Any Bullet Will Do

War, it changes men.

It ain't no secret.

It's nothin' you can hide or keep concealed.

Pits you against those you love,

turns 'em into somethin' ya hate.

And when it does that, the killin' starts.

Yanks, Yanks!

Sumbitch.

Cap'n.

Captain! Captain, we got Yanks!

Cap'n, we got Yanks!

Cap'n. Cap'n sir, we got about 20 Federals

comin' up that hillside and they're mighty pissed, sir.

- Thank you, Sergeant Major. - Sir.

Look sharp, men!

Eyes forward now.

We did not come here today to lose.

We came here to run these Johnny-red sap

all the way back to the muddy waters of the Gulf.

Let it not be fear that compels you today.

No, let it be the calm thoughts

of returnin' home to your wives.

Holdin' your sons and your daughters.

All right boys, we got us a bunch of feeble-minded Yanks

just lyin' across from us.

They're outnumbered, cold and scared.

Let it not be the thought of sleepin' in the cold mud,

but in a warm bed, clean sheets instead.

It is your job to take their lives from them this day.

This forest becomes a graveyard for those northern heathens

that would take your God-given right from you.

But most importantly,

remember the fresh feelin' of victory!

Take to mind all that

and we will crush our enemies on this day.

Now,

dyin' time is here.

Let's go!

Come on!

Charge!

Yeah!

One in Virginia, one in South Carolina

One in the Dakotas, I just don't remember which one.

I must... There must've been, I don't even know,

six bottles of whiskey that night.

Oh, yes.

Kentucky, there was one in Kentucky.

I tell you what, you wanna find yourself some trouble,

trouble will find you in Kentucky.

That is just how it is.

I swear, you don't even got to go lookin' for it.

Hmm, you're awful quiet Karl.

Somethin' botherin' you?

You wanna know what I heard all mornin'?

Well, what did ya hear, Karl?

Your goddamn jaw floppin'.

Sound like somebody forgot to grease the wheel.

Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be more useless,

turns out you can't aim for shit either.

You couldn't hit a bear's ass with a bag of banjos.

You can't hunt for shit, you can't talk for shit,

and you ain't got the looks to pucker a pig's butt, boy.

Yet here you are, jackass-eatin' cactus.

An imbecile of immoral repute.

I'm sorry, Karl.

Yeah, I know you are.

Just like you sorry 'bout all them whores

in this town or the other.

Jesus, it's Foggy.

- Foggy! - Dale's over here.

Hell, we ain't been gone but half a day.

Karl.

They must've just left here.

Got two eyes and a brain, ain't I?

What's that brain tellin' you?

We got Blackfoot to thank for this.

And to the victor go the spoils.

Goddamn heathens.

That's why us scallywags gotta stick together, Lonnie.

See, you've got a penchant for havin' your way with whores.

And me, I like takin' things that don't rightly belong to me.

Isn't it odd they didn't take no gold?

What kinda Injuns don't take no gold, Karl?

- Karl? - What is it?

They left a bag of scalps.

Blackfoot don't leave no scalps in bags.

What is it, Lonnie?

You look like you seen a ghost.

Jesus!

Please, please don't kill me.

"Associate yourself with men of good quality

if you esteem your reputation.

For it is far better to be alone than in bad company."

And I do believe George Washington said that

and I do not think he would've approved

of what you done to that whore back at 14 Mile.

Have mercy.

Mercy is somethin' you beg for at the Pearly Gates, son.

No!

Just my job to make sure you there on time.

No!

- Here you are. - Thank you.

By the time I read these damn things,

they're over a month old.

I'm readin' about the past, not the present.

I still send for 'em.

You know what they called me in, uh, St Louis

when I told 'em I was gonna come out here

and start a minin' operation

in the midst all this hostile Indian territory, and...

bandits and road agents roamin' around like elk

and bears, more monsters than animals.

They said I... I had a death wish.

Suicidal was the exact term, I believe.

And now look at me.

I got one of the largest gold operations in the world.

Risk, Mr. Ransom, always take it.

No matter what the cost may be.

Never have been much of a risk taker, Mr. Carrington.

Oh, sure you have.

Who else would come in here drippin'

man's biology all over my saloon's floor?

Anyone else I'd have 'em cut with a straight razor

till they was unrecognizable to God himself.

Men, sir.

- Pardon? - Men's biology.

Plural, as in more than one.

Yes, I know the meaning of plural.

What is your meaning with it?

Four men's biology, to be exact.

Don't drip on my desk, please.

I found 'em out on a trail runnin' away from town,

like most thieves will do in these kinds of situations.

Well, I thought you'd bring back one,

maybe two, but not without wound.

Not wounded, are you?

I reckon I gave enough blood durin' the war.

I do try to avoid lead when and where I can, sir.

More particularly, I'd rather just snatch a man's life from him

before his trigger finger can get to itchin'.

Makes things go a whole lot easier.

Bag looks a bit light for there bein' heads in it.

What's a head weigh, eight pounds?

I brung you their scalps, sir.

And I reckon the correct weight on a human head,

brain included, is roughly about ten pounds.

And I do parlay that figure on good authority.

You're a head hunter, Hollis.

You're supposed to bring back the heads.

See, that's how I'm supposed to know you're an honest man

and not killin' some poor soul for a bit of silver.

How else am I supposed to know who it is you brought back?

Them there scalps belong to the three boys

that done wrote your gold haul, few days back.

Fourth belongs to a kid named Lonnie Bixby.

He was ridin' with them and he's the one responsible

for the cuttin' of Ma Whitman's girl

'bout the same time the gold haul got took.

Now, in total that is 500 dollars a piece

for the three and 1,000 for the Bixby kid.

Now he's worth twice that back east

but I will just settle out on 1,000 for him.

Now listen here.

As far as me being trustworthy and all...

I do believe that that should satisfy

your questionability.

Well, you never do disappoint do you, Hollis?

All right... all right I will pay you for the three,

but you better take up the kid with Ma,

seeing it was her... property that was damaged.

Here you go.

Whoa! Hey, what's this interruption here?

I'm tryin' to conduct some business.

- Goddamn it. - Pardon me, sir, Gentry here,

thought he could pocket from you.

Oh no,

shut the door.

Everybody thinks they can steal from me nowadays.

Explain yourself.

Gots no excuse, sir, but please Mr. Carrington.

I have a wife and child

- and I have to care for them. - Yeah.

- Mr. Gentry, is it? - Yes, sir.

How do you think stealing from me is a service to them?

I suppose it isn't, sir.

Mm-hmm.

You think I'm a forgiving man?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir, generous and forgivin'.

No man like you, none in the whole gulch.

Well, you're lucky.

You see this tall drink of water standin' over here?

If my men hadn't caught you in the act,

I would be obliged to send him out to collect you

and I might have to pay him

to make an example outta you

and bring your head back in a bag.

Now how would that be for your wife and child?

They would be broke and homeless

and your wife would probably have to take up whorin'.