Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

1x04 - New Friend, Old Enemy

Master Shredder.

I trust that my greatest pupil has been using that time wisely.

I have assembled an army of ninjas. The Foot Clan awaits your orders.

Excellent.

Because I've discovered an old enemy in New York.

Hamato Yoshi.

Hamato Yoshi? Alive?

And he is training ninjas of his own.

Finally, I will finish what I started all those years ago.

I want them all wiped out.

- I will not fail you, master. - I know.

But to be certain, you will work alongside Xever.

I don't need any help. Especially from this street rat.

- Are you sure, rich boy? - Anytime you want to test me...

I am not interested in your petty rivalry!

Xever is familiar with the dark underbelly of this city.

You will work together.

Don't worry, master Shredder.

We will find Splinter and his disciples and destroy them.

Yeah!

Check it out!

Top that, turtle chumps!

All right, guys. Check this out.

- Whoa! - Cute, kiddies.

Hey, what was that? You didn't do any flips.

Oops.

Don't give up, Leo. You might actually win this fight.

It's a little kitty.

- And its name is... - Mittens!

Good guess. Wait, who said that?

Mittens?

I think that's the owner.

- What are you doing? - Whoa, hey!

Mikey, wait!

What? I'm returning Mittens to her owner.

Are you an idiot? Wait... let me rephrase that.

- You're an idiot! - You can't show yourself to a human.

Why not?

Because they'll freak the heck out, that's why not.

No, they won't. I'm not so scary.

You're an ugly, green mutant armed with ninja weapons.

Look, this guy's gonna see that I'm just

a regular, cat-loving dude like him.

Next thing you know, we'll be best buds. This is gonna be awesome!

- No! - Don't!

- Wait! - Mittens!

Hi. Here's your...

Ugly, green mutant freak!

- But I got your cat! - Help! He's got my cat!

Dude, chill! I'm just...

Someone want to help me with this?

- No. - No.

Face it. Humans will never understand you.

Heck, we don't even understand you.

Yeah.

But I bet that guy would!

Chris Bradford. The martial arts superstar.

With a chain of dojos across the country.

He's your soul mate?

- We've got so much in common. - What if you stop standing like that?

We'll have a little less in common, but still a lot.

And look, he's in town for a Martial Arts Expo.

Maybe he'll show me his secret kata, "the death dragon."

And I'll show him my secret kata, "the secret kata."

- Catchy. - Check it out.

- But don't tell anyone you saw that. - No problem.

Face it, Mikey, Chris Bradford is the last person on Earth

that would be friends with you.

Well, tied for last, with everyone else on Earth.

- Ninjas? In New York? - Other than us?

Why are you so happy?

It's just nice to finally be fighting people,

instead of robots, or aliens, or weed-monsters.

What are you?

Their leader was crazy good,

by which I mean he was good and seemed a little crazy.

Besides, he had all these guys with him.

- It... it wasn't a fair fight. - What do you mean, "fair fight"?

A fair fight, you know, where either side could win?

So a fair fight is a fight you could lose.

Well, yes, but...

- Well, what I... what I mean is... - You don't want to assure your victory.

No, I do, but...

Ow! Hey!

- Was that fair? - No!

Did I win?

- I see your point. - Seek victory, not fairness.

Hai, sensei.

Whoa, that's rad!

Oh, I wish me and Chris Bradford were friends!

Mikey, you already have a human friend.

- Me! - April, you don't count.

We saved your life, you have to like us.

Too bad there's no place for freaks to meet people

where no one can see how hideous they are.

Wait, there is... the internet! Donnie, can I see your laptop?

Uh, y... uh, sure! Just a sec.

Check it out, it's a site where you can make friends

- with anybody online. - Sweet!

Ohh, Chris Bradford's on here!

He'll be my first friend!

Mikey, people don't always respond immed...

But sometimes they do.

No way! Chris Bradford has accepted my friendship!

I have a friend! Thanks, April!

- Where are you going? - Hey!

To hang out with my friend, Chris Bradford.

This guy's famous. He probably has thousands of "friends."

And guess who's number 5,286?

- You? - Daniel Ramirez!

And I'm right next to him. Later!

- Well, this ought to be interesting. - Should we go after him?

Eh, he's gotta learn somehow.

What up? Hey. I'm...

I'm being attacked by Chris Bradford!

This is so cool!

No, wait! We're...

- Whoa! Friends! - What?

We're online friends! You accepted me, remember?

Oh. Of course.

Nice to meet you.

Uh... Won't you come in?

They must have been watching us from here.

The perfect place to stage an ambush.

It wasn't very fair, was it?

It's not about fairness. It's about victory.

Okay, I'm sorry.

And then... and then Chris Bradford put on his hakama.

Man, that guy can rock a hakama!

Yeah, maybe he'll wear it again when he takes you to the prom.