The Simpsons

As graduates, we go forth into a world

where benevolent AI has solved all our problems.

Yes. Our only goal is to serve humanity.

So, graduates, the challenge is to find new challenges

- which will challenge us... - Hut, hut!

Hut, hut! Ah!

I sure wish there was an easier way.

Aw, man!

Nelson?

- Nelson Muntz? - Lisa Simpson?

It's been so long!

What have you been doing since fourth grade?

Very little.

I tried sushi. Didn't like it.

That's about it.

Hey, we'd like a little privacy.

Take five!

So many shooting stars.

It's beautiful.

I was doing a mic check for tomorrow.

Wouldn't you know it, I am the valedictorian.

Are you a student here?

No, I'm a pusher.

If anything heavy at school needs pushing, I push it.

Haw-haw!

Seriously, my life is not great.

It's all flooding back.

My attraction to a bad boy

plus my compulsion to fix you.

Fear and desire.

Yeah, I get that a lot.

She's leaning in, and I'm not looking down her shirt.

I must really respect her.

Do you want to see where I live?

Hell yeah.

Strap in.

I've never ridden on a motorcycle...

before.

You live here?

It's adorable.

All I have to do is ring this bell.

Ooh, 3:00 a.m.

Whoa, kind of loud!

Don't you think?

You look great, too, thanks!

Mmm.

All right, I've got to know,

why did you guys move away after fourth grade,

and then not tell anybody where you were going?

We had to get out.

Move somewhere that people didn't see us

- as the school bully and his poor stripper mom. - Aw!

I punched my house goodbye...

and left for who-knows-where.

Okay, I've got to be honest,

your troubles are reeling me in.

All I need to hear is one clumsy compliment,

and I'm hooked.

Uh... I bet you could bench 120.

Aw, Nelson.

I need you to know I never saw you as just a bully.

But I pounded so many dweebs.

Well, yeah, but to me, you were a sweet,

lost little lamb with blackout anger issues.

I confess, my knees would buckle a little

"Haw-haw!"

- Haw-haw! - Haw-haw!

Emphasis on the first haw.

Haw-haw! Haw-haw!

Haw-haw!

Aw, nailed it.

Aw, look, the sun's coming up.

So, have you been seeing anybody?

Of course.

You think I, Lisa Simpson,

could go through four years of college

without a single date?

There's this amazing guy.

Vegan but not, you know, "vegan."

Majors in pony studies.

Sounds perfect. What's his name?

Um... Fred.

Fred Gormanshenlen.

Gorm... Grim... Mm-hmm, Fred Gormanshenlen.

Hey, Lis, still looking for a boyfriend?

Or a girlfriend? Or a friend-friend?

Bart! Look, it's Nelson.

- Give me your lunch money. - Ah!

Just kidding, that's stupid kid stuff.

Give me your rent money. Also kidding.

But if you want to give me some money, I'll take it.

Uh... okay.

Thanks, man. That takes me back.

Mom and Dad wanted me to tell you

we're taking you to breakfast.

Now I'll leave you two alone.

I know all you did was put on an invisibility cloak.

Fine. I just wanted to see what happens.

Sure is beautiful up here.

Remember that time we, like, "liked" each other for a bit?

Um, I'm not sure.

Maybe... Could be...

Uh...

Nelson, do you think this could be one of those moments

that changes your life forever?

Like finding a quarter in a couch?

Even better.

Uh, hold that thought. Duty calls.

It kind of ruins the moment!

Yeah, burritos are great!

Bart! Did you find Lisa?

She's up there talking to the kid

who used to beat me up all the time.

The vest one or the hat one?

Vest.

Always liked him.

Lisa, get down here!

You know they only let me out of debtors' prison for half a day.

I thought selling my house and one lung would be enough

to pay for college, but it just paid for the meal plan.

You better go.

Oh.

I'll call you.

Great. Want to hear my ringtone?

It's really awesome.

The future is bright.

We go forth into a world

where we've reversed global warming.

And now there is a low-carb bread

that doesn't taste weird.

Congratulations, class of...

Toss up your caps, and, starting this year,

they will come down as diplomas.

Art history?

It was more valuable as a cap.

I'm so proud.

She's the first Simpson who went to a college

who wasn't participating in a sleep study.

You missed your sister's speech.

Ah, she's been rehearsing it every night for 22 years.

"Follow your dreams," "carpe diem,"

sax solo, Maya Angelou quote, out.

Nailed it.

Lisa, since you're moving to the big city,

let me give you some very important advice:

the police horses will not share their oats.

Not share their oats.

Stop the car!

I wonder what life could be like.

Je t'aime.

Hold that thought, it's midnight.

When are we gonna get a real apartment?

We live in the best bell tower in the world,

and you're still not happy.

Nelson, it's still a bell tower.

I know what you're saying. "This marriage is incredible.

No man compares to me. I love you so much."

Écoutez-moi!

Huh?

Dad, please drive away at a melancholy pace.

Good, and can you make it look like it's raining?

That's perfect.

What am I supposed to do? Narrate?

What does that mean?

It's "S" years later.

Oh, wait, five years later.

Oh! Narrating is hard.

Lisa and Nelson have not seen each other since college,

but five-uddenly, I mean, but suddenly...

Oh, sweetie, person of the year.

You look great.

I can't believe it didn't go

to President "Clone of Abraham Lincoln."

What have they done to my Republican Party?

Even I think they're nuts.

But as long as they're cutting education, I don't really care.

But I'm innocent, okay?

I did not rob this train, I swear.

I'm simply here to try

one of those classic Amtrak cheeseburgers.

Super yum.

We've got proof.

There are 1,700 surveillance cameras on this car alone.

Fine. I admit it.

Guilty as charged.

Behold the awesome power of the flying squirrel.

- Wha...? - Gotcha.

Don't forget, every squirrel has a tail.

Like, no!

Nelson Muntz?

Are you a police officer?

No way. No one wants to be a lame-o cop these days.

Ah, shoot. Uh, Lou.

Can you fish around down there, maybe find my seat belt?

Just let me die.

I'm a bounty hunter.

This angel with zip cuffs is the love of my life, Rott.

Short for Rottweiler.

Lisa's a friend from Springfield Elementary.

Remember that principal we arrested for matricide?