Las Vegas

Previously on Las Vegas.

You're looking especially fine today.

I don't date older men, Mike.

You were sick that day, weret you, miss Chae?

Yeah, very bad gas, Diarrhea. You no want smell that one.

Mike, we're going with piper to steal a bartender.

- Wow. That is impressive. - Think you can handle it?

Mike Cannon can hold his liquor. You do your best to hold yours.

- You got married? To piper? - Yeah.

Can I get a soul clap?

- Soul clap? - Oh, god.

What time do you want me To pick you up for the annulment?

I thought we were gonna... Date first. Makes it special.

He's afraid that if I have sex with him too soon, It's gonna ruin it.

- But that's wonderful. - I marry a man, and he acts like a woman?

They are so still married.

- Are you sure? - Take a look.

- You coming home? - I don't know.

What's your thread count er there? I don't get busy on anything under 600.

It's 350, and you'll like it.

- Morning. - Morning.

- Well... - Yeah, well.

Well.

Look at the time.

I got a lot to do today.

Yeah, me too. I gotta get rolling.

Yeah.

- Okay! Yeah. - Yep!

Can I help you?

Yeah, do you have these in, baby sizes?

Yes, right over here.

For a boy or a girl?

I don't know.

They're so tiny.

Is it for a gift?

- For a friend, for a niece, for a nephew? - For me.

Or for my boy... girl.

I'm gonna be dad.

Say that again?

Rocky Mountain Do-Si-Doers.

What is with the "do" and the "si". I don't get it.

What's there to get? What are they doing here?

I don't know, some Country-Western dance thing.

First-Time Gamblers. I have to show them around the whole casino And teach them each game.

Poor baby.

I think it would be fun.

You know, showing people how to play games of chance For the first time.

Breathing's fun in your present hormonal ste.

I have turned into a Bliss Ninny, haven't I?

A, there's my whale.

What's his story?

He's one of the last dot-Comer zillionaires. Impeccable taste, great body,

Kind, generous, you know.

Where do I sign up?

You don't, because he's gay, and you're married.

I can't believe you told her!

Everyone knows. No one cares.

- So... - What?

Last night...

It was...

What?

It was prettawful.

My god, I always thought he would be fantastic in bed.

You fantasize about him?

No, I mean, he's Danny's best friend.

I just... god, what happened?

Itasn't all his fault.

I mean, I certainly did not give my best performance.

Don't worry about it. The sex always gets better. You know that.

Maybe.

But on a scale of one to ten, It was a three.

And I just can't live with a three!

- A three? - Okay, ladies and gentlemen...

Three?

Let's start with the blackjack table, Shall we? Right this way.

Beautiful dress. Love those boots. Jimmy Choo?

Hello.

I've missed you desperately, Sam.

- Of course you did. - And I have a surprise for you.

This...

is my grandmother Roberta.

Hello, Roberta.

Call me Robbie.

Never call me Roberta.

Hello, Robbie. Welcome to the Montecito.

I want to you entertain her while i'm here.

Of course. Sure.

But what will you do?

Don't worry about me. I know the drill.

I'm heading for the craps table. Sam will take care of you.

Okay.

I'll see you at dinner?

- Bye! - Bye.

So, Robert, R-Robbie.

What is it that you like to do?

One thing, and one thing only.

What's that?

Play bingo.

Welcome to quarter horse racing from allentown park,

Pennsylvania. Ladies and gentlemen,

We have got a full day of racing, 14 of them in all,

Featuring eight noses per.

These are the fastest quarter horses In the united States of America,

Vying for a combined purse of over $5 million.

- My! - It's all greek to me.

Wait!

There's a horse named Athena the great.

That must be an omen.

I don't know a thing about horses. Obviously.

It's never too latto learn.

- Cooper. - Isabelle.

What do you think of this one?

Kool bet? Four to one odds.

Good winning percentage. Trainer's pretty well known.

That's him up there, number six.

Looks alert. Not too skittish.

Is that good?

Yes.

Why do they call them quarter horses?

Because they're extremely fast. At short distances, like the quarter mile.

Races only last about 25 seconds.

So... what do you think? Kool bet?

Sounds good.

Aren't you betting?

No, i'm not a horse betting kind of guy.

All right.

Thank you.

Have you done a dry run to the hospital yet?

What?

Danny, all the books say you must doa dry run to the hospital

From your home, your place of work,

- Or any place where you spend. - Significant amounts of time.

What, Danny, what is wrong?

Do you want your baby born on the floor of a '69 Camaro?

Of course,

it would be kind of cool. I mean, people ask where your baby was born,

You say, "my'69 Cam..."

- Okay. Okay, fine. - I'll do it today. Okay.

And we need a woman to go with us To play Delinda.

No. Why? Why?

Because first-Time mothers need to be helped, Sometimes even carried into the car.

You tellin' me you wanna take Delinda?

She's 28 weeks pregnant. That would be cruel.

No, we need someone to simulate a pregnant woman.

Who? How about Sam?

Yeah.

- Yeah, i'm not taking Sam. - Okay, bad idea.

What, what. How about Piper?

- Your wife? - D-Don't call her tcyt.

Okay, what happened?

What happened?

- On a scale of ten? - Yeah. Four.

- Really? - Yeah. And, you know what?

I was probably... a three.

- You're kidding me. - I can't figure out what happened.

Well, I know what happened. You had married sex.

See, Dillon and I are still dating.

Dating sex is always better than married sex--Always.

Yeah, well, we can't ask piper to go on a dry run.

I think i'm gonna try to avoid her for the rest of the day.

Okay, then, who do we ask?

Go, polly, go, polly

- No. Yeah. - Mike, no. Yeah. I...

Las Vegas S05E17 Win, Place, Bingo.

Yeah, here they come, down on the final stretch.

It's down to the wire.

Erica's tie, Rudy Rudy, and cute Kylie!

Stay tuned for more from allentown. Coming up, the next...

Well, he was moving up there at the end. You know, another day, who knows?

Isabel, I found the mother lode. This guy just won

The first three races.

That's fantast.

What's your secret, mr...

Skinner. Hi. But just call me Pete.

Cooper.

Boy, you know, I like to think of it as a shifting science stupide day.

Fueled by just a little bit of luck? Generally, I just ignore The history of the horse, though.

To me, it's all about the moment before the race.

How the jockey Sits at the saddle, how the, How the horse takes the bit.

- That kind of thing. - Isn't that fascinating?

Yeah. Who do you like in the fourth?

I went with number seven, into the abyss.

I liked the way the jockey was talking to him on the way to the gate.

Kinda like they had an understanding.

Yeah.

So what horse do you like, Cooper?

Cayden's charm.

And they're off. Number 8, cayden's charm, leaves the rail,

Quicy opens up a length of two on cacophony...

Come on, into the abyss!

And here comes into the abyss. He blows through the pack,

Passes sid's sedan and Cayden's charm And opens up a length.

And he'll win the fourth race going away!

Oh, my!

That's four in a row. That's amazing!

Yeah! I like it!

Hey, Sam, how's it hangin'? Not bad. Fresh meat?

Here you be.

I never had you figured for a bingo type.

Oh, yeah.