Cute High Earth Defense Club LOVE! (美男高校地球防衛部)

Kurotama Bath

Ah, it's great being first in the bath.

Atsushi, you know, there's something I've been thinking about lately.

What is it, En-chan? The tax increase? The Olympics?

No, chikuwabu.

Chikuwabu?

He's a real mystery, you know?

It's just chikuwabu...

Not quite chikuwa, not quite fu.

He doesn't exist outside of oden.

Why is he even alive?

Well, it's not alive...

He's excluded from both the paste products group and the wheat gluten group.

When I think about how he must feel, it's kind of depressing.

But there are people who like chikuwabu.

Oh? You like chikuwabu?

Gonna start a club? A chikuwabu-bu?

What? Chikuwabu-bu is too hard to say.

It's the wabu-bu who plot to dominate via chikuwabu.

You're abbreviating it...

Daikon radish and tofu fritters contribute to the diversity that is oden

by creating a savory flavor.

Yet chikuwabu only absorbs that savoriness,

offering nothing of its own.

Couldn't you say the same of konjac?

No, konjac is at least flexible.

It's broad-minded enough to absorb that savoriness into its deepest parts.

Yet, with chikuwabu, you can boil it for hours and hours,

and most of it will remain nothing but wheat flour mixed with water.

It gives off the superficial appearance of melting and integrating itself while,

deep down, it rejects others and denies its wheat-based origins.

Uh, En-chan, do you hate chikuwabu?

I don't know if I hate it.

I just feel like I'm looking at an unknown lifeform.

But it's not a lifeform...

Where might this be?

A public bath... Why do you ask?

What is a pub-lic-bath?

It's a place where you pay money to sit in heated water,

to maintain bodily hygiene and relax the mind.

Relax the mind!

The people of this planet have an even more refined civilization than I thought!

How I should like to protect this planet...

R-Right...

Would you mind helping me?

Please!

Um... I'd just like...

to talk...

H-Hey! It stinks! It hurts! The fur's pricking me!

What is this thing? A bear? A dog? A pig?

Sirs! Please, no wrestling in the bath!

A wombat!

Diprotodontia Macropodidae!

Cousin to the koala!

They get sick if they get lonely and have flat noses!

There, there! Don't struggle!

Help me!

That kid is something else.

Most people would run at the sight of a creature like that.

And a pink one, no less.

He's a first year at our school. Hakone Yumoto, I think.

Heading home now?

The student council must have it rough.

And you must have it easy.

In oden terms, they're daikon radish, egg, and mochi-stuffed tofu.

Is that a compliment?

A serious compliment. That's the golden trio, you know?

No konjac, huh?

Wait for me!

So what is he? In oden terms.

The pot, maybe?

That's not food...

Help!

Wait, I said!

In the Name of Love

Binan High School

My name is Chiku Kazutake.

Chiku Kazutake

I'm a student at Binan High School.

I have no strong subjects. No weak subjects, either.

I'm a member of the Biology Club, but I never actually attend.

My theory is that humans can be divided into three categories... I think.

The beautiful Nozomi invited us to a mixer.

Sorry, my schedule's full already.

The beautiful, the ugly... and those who are neither.

I'm going to be participating in the Math Olympics.

I'm in the New Year's poetry reading!

The smart, the stupid... and those who are neither.

Ten more laps!

Okay! C'mon!

The athletic, the frail... and those who are neither.

What?

I bumped into something.

I'm... the third kind.

Class 3-C

Stand!

Is that a pet?

A stuffed animal?

Isn't it huge?

It's giant!

Why'd he bring an animal here?

Hey, you think Tawarayama's finally... you know?

That, huh?

Finally losing his marbles?

Bow.

Take your seats.

You boys are...

Did that voice come from the animal?

That wasn't Tawarayama's voice.

No. It is nothing.

We shall begin class now.

"Shall"?

"Shall"?

En-chan...

I've got a bad feeling about this.

Ah, begging your pardon, you two.

No, please, wait for me!

Won't you please hear me out?

Yeah, he's talking.

Oh, forgive me.

Circumstances demand that I draw attention away from myself,

so I would appreciate it if you would act as if you're speaking to this individual.

Little late for that!

But to meet you two again like this must be destiny!

No, destiny has nothing to do with it.

Please come with me!

Pass.

Do you mean "pass" as in "approved"?

Is that some old con man trick?

On Earth, it means "I refuse."

Wonderful!

Please, teach me everything there is to know about Earth culture and customs!

Too much responsibility!

Why don't you ask Mr. Tawarayama?

Oh, no, you see, this individual has some difficulties with mobility and endurance...

That seemed vaguely insulting.

Wasn't he turning 77 this year?

No, that's not what I'm talking about.

Setting that aside, I want us to protect this lovable Earth with the power of love together!

Why, you ask? I do it all for love!

No, we didn't ask.

Sorry, but we have other things to do.

That's right! I need to meditate on the matter of chikuwabu!

Chikuwabu? What's that?

It's a thing that exists, yet does not exist! Like a symbol of uncertainty!

I'm trying to figure out the purpose of chikuwabu's existence!

Chikuwabu's... purpose?

So this is where you were!

What, are you trying to be Mr. Tawarayama's pet?

Using him as your hands? Going undercover? Want a rice ball?

Pardon me, but would you mind saving me from that threat?

Why?

I realize that he presents no hatred or malice, but instincts dictate...

I won't let you run again!

I'll die if he gets near me!

Why? Why? I read on the net that wombats love rice balls!

I wanna cuddle you!

Pass!

That means "approved," right?

Are you okay?

Yes...

I don't know whether to call it a question or an opinion, but...

Those two really aren't on the same wavelength, are they?

Not a bit.

Earth Defense Club (lol)

Yo.

Good day, Senpai.

Io. How are you doing today?

Feeling like I just dropped a lump of butter into boiling oil.

And you, Ryuu?

Just perfect, by certain standards.

I melted off twenty million in twenty minutes.

I ended up triple-booked. I'm really in trouble.

You guys amaze me.

Money is...

Women are...

Life!

Oh, speaking of which,

I found this on the door.

Urgent Please register your club officially. -Student Council

A student council request for club registration?

In other words, if we want to use the room, we need to officially register as a club.

What a pain.

That's why I keep telling you

we should be the Innocent Co-Ed Mingle Club!

That violates public decency!

Then what about the Economics in Practice Club?

It's lacking in high school student character!

...is what the student council president would say, I expect.

Good point.

Why not just make it the Earth Defense Club?

Oh, that thing hanging on the door...

Earth Defense Club (lol)

The mystery sign that's been hanging there since who knows when, right?

Why not? This is a pain.

We can't do that.

We've been buying time by saying we'll submit it soon,

but this might be the limit.

Clubs need at least five members.

We need an advisor, too.