Bob Hearts Abishola

Oh, I don't know who I am happier to see,

you or the glass of wine.

It can be both.

No, it is the wine.

Did you have a bad day?

Not for long.

Dottie and I are going to the casino.

Now where is my lucky scarf?

Yes, it was a bad day--

I wore it when you married Bob, and, look,

he hasn't left you yet.

Hey, I was thinking we could

fire up the hot tub-- I wish I'd had it

for your first wedding.

Mmm. Okay.

No hot tub.

Food. Love-making. Sleep.

Sounds great, but could we swap

love-making and food, you know, just for digestion?

Of course.

Ah-ah. Where are you going?

To study with Jeremy.

I sent you his parents' email and phone number.

He's also has a compatible blood type.

Stop.

Since when do you walk away from me

when I am not done talking to you?

Since we want him to leave.

I'm sorry. What'd you want to say?

Nothing. Go away.

Yes, Mum.

Now, where were we?

Uh, blah, blah, blah.

Love-making, blah, blah, blah.

Let's go, Ebun!

I got $80 burning a hole in my pocket!

Bob, you want to stake me?

I got a system.

What kind of system? You play the slots.

I play a slot.

It loves me.

- Found it. - Okay.

You two have fun.

Stay out late.

Hello, Auntie.

What?

Oh, no. What?

Uncle Tunde was in a car accident.

He is in the hospital.

Is he all right?

Okay, we'll meet you there.

Well?

He may have a concussion.

Okay, let's go.

Lucky scarf, my ass.

You know, if Tunde isn't too banged up,

we could probably grab an Uber to the casino.

What do you think I am praying for?

Oluwa mi o, Uncle.

You okay? Yes, yes.

Wow, God likes you.

Let me give them our insurance.

We have Obamacare.

Let's see the head. I am the nurse, I see.

All right.

Not so bad.

Frank, town car.

Eight minutes away.

Are you experiencing any sensitivity to light?

Noise? Any ringing in your ears?

No, I am fine.

What happened?

A cat ran in front of my car.

I turned to miss it and hit a telephone pole.

Well, next time, kill the cat.

Bob.

There's only one of him.

There's lots of cats.

Maybe it is time you stop driving at night.

What? Why would you say that?

I have driven with you at night.

I avoided the cat.

And I know how to operate a motor vehicle.

I've driven with him.

He's Mr. Magoo.

We just want you to be safe.

You and the people on the sidewalk.

Can we please go home?

Come on, I'll drive.

Bob and I will sleep in your guest room

in case you need anything.

That will not be necessary.

You, uh, you heard him.

We can drop them off and, you know,

continue with our evening.

No.

Stupid cat.

I hate the smell of hospitals.

I think it's the bleach. It is the stench of death.

Yeah. I smell it now.

This is ridiculous.

If I had vision problems,

they would be scraping the cat off the road.

So you're 20/20 with cats,

not so good with telephone poles.

My eyes are tip-top.

Your eyes are 75 years old.

Seventy-four.

Oh, my bad.

The men in my family only get stronger with age.

My grandfather produced a child when he was 87.

Oh, that's terrific, his wife had to change two diapers.

Oh, you make jokes.

But I'll tell you right now, I will outlive you.

I hope so.

Mr. Olatunji? Yes.

We're ready for you.

And if you're a good boy,

we'll go for ice cream after.

That's not funny.

And I am going to hold you to it. All right.

That's my uncle.

By marriage.

You probably knew that.

Can you believe a man his age,

refusing to get his eyes checked?

My father was the same way.

Blind as a bat and too proud to wear glasses.

God rest his soul.

When did he die?

Moments after he stepped in front of a bus.

I think Bob's mother is losing her hearing.

She shouts everything.

Abishola, I like your shoes!

Why don't you take her to get her ears checked?

I tried. She said no.

Actually, she said,

"No!"

People get old, they don't want to face the fact

that their bodies ain't what they used to be, child.

I'm so glad you brought that up.

Why?

Abishola, tell her.

No, it is okay, you can do it.

I insist.

Somebody better say something.

Gloria...

every time you sneeze,

you let out a little fart.

I do not!

You sound like an old jalopy.

Oh, lord.

My grandmother did that.

It's okay, we still love you.

Just not when you have Indian food. Oof.

All right, noted.

Thank you, moving on.

Do I do it when I cough, too?

Yes!

You left your glasses in the bedroom.

Oh, I don't need them to eat dinner.

Come on, show everybody how handsome you look.

Can we just eat?

Please, Uncle.

Happy?

Ah. Yay. I am.

I married a Nigerian Clark Kent.

That is Superman's secret identity.

Olu?

Could you please stop ogling me?

I will ogle whoever I choose to ogle.

Maybe it is you who needs the glasses.

Oh, Tunde.

Uncle, I know it was difficult,

but I am proud of you for taking the first step.

I did not need to.

It was completely unnecessary.

They gave you a prescription.

They get paid to give prescriptions.

It is a racket.

Bob, talk sense to him.

Go ahead.

I'd rather not.

I sent you a text.

See if you can read it without your glasses.

I know we need milk.

Now put them on.

Oh.

I love you, too.

Thank you.

Now will you tell them?

There is nothing to tell.

Tell us what?

Fine.

The DMV took away my license.