Simpsons The XXX Parody (Simpsons: The XXX Parody)

Imagine a world

where temperatures rise to 120 degrees Fahrenheit,

where there's no escape from sun, wind and dust.

Imagine a world with almost no food or water.

These are the conditions in one-third of the lands of our planet.

To live here

demands the most extraordinary survival strategies.

This is the oldest desert in the world.

The Namib in southwest Africa.

It's been dry for 55 million years.

Life here for a hunter is as hard as it gets.

A pride of lions,

one of the very few

that endures this desert's scorching temperatures

and lack of water.

Hunting here presents special problems.

A herd of oryx,

the only prey within 20 miles.

Out here, there is no cover for an ambush.

It will have to be a straight chase.

They have failed,

and each failed hunt brings the lions closer to starvation.

To find enough to eat,

the pride continually searches an area the size of Switzerland.

Three days and 100 miles later,

and still, no kill.

These are desperate times.

A dry riverbed on the edge of their territory.

The only animals here are giraffe.

But these one-tonne giants could kill a lion

with a single kick.

Lions seldom tackle such formidable prey.

But this pride can't go on much longer

- without food. - (PANTING)

The whole pride must work together as a team,

if they're to succeed.

Two lionesses lead the chase.

Others race to cut off possible escape routes.

The giraffe has the speed and stamina to outrun the pride.

But it's being chased into a trap.

Up ahead, the lead female waits.

It's now up to her.

Most lion hunts end in failure.

But no lions fail more often than those that live in the desert.

Once again,

the pride must continue their search.

It does sometimes rain in the desert.

Here in the American West,

storms can strike with devastating force.

After 10 months of drought, millions of tons of water

are dumped on the land in under an hour.

Over millions of years,

sand and gravel carried by the rampaging floods

have carved channels through the solid rock.

Slot canyons, 150 feet deep.

In some places, these canyons have widened

until the land between them is sculpted into table lands and isolated pinnacles,

some of the most dramatic landscapes on the planet.

The rain may be long gone,

but there is water here,

- (BIRD SQUAWKING) - (CRICKETS CHIRPING)

locked away within the tissues of specialist desert plants.

Cacti are unique to American deserts.

They all hoard water, storing it in swollen stems,

and protecting it behind a barricade of spines.

They're so successful that they dominate these deserts.

But this forest of spikes

can cause problems for the animals that live here.

A Harris's hawk.

It has developed special techniques for hunting amongst the cacti.

Ground squirrels.

Prey.

At the first sign of danger, they bolt for the safety of the thorns.

But the hawks have a tactic to flush them out.

These are the only birds of prey that hunt in packs.

Flying in formation,

they try to drive their quarry into the open.

But this squirrel is staying put.

So now the hawks continue the hunt

on foot.

They're closing in from all sides.

Soon, all escape routes are cut off.

The squirrel is trapped.

The spines that cover almost every plant in this desert

can provide protection and shelter for many animals.

So, why should these spikes be hung with corpses?

What kind of creature could be responsible

for creating such a gruesome scene?

There's a mysterious killer at work in this desert.

It's a butcher bird.

This little song bird uses the spines as a butcher uses his hook,

to hold its prey as it dismembers it.

And with chicks to feed, he also uses the spines as a larder.

He's been stocking it for weeks.

Hanging his prey out of the reach of scavengers on the ground

ensures that his newly-hatched young will never go hungry.

An ingenious solution

to making the good times last in the desert,

if a little macabre.

Some deserts are so arid,

they appear totally devoid of all vegetation.

Yet even these landscapes

can be transformed

in a matter of days.

The deserts of Peru are amongst the driest in the world.

But just add a little water,

and plants that have lain dormant for months

will burst into life.

And when a desert suddenly turns green,

even the most seemingly desolate

can become a land of opportunity.

No creature exploits the greening of a desert more quickly,

or more dramatically,

than a locust.

Madagascar's arid southwest

has received its highest rainfall in years.

Now, an army is on the march,

attracted by the smell of newly-sprouting grass.

Locusts are normally solitary creatures,

but when food becomes suddenly plentiful,

they come together into an unstoppable force

that devours everything in its path.

But this devastation is about to get a lot worse.

The locusts now transform into winged adults.

And with conditions as good as this,

they do so three times faster than normal.

Now, they are at their most voracious.

And with wings, they can take to the skies.

Once airborne, the locusts can travel over 60 miles a day

in their search for new feeding grounds.

A super-swarm of this scale may only appear once in a decade.

This one extends over 200 square miles

and contains several billion individuals.

Between them, they will devour 40,000 tonnes of food in a day.

Nothing can strip a land of its vegetation with such speed

and thoroughness as a plague of locusts.

When the food eventually runs out, the whole army will die.

But not before it's devastated the land.

With no plants to bind them,

thin soils soon turn to dust and blow away.

Now, these barren lands are left to the mercy of the elements.

Scorched by the sun and scoured by windblown sand,

desert rock is shaped into strange, otherworldly landscapes.

These rocky deserts may have a beguiling beauty,

but when they become this barren, very little life can endure.

For many animals,

the only way to survive the most hostile times

is to keep moving.

In the Kalahari,

brief rains have given way to the dry season.

Food and water are becoming increasingly scarce.

For these zebra, it's time to leave.

They are setting off on the longest over-land migration

made by any mammal in Africa,

marching towards the scent of distant rains.

As drought intensifies,

desert-living elephants must also undertake long journeys

in search of water.

The older females can remember where, even in times of extreme drought,

there may still be water,

and sometimes lead the herd

to a waterhole they may not have visited for decades.

These zebra are almost at the end of their journey.

This is what they've been heading for.

A rare waterhole.

In deserts, most waterholes are short-lived.

They appear after rains,

but then vanish almost as quickly as they came.

Animals have come here from many miles around.

Yet, this can be a dangerous place in which to linger.

Sixty miles away, in the heart of the desert,

sandgrouse chicks are hatching.

It's safer for them to be here.

But being so distant from water is a gamble.

With only their mother to shield them from the sun,

if they get nothing to drink,

they will be dead within hours.

Their only hope is their father.

Every morning, he makes the 120-mile round trip

to get water for the family.

Grouse from all over the desert visit this oasis,

arriving together in large flocks.

And that is important.

There's safety in numbers.

The male snatches a drink,