Fresh Off the Boat

Why does your mother have to announce

who's hosting Thanksgiving at 5:30 in the morning?

It's her ritual, Louis.

She wakes up at 4:00, sweeps the driveway,

looks at old photographs next to a candle,

then calls.

But your mom chooses Connie and Steve to host every year.

And Connie never lets me forget it.

But this year is different.

We live in Florida now.

I've been sending crates of these babies

to my mother for weeks.

Who could say no to this face?

"Juice-ica."

Mom, what have you decided?

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Yes! Yes!

S02E058 Huangsgiving

Why are you staring at the phone?

We already got the good news... We're hosting Thanksgiving.

I'm waiting for the loser's concession call.

Huang residence.

Congratulations, sister.

I'm excited to spend Thanksgiving at your house this year.

I just hope we can do as good a job as you and Steve.

Don't forget to bring your famous potato salad.

- Can't wait. - Can't wait.

It's on like Donkey Kong.

Connie can't wait to see us crash and burn in front of mom.

Well, lucky for us, I run a semi-successful restaurant.

Together, we can make this Thanksgiving great.

If not, it's back to D.C., potato salad,

and Steve making everybody play charades.

How was I supposed to know that was Ronald McDonald?

He was just miming a big afro.

Your guess made everyone uncomfortable.

Boys, big news!

This year, we're hosting Thanksgiving.

Nice! Sweet! Yay!

I can't wait to hang with cousin Justin

and listen to music.

But you like rap and he likes grunge.

I have found our common ground.

Pearl Jam.

"Pearl Jam"?

That's what I'm calling mayonnaise from now on.

So, unless anybody needs to use the bathroom

for a third time...

I drink a lot of juice, okay?

I call this Thanksgiving planning session to order.

This year, we're going to create our own traditions

and blow everyone's mind.

I thought I would invite mom's favorite person, Oscar Chow.

I hope you don't mind that I borrowed this robe.

Very swish.

They like to re-enact scenes from "Dynasty."

Also, since Connie always buys canned cranberry sauce,

I've decided I would make my own.

Excellent. Evan and Emery?

We'll take the table decorations.

The theme... "harvest hoedown."

Or "polar bear pilgrims."

"Harvest hoedown."

We had an arm-wrestle, and I won.

Great. Eddie?

I...Promise not to bump into stuff?

That's a nice thought,

but let's not make any promises we can't keep.

Now, on to the big ideas.

First, at Steve and Connie's Thanksgiving,

everybody plays charades.

Boo!

But at "Huangsgiving," we play...

Monopoly!

Yay!

Second, aren't you sick of having to fight

over one measly roast duck at Steve and Connie's?

Last year, I got the beak.

That's why at Huangsgiving, we don't serve duck.

No.

We serve...

individual cornish hens.

They're the personal pizzas of the bird world.

I'm gonna eat mine with my hands, like a cookie.

Here they come!

- Hello. - Hey!

Hello.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Whoa.

Why do you look like a taxicab?

I'm straight-edge ska now.

Happy "Skanksgiving."

Yo, Justin. Got the new Pearl Jam.

Grunge is dead.

It's like chasing the wind.

Where's Steve?

Oh. He's driving separately.

Oh. He did that last time.

It's okay... Must have accidentally knocked

the keys out of the ignition with my knee.

Wow, Steve. Nice... Car?

Geo.

Oh, forget it! I can't do this!

I can't pretend anymore!

You just got here.

Steve and I drove separately because...

our marriage is on the rocks.

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Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, ma.

I was just waiting for the right time.

Don't leave me, Connie.

Get ahold of yourself, Steve. Nobody wants to see this.

Now, if you'll all excuse me,

I'm going to go cry into some bath towels.

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What does this mean for the table?

We had them sharing a love seat made of hay!

It's been kind of rough with Connie and I

since our last visit here,

when she found out about our financial situation.

You, uh, brought your computer again.

The Internet is the only connection

I can count on right now.

I feel so bad for them.

Their marriage is fine, Louis.

This is just classic Connie trying to steal focus.

Remember when she was late for our wedding

because she got hit by a car?

Or my college graduation,

when she contracted lyme disease?

She said she got it from petting a baby deer.

Who pets a deer? What is she, snow white?!

So, come on down to my Thanksgiving day sale!

Remember, I'm across from the big q...

Which is putting me out of business.

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I hate to be a bother,

but Steve and I can't sleep in the same room,

what with our marriage falling apart!

It wouldn't be a problem if we were hosting.

We have extra bedrooms...

Uhp-bup-bup-bup-bup. Not a problem.

Steve can sleep on the sofa.

It's a pull-out!

Mmmmmmm!

Great.

Louis Huang, I'm impressed.

Connie is no match for the both of us.

Now, you go to bed.

I'll stay up and finish prepping.

We're going to throw the best damn Huangsgiving

your mother's ever seen.

You're really committed to that name, huh?

That's the shortened version.

The full name is Louis Huang's Huangsgiving

featuring Louis and the Huangs.

She stopped doing my laundry. Did I tell you that?

Look... These used to be white.

Why is laundry so hard?

Okay, you're all set here.

Got a lot of prep to do for tomorrow, so...

Have one drink with me.

I'd love to, but I...

Come on, Louis.

I really need this right now.

Oh, I see some whiskers.

Could it be everybody's favorite tabby?

Garfield.

It is!

Here comes...

Heathcliff!

So, come on down to my Thanksgiving day sale.

Remember, what I don't sell, I have to burn!

Louis! Where have you been? Nothing is done!

I thought you said you were going to...

Wait a minute.

Why do you smell like a Korean hotel?

Um, well...

Go, go, go.

Steve and I had just one drink before bed...

Whoo!

And then, we talked some business.

I bet this is all part of Steve and Connie's plan

to sabotage our Thanksgiving!

I just need a couple of Aspirin and a shower,

and I'll be back to 100%.

Besides, I'm sure Steve is feeling

even worse than me this morning.

Hey, Louis. Think fast. Blueberry muffin comin' at ya.

How are you not hungover?

Oh, I can't get drunk anymore.

My blood is 100% alcohol at this point.

Oh, hey, uh, thanks for the, uh, relationship advice last night.

I'm gonna do it... today... Just like you said.