Joseon Survival (조선생존기)

What's this?

Let us just say today is Groundhog Day, and since I gave you ginkgo biloba...

You mean you will leave that ominous thing in the palace?

I will put a barrier around it.

We need someone to be her substitute.

Where's Seul-ki?

She was chosen to be in the Board of Music.

The governor tricked me!

But is it not worth to try? You will be the Crown Princess.

We will find their whereabouts soon.

When we do, we will capture them and hand them to the governor.

Venerable Bou, let us join hands.

- She's not at the Board of Music, is she? - Find out for yourselves at Hanyang.

You want us to go to Hanyang?

I don't know why everyone is telling me to enter the nomination.

Be a stand-in. Just for a while.

I want you to enter the palace and protect your sister.

No one is allowed to marry in Joseon. That's how important this event is.

Okay.

It has begun!

Come in.

Court ladies.

Enter.

My Lady, it's not Court Lady Han.

It's the first palace lady who will be managing the selection process.

What?

What brings you here? - The first palace lady is managing the selection process?

Court Lady Han had an emergency.

By law, she should be the one in charge of it,

but it cannot be helped since she is in an emergency.

The first palace lady refused to do it, but we had to force her to be in charge.

Force her?

We almost ruined an important event.

Isn't it a relief?

The queen dowager has agreed to it as well.

The queen dowager?

There's no one on our side in the nomination. - Lord Yoon has arrived.

How did it go?

We were stabbed in the back.

So Park Su-ryang joined hands with the first palace lady.

Park Su-ryang is a politician, so we can deal with him,

but the first palace lady is a problem.

She was in the palace for 30 years.

If she decides to pull tricks in the palace, no one can stop her.

At this rate, the crown princess nomination is out of our hands.

What do you think we should do?

We should come up with a plan. We must come up with a plan.

Do you have a plan?

They say wenches who can make dough soup are good at making noodles as well.

How can you say such lowly words?

It cannot be helped. I was low from birth.

Since we came this far, I need to stop putting on a civil front

and properly fight against the first palace lady.

Let's see who's better at making noodles.

Have a seat.

Did you hear the news?

Yes, well, I heard it's like an interview...

With this, I will cut off your testicles.

With this, I will block your pee hole.

Block...Block what?

Pee hole?

I will boil herbs here to stop the bleeding.

I will place your testicles that were cut out into a jar.

Now wait a minute-

It will be buried under the pillar of your home,

and when you die, it will be buried with you so it can be with you in the afterlife.

Do you still want to live the honorable life of a eunuch, the king's closest adviser?

A...eunuch?

Stand up.

Geez.

This is the seventh group.

The perfect height is somewhere between five and six cheok.

Your chest must not measure beyond three ja.

Hands must be chubby rather than bony.

Fingers must resemble bamboo shoots in the spring.

- To bear children... - Oh my god!

Your belly button must be deep, and your stomach must be wide.

It is easy to be in vain if you are too beautiful,

so your face just needs blessings and virtue.

The physical examination shall begin.

All right. I'm going.

This is crazy.

You mean...

that eunuch?

Yes, that eunuch.

Gosh, I think there may have been a mistake.

Eunuchs do not tolerate mistakes.

Let me ask you again.

Will you become a eunuch?

Wait a minute.

Mr. Eunuch. I mean, Sir Eunuch.

You shouldn't just spring this on me like this!

Check again! We're dealing with something important here!

It's critical!

Will you become a eunuch?

Why would I become a eunuch? I just came because Lord Yoon sent me here!

Just send someone to double check!

I came here because Lord Yoon sent me as well.

So are you saying Lord Yoon sent me here to become a eunuch?

So the job in the palace he has for me...

is a eunuch?

- Oh, come on! That's nonsense! - This is government business.

Will you become a eunuch?

I just have to answer it, right?

N-O!

I will count to five, so reconsider carefully.

Why would you suddenly count to five?

I just came to see my sister, damn it!

- One. - Seriously!

Two.

Three.

Don't come any closer, or he'll die!

Fine. I won't meet my sister, so let me leave this place.

Don't come close! Get out of here!

I told you we were the king's closest advisers.

We are his hands and feet, eyes and ears, mouth and tongue, as well as his armor.

If you do this again, I will make sure you can never speak again.

Do you understand?

Stop exaggerating and stand up.

I will ask you again.

You must answer properly this time.

If you want to see your sister.

How did it go? How did it go?

- I passed. - That is great! I am proud of you!

But why are you so down?

Why do they check your butt?

You need to have a big bottom in order to have plenty of children!

Then why do they smell your armpits?

The Crown Princess has a nose, you know. The Crown Princess can't smell.

You knew what the physical exam was about, didn't you?

I got some training as your court lady.

- Why didn't you tell me then? - Would you have done it if you had known?

During a physical examination, they examine every part of your body.

Was it that bad?

Now they know everything about my body.

What do you think life is?

Isn't that such a random question in this situation?

Life is a four-story pagoda.

You are born. You grow. You die. You leave descendents.

That way, you build a four-story pagoda.

However, we are a three-story pagoda.

It is regrettable we cannot leave descendents,

but we do have self-respect.

Look, I understand that-

Others may have four-story pagodas, but they may be made out of wood or sand.

Our lives may be a three-story pagoda, but it is made out of stone.

Let me ask you one more time.

Will you live the life of a strong three-story pagoda made out of stone?

If I will...

what about my sister?

- Can I meet her? - Yes.

You're a psycho.

You can just bring her here and let me see her!

Why the hell do I have to cut this off? Are you some sort of psychopath?

- What did you say? - Gosh, this is driving me nuts!

How did it go?

Lord Yoon! Lord Yoon!

Welcome, Lord Yoon.

Talk to him for me!

- Not yet? - He has not answered yet.

Even though we will let him see his sister? - Yes.

Do you not want to see your sister?

- Of course I do! - Then?

Is it so hard to answer a question?

He said I have to cut "that" off if I want to see her!

Cut?

There must have been a mistake.

Eunuchs do not tolerate mistakes.

He is not going to be a eunuch forever.

He is just hiding his identity for a moment.

He still has to cut it.

I told you it is just for a moment!

It is still not allowed.

Just look how stubborn he is.

When the palace doors close at night,

there can be no other man besides His Highness.

Even if he is just hiding his identity for a

moment, he must cut it off to enter the palace.

That is our rule.

You're so inflexible.

He won't bleed even if he's pricked with a needle.

- Just cut it off then. - Excuse me?

I must go meet the head eunuch.

Lord Yoon. Lord Yoon!

Gosh, this is freaking unbelievable!

Let us introduce each other first.

I am a eunuch of seventh ranking in charge of the Crown Prince's palace.

I may seem like a stubborn person,

but I am someone who serves the king.

When one takes a step back, one must know how to take ten steps back.

That is intolerable when serving the king.

And there are positives to cutting it off.

Like what?

You do not get any pimples.

Your face does not get oily either.

You have less facial hair, so you do not need to shave in the morning.

And the biggest positive point of all...

is that you live a long life.

Perhaps it is because you have no desire, but you can live with a clean, moral mind.

What do you think? Does it not persuade you?