Veneno

This wine is so good, girls! It just brightens things up.

Look at the paella.

-It smells so good, right? -Keep stirring.

You may be cooking, but don’t stop looking.

Bring me some water.

You'll see how this turns out with these beans thrown in.

-Make sure they're quality beans. -Write:

the best days were Thursdays.

next Fridays, and then the weekend when there was less work.

-And why was that? -Because the clients were married.

Not all of them, sure. They came to us after work.

And they spent the weekend with their families.

Come on, Paca...! Is this book about you or me?

It's all about the book!

See Jane's ass, it works like a butter churn.

But Cristina, I already told you it's not a book,

-it's just for school... -Whatever, just write:

We were 4000 whores in the West Side Park.

Look at the drama queen! 4000 whores?

-There were only 30 or 40 of us. -Depends on the day.

-Not even if there were a parade. -The parade's in your pussy.

We were few, but we were mighty.

And write this: just three of us wore only panties.

The hot ones.

La Manola!

Carolina from Vigo!

And me, a total bombshell!

Sweetie, I went out in panties, I had a nice body too.

Now, just spring and summer. Not a chance in winter.

No! I never went out in panties, Paca. That's not classy.

-It's for nasty girls like you. -What's the problem, honey?

-With your pussy all hanging out. -All the men wanted to sleep with me.

Just look!

Not you, not you.

Not you...

You.

Here we go with the horror stories.

The other girls were green with envy. Write that for the book.

Sweet mother of god! Lord have mercy!

Her pussy had the cars lining up for miles!

She made piles of dough! Cars lined up from here to Albacete!

Who could that be? I'm not expecting anyone.

Maybe it's the meter reader, here to read La Veneno's meter.

-Coming... -Look that whore ass of yours...

-Hello, my love. -Oh my, what a surprise!

-What's up, Bienve? -I know that voice.

-Yes, I invited them! Come in! -Hello!

Ooh, Bienve!

-Sweetie... -Look at those new tits!

-Like a pair of Soviet missiles. -Come in!

Sacha, look at you. Valeria, she just got her new pussy.

-Honestly... -What? You're a woman.

This is Valeria, who's writing a book about me!

-Well... -Hi, I'm Sacha. Pleasure to meet you.

-You too. -Hi, I'm Bienve.

-What a sweet girl. -Thank you...

You stay for lunch? I can add more rice and artichokes.

Artichokes, yams, all of it. If you want clams, clams.

If you want cucumbers, a nice cucumber.

And if not, a nice bean stew to keep us up all night.

You are so rude...

I might be rude, but everybody loves me!

Because I'm clear as glass, not like some people. Write that down.

-What's this book about? -It's science fiction.

-Can't you see she's an alien? -It's for a literary competition.

And if they choose me, the prize is publishing my work.

-But they're not gonna choose me. -How could you lose? It's my life!

-Write down that she owes me 200E. -Shut up! I'm done with you.

-If you owe me, you owe me. -She owes me too...

-Honestly... -What is this?

-Go and grab the artichokes... -Shut up, fairies!

It's my story, isn't it? Well then, I'm gonna tell it.

I was born on March 19th, 1964.

On the Feast of St Joseph. There was a sweet serenade.

It's over, he's here. The baby's here.

I was born just as the clock struck midnight.

My grandmother gathered me up,

and she was struck by my eyes, like something happened.

My eyes were wide open, and they sparkled. And she said:

This child is destined to conquer with his gaze.

And that's always been a big part of who I am.

EPISODE 2 A TRIP BACK IN TIME

I was born in Adra, just like my mother.

Adra is a village in Almería that used to be tiny,

a hole in the middle of Andalucía. It's grown a lot since then.

-Give her to me. -My family wasn't upper class

but we did alright.

-Mommy! -What are you doing?

My mother, María Jesús, had a grocery shop,

and my father was a car salesman. They got by with that.

Everybody squeeze together a bit.

There are six of us.

Maricarmen is the oldest.

Then there's Rafa, who's always playing it cool.

María Teresa, Tere, who was always fighting with my mother.

Tere, fix your hair. Could you please just fix her hair?

Paco, who I shared a room with and told everything to.

Is everyone here then?

Rocío, who's the youngest...

Alright then. Ready, set...

And me. José Antonio Ortiz Rodríguez.

Joselito?

Joselito. Joselito! Now where did that boy get to?

Joselito.

I never liked school, I was never a top student.

My favorite thing was animals.

Playing with dogs, taking care of birds.

My neighbor was a boy called Gabriel, but everyone called him Cat-killer.

I'll let you figure out why.

He had tons of animals of all kinds.

Even peacocks and guinea fowls.

And I snuck in there to see them.

Joselito! Come on, time to go home!

-Maricarmen, come here! -It's time to go!

-I want to show you something. -You asked for it.

What're you doing here? Mom's not happy.

-I'm looking at this beautiful dove. -You know what they say about them?

-What? -They don't fly as high.

-Why? -You can't have everything in life.

Come on now. Run!

-I'm coming, I'm coming... -Come on!

Here he is!

-Where were you? -Running an errand.

Running an errand? Get over here...

And you too, let's go. Please. It's gonna be dark soon.

My mother always wanted to come off good.

The richest, the most beautiful,

the perfect family.

What was your relationship like with your mother?

Hey listen, this is ready. The paella is served.

Cristina?

-Come on, let's eat. -Set the table now.

We're gonna stuff ourselves. Will you grab those, Juanita?

-I got it, sweetie. -Stop the questions for now.

Look at her, exhausted from all the questions.

-My little journalist... -See Jane write...

What's important is that La Veneno was the most beautiful transvestite

in all of Spain! Let's hear it! Yes!

-Hi. -You startled me.

-How's it going? -Good. Hanging out with these ladies.

-They're crazy. -They're pretty funny, though.

Yes, sometimes it's a little much. But, they're great.

-How long has it been for you? -Like a year and a half.

Really? And you already look like that?

Yeah. I mean, with a few touch-ups, love.

If not, you'll never get there. But yes, a year and a half.

I wanna start taking hormones, but I haven't talked to my mom yet...

You haven't told her yet?

Well...

Listen... I'm gonna do you a little favor, OK?

I'm not dealer. Promise you'll you go to the doctor.

-Yes. -This is what I take.

You have to take one of each, every day.

Your skin will get softer, your chest will fill out, just a bit.

They're not gonna get huge overnight.

Some people say your voice changes, but I don't think so.

I mean, look at me. But anyway, your voice doesn't really matter.

-At least to me. -I don't know...

Just relax. Everyone walks her own path, sweetie.

-Look at them. -Bye, Marchalenes, I'll be back.

Bye, sweetie. Little Red Riding Hood, better run, Grandma's waiting!

Bye, Paca! See you soon, Veneno!

Girls, wait til Juani comes down.

-She's packing up the paella! -That Juani!

-What're you gonna do? -She'll forget it in the fridge.

-That Juani is such a pig. -Don't say that.

-I've known Juani for a very long time. -Alright now!

Go home before the ghosts pluck you like a flock of chickens!

You know what I say? I'll show them what I've got!

Check out our girl, she's growing up!

-The schoolgirl has learned! -Right! Schoolgirl!

-Schoolgirl, schoolgirl, schoolgirl! -That's right, beautiful...

Come on, now...

Goodbye!

Oh my gosh, I can't believe it.

-What a surprise. Hello. -Hi, Remedios...

Gosh, you look so handsome. I mean, you look different, right?

You look good. What are you doing here?

Nothing, hanging out with some friends.

You little bitches, you left me to pack everything up!

Give me kiss, you crazy thing. I'm gonna miss my bus.

-Nice to meet you, gorgeous. -Thank you.

Could you help me? I'm going blind...

-Thank you. -No problem. Bye.

Wow, she's something.

Well, tell your mom I said hi, I haven't seen her in a while.

-Gimme a kiss. -I'll let her know.

Alright, take care. You're OK then, right?

Good, then I can rest easy. I'll leave you with your friends.

See you, hon. See you later, bye.

-Aren't you gonna say hello? -Hello...

-Where were you? -I was studying.

You've been studying a lot lately.

When I study, I study. And when I don't, I don't.

Look at me.

-What's that on your face? -Nothing.

Who were you with? Son, I just want to know.

-Amparo. -Amparo's studying?

-Yes, Mom, she's studying now. -What's she studying?

-State exams, I think. -What state exams?