much I paid for it?

I paid a million Francs for that.

For one million Francs, you can have my whole toilet.

- Now. - No, not now.

- What are you doin' in here? - What does it look like?

- I'm bleeding to death. - On my towels?

Don't worry. Have 'em framed. They might be worth something.

How did it happen?

Did it, uh, did it happen in bed?

Some of us are wounded in the streets.

I demand to know what you were doing at that time?

You want some lemon mousse?

What do you think you're doing?

You come in here. You come in here.

You walk straight through your auntie's bedroom.

You use my bathroom.

I should like to remind you of something.

There is such a thing as common politeness.

Get out, you! Get out! Out!

I don't have to be grateful for your charity.

I can move out.

What would you do if you moved out?

- I should live. - You'd starve.

- You would end up in a toilet. - Big deal.

All these on the wall, be just like home.

You know what you are, you're a Rolls-Royce Communist.

You want to travel to the barricades first class.

- On my money. - Wealth like yours.

It's acquired through the blood and toil of others.

It's dirty money. I know.

Have you noticed this one?

From the men's room of the YMCA, Jerusalem.

Hebrew graffiti is almost unknown, you know.

- No, I didn't know. - What does it do to you?

- Do to me? - Yes, does it shock you?

Does it excite you? What does it do to you?

- It just saddens me. - What does that mean?

When they dig this up in the 40th century

they'll learn more from these things than the new testament.

How can it sadden you?

When I was at school, I used to draw those.

You should've kept 'em. Cornered the market.

Alright, I'll liberate you from your sad conscience.

What do you want most? You wanna change the world?

I want my generation to have a voice.

You wanna get rid of the establishment.

- Make a new establishment. - A better one.

That goes without saying. They're always better.

Until they...until they are proved the same.

Go back and finish your breakfast.

And shut the door.

So use me. Make use of my filthy money.

My power if you like. I'll make you a present of it.

Here.

You want to save mankind.

This is the instrument.

What is it?

It's the means to justify the ends.

Because if you have to clean out a sewer

you need to get your hands dirty.

Inside this suitcase is the very latest type of plastic bomb.

It's okay, it's not fused yet.

In room 22, in the Palais de Chaillot

now, at this moment, there's a meeting going on.

A meeting which could decide your future and mine.

Now, at this very instant, a group of men are planning

to crush China with nuclear weapons.

Even at the risk of starting World War III.

Serious family men who go to church

when the newsreel cameras are rolling

and kiss their children goodnight.

Just faceless, ordinary monsters.

If you want to live with your conscience, do us all a favor.

The Chinese included.

Blow them up.

Then come back, and we'll talk about your principles.

Rosary?

Oh.

Mr. Commissar. How are you?

And again, please don't worry. Have faith like me.

Now, a gentleman whom I don't know

will meet us at the cafe over here.

He'll give us our answer.

- He's a genius. - You don't know him

- and yet you say he's a genius? - I give you my word.

I've never laid my eyes on him. Yet, when eventually we meet

we'll know each other to the depths of our souls.

- My dear Commissar. - Ah.

You know the General, I think, by repute anyway.

Berlin '45. Those were good days.

The best.

Reverend, sorry we're late. The traffic, I'm afraid.

Mr. Chairman.

Like the poor, the Citroens breed like flies.

The General, here.

- General, pleased to meet you. - Reverend.

I hope we're not going to have appalling service.

- No, I've briefed them, sir. - Well, hurry them up, Julius.

You know, it's the same thing with domestic help.

We're actually down to four gardeners.

What will you have? I told them to get in my special scotch.

Fine, fine.

You don't mind, I'll stay on coke.

- Monsieur. - Oh, there you are.

Bring my own scotch. And one coke and some cigars.

Sure.

God! Beau. Did you get that?

- Hmm. - Hmm.

- It's not every man's poison. - It reminds me of my childhood.

- Tell him to bring the bottle. - Bottle?

The scotch. I want the bottle on the table.

You see, I know these people. I came from them.

Fortunately, I escaped.

You came from a poor family, did you, Mr. Chairman?

I believe, I was one of 11. I'm not sure.

Mother spent most of her life bent over a wash tub

in order to send me to a good school.

I'll always be grateful to her.

But you know...I just can't remember her face.

In fact, my only memories of her

are of a rather large rear-view as it were.

Oh, what have we here?

- Please don't encourage them. - No, thank you.

They'll make things impossible for us.

Just go away, will you? We're not here to buy things.

What are we doing here, by the way?

What I always admired about the Commissar

is that he never lets the grass grow in Wall Street.

Our first task is to find a name.

We can't smoke this.

What do you think we are, travelling salesmen?

Bring us a selection of Habanos.

A name that will stir the pulse. It will set the brain up well.

That will inspire confidence like a cathedral.

You want suggestions, eh?

All we have is a blank space.

I think the word "miracle" has a certain ring to it.

Yes, but that's been overworked by the Japanese.

No, I was thinking of something like, uh

United General International.

Yes, that's very good. It's very good.

That was just an example.

It's already been used, that one.

Too bad.

It isn't my line. That's a lot better.

We can try these, gentlemen.

- General. - Thank you.

- Excuse me? Did you drop this? - What? I never drop anything.

- Then this money isn't yours? - All money is mine.

It actually was yours, was it?

It was certainly more mine than his.

Hundred Franc notes are for the rich, not the poor.

Waiter. Will you see that we are not disturbed.

This place is like a circus.

I'll get that.

Get him away, too.

- What's he doing? - I don't know, sir.

Only Irma understands him. Irma.

What's all this about?

Oh, he says it is a very beautiful morning, sir.

But it was nicer before you stuck your face into it.

I'm sorry about all these disturbances.

Now, uh, what were we saying?

- The name. The name. - Oh, yes.

Well, it's my reputation.

In the course of my life

I personally organized 11 great corporations.

On the basis of 11 magnificent names.

You can appreciate this one