Wallflower

Dear Mr. Rawlings,

I'm writing this letter to you in an effort

to apologize for a stupid drunken act that I committed

about this time a year ago.

I am to blame for the shooting

of your moose on the loose known as Daphne.

And I don't really know what to say to you

or how exactly to apologize

but I want you to know that

this act was not a personal attack.

And that it was not intended

to bring you or your family any sort of stress.

I did what I did mostly because of the influence of alcohol.

I know that this is not a very good excuse

but I still hope that you can accept this sincere apology.

I'm very sorry about this.

Please forgive me for any stress this has caused you.

- So I got that old kinda World War II gas mask

and I had to figure out a way to pump

or like siphon, suck a bunch of pot smoke in it.

And I got really, real fuckin' high.

And I couldn't figure out how to take it off.

You didn't want to.

I didn't.

And I just had this moment where everything

in the universe made sense.

- Yeah, you became everything.

- I didn't become anything I just, I just saw

that there was not a difference in what is and what is not.

Does that make sense?

Which I know it doesn't.

Because I can hear the words coming out of my mouth.

It's hard to, it's hard to explain now

but I was just, it was like a moment of,

you ask, okay so there's the universe

and you ask what is, what is it composed of.

It's me and but in this case you know,

what I realized was that it's,

like it's a conjunctive--

- Maybe-- - Maybe.

- You were just really high.

Yeah, I was really high.

That's the story.

But what have I've been saying this whole fuckin' story.

I was really high on drugs.

Okay.

I was naked too.

Yeah, (mumbles).

Oh.

I just thought I'd enrich the experience

of listening to the story.

You were naked?

I was naked.

Elaborate on that.

Wait.

I like your style sir I will elaborate

on my own nude form.

It was glistening like an adonis.

Like a symbol of virility.

A wolf in the wild if you will.

Yeah, beastly.

- But the thing I don't understand

about God is how he could created himself.

Don't look at me.

- Maybe, maybe she always existed, he.

- Yeah, that doesn't make any sense either though.

- I know it doesn't make sense it's a paradox.

Paradoxes don't make sense.

That's their jams.

They're little, those German eggs that you pop open

and then there's no sense inside them.

What are they called?

Kinder eggs.

I just little want a little (mumbles).

'cause you know they're very smart.

- I don't know, 2,000-- - What the fuck?

Hey man.

Oh fuck.

Shit!

Please stop!

Pleased don't-- - Go, go!

- Oh my God. - Oh fuck!

[Holy shit!

Shit!

I'm shot, I'm shot.

Don't shot!

I don't love you anymore.

- I couldn't get in your apartment building

so I left some flowers and a note by the front door.

I know I probably freaked you out

and left you that long ass drunken message

but you should call me back.

I mean it's been a week and I'm starting to get worried.

- I'm gonna fucking kill myself.

I'm gonna fucking kill myself.

- All right well if you're not gonna even bother

to show me the respect to call me back

and let me know what's going on

fuck you, you stupid fucking whore.

Don't you ever come near me again.

You hear me.

Stay the fuck away from me.

Stay the fuck!

Hi, it's me.

I'm sorry that I left those angry messages earlier.

Look I know that we don't really know each other that well

but I'd really like to talk to somebody.

This is revolution brother the most important thing

to happen since man began.

I hope that you will find this letter after the fact.

Don't let the police or FBI keep you from having it.

This is my last wish for you to see this.

This is something I feel I have to do.

My life would always feel incomplete otherwise.

I hate this world of sex they're striving to make.

I will never be able to come with them.

I will always see it as hell.

The basic gist of it is that they're fuckin' next to us

when we're really high to make us freak out.

And trying to stop our heart by making it palpitate.

And they're doing it,

it's just a question if we're willing to be okay with it.

And obviously I'm not.

- This is Willis, leave a message.

I might call you back.

I know that it's gonna get worse now

but that's part of it.

Maybe some day you'll be willing

to help me kill this hippie shit.

Bye.

I love you.

- Shit, I'm not even on anything yet but I am excited.

(mumbles)

I told you to put it in the fucking trash.

I was just so curious, I had no idea.

And all I wanted to know was there anything else (mumbles).

Hey buddy.

Just to give you a heads up

you're kind of in the boner danger zone right now.

What?

- You're in the danger zone for boners.

Boners.

Well one, just one boner.

Yours.

Yeah.

- Oh God, thank you for, thanks for the heads up.

You're welcome.

- Yeah. - I'm doing my civic duty.

Yeah, that's disgusting.

It's not disgusting.

That's what happens,

blood flows to the penis and it gets bigger.

Oh God my head caused that.

Yeah.

How you doing?

I'm rolling balls man.

I'm sweatin'.

Just sitting here sweatin'.

But how you doing?

Let's not talk about her

because when I talk about her I start thinking about her

and I start thinking how I wanna kill her

and then how I wanna kill that slut she's with

and then I start thinking I wanna kill myself.

So I rather talk about anything else.

Yeah, let's not talk about that,

just put her off the table for things to talk about.

Thank you.

Hey.

Are you okay?

Are you okay?