The Neighborhood

Come on, Calvin, j-just relax, baby.

How can I relax?

Our son may have gotten a woman pregnant,

and he's not even married.

How are we gonna look our pastor in the eye?

We?

You haven't looked him in the eye since last Easter.

No! Somebody's using the bathroom.

I'm s-- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

But, please, go away.

So, do you see anything yet?

Not yet.

Okay, just so you know,

whatever happens, I will support you.

Why would you need to support me if it's negative?

I don't know, girl. I ain't never done this before!

Ow!

Why are you freaking out? I'm the one

who might have another human growing inside me.

And I already prepaid a trip to Cancún this summer.

I mean, I have travel insurance,

but I don't think it covers unprotected sex!

Ooh.

Ooh, is hot? Right?!

It's hot in here!

I always thought when I had my first kid,

I-I'd have a house, a dog, a wife,

my own drone racing team.

Oh, that's the pee stick. Okay.

Oh. Two pink lines.

I can't believe my sweet, little, innocent baby boy

is gonna be a father.

I know, Mommy. I can't believe it, either.

If you had told me one of our sons

would have had an oops baby,

I would have guessed it'd be Malcolm.

Uh, yeah, okay, sure, lash out at me.

I didn't raise that little rawdogger.

- You know what? - No, no, no, no.

Calvin, Calvin, Calvin, stop it.

You just shut up.

Ignore him, Marty.

Look, Mommy knows that you're going

through a lot of feelings right now,

but we're running out of time,

so we got to pin down a wedding date.

Wedding?

Mom, I told you, we're not even in a relationship.

What does that have to do with anything?

Okay, look, go easy on him, Ma.

It's been a rough day for lil' Nick Cannon.

Hey, neighbors.

How are we doing?

We brought champagne and vodka.

Depending on whether we're celebrating or,

uh, freaking out.

Grandma could use some of that bubbly, baby.

Thank you.

Mom, really?

I'm sorry, I'm just excited

that I'm getting a little granddaughter.

You already know the sex?

Well, not officially,

but she's definitely having a girl.

She's carrying high.

She's not even showing.

Not to you.

Look, it doesn't even matter.

The important thing is I'm getting a baby.

I'm-I'm having a baby.

Courtney is having my baby.

You know what I mean!

I-I'm, I'm sorry, did, uh,

did you say Courtney?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

So Courtney, who works at the Fusebox,

is the, uh...

baby mama?

Can Dave say "baby mama"?

It's not racist.

But I don't like it.

Yeah, man, why do you ask?

No reason. It's nothing.

Hold on.

Because the way you're saying it

doesn't sound like nothing.

It's just my HR experience talking.

Theoretically, Courtney could sue the Fusebox for everything.

But that's only in theory and...

only if she's the type of person

who wants a ton of money.

Well, that's everybody, Dave.

Marty, what were you thinking?

It was a one-time thing and it happened

before Courtney even worked at the Fusebox.

I'm not like Malcolm, sleeping with my colleagues at work.

What?! Okay, okay.

Yeah, see, he always does this.

Deflects onto me when he screws up.

Just like when we were teenagers and you dented Mama's car

and screamed, "Uh, Malcolm's got a bong in his room."

My God, the smell from that thing.

By the way, Mama, he's still got that bong in his room.

Malcolm! I told you to get rid of that!

Marty got a girl pregnant, Mom!

Okay, you better watch your tongue.

Dave, are you listening to this?

Bongs and car wrecks and pregnancies.

Is this what we have to look forward to with Grover?

Oh, oh, God, no.

No, we're gonna do a much better job as parents.

No offense, Calvin.

I'll do it.

Get out, Dave.

Ooh, Gemma, I have great news.

New episode of our show just dropped.

Ooh, a new Blood Tide?

I love murder.

You know, I have a theory.

The body in the shrimp boat, I think it's Don.

You know, we only saw his shoes.

And we know Don loves leather.

Oh, right, and he has a shellfish allergy, too.

My theory is even smarter than I thought.

I'm gonna go nuke the Hot Pockets.

You get the TV on the right input.

I can never figure that out.

What-what, now?

I can't watch it now.

But it's already been out for an hour.

I won't be able to go on social media.

Gemma, don't do this to me.

I have that board of trustees meeting at school.

Oh, of course, yeah, I suppose that's more important.

Hey, guys. Am I interrupting anything?

- Yes, Malcolm, actually, you are. - Well, that's great. I'll only be

one second. Thank you, Dave.

Listen, I just needed some clarification

on the whole dating Janelle situation.

I know that we work together, but it's not like

Janelle works for me, so I'm in the clear.

- Right? - Well, you both work at USC,

so I don't know.

Have you officially disclosed your relationship?

Uh, I mean, well, we do make out in the hallway sometimes,

so I feel like it's kind of out there.

In the hallway?

You got to move that stuff into your office.

Right, Dave?

You probably just need to file

some sort of relationship disclosure form.

But that'll make it so formal, man.

Look, right now it is great, okay?

I don't text her in the morning, no problem.

But once I put that label on it and don't text her,

then we got beef.

Well, if you want to keep your job,

you may have to eat the beef.

J-Just sign the form!

Yes. Thank you, Dave.

- All right. - I'll walk out with you.

- All right. - Great, I'll just

be here alone without the television

or Hot Pockets.

Guess it won't hurt just to watch the recap.

Previously on Blood Tide...

"Pursuant to section seven of the agreement,

"all parties agree to indemnify in perpetuity

"the Fusebox and all legal ownership partners

"from any legal action resulting

"from interactions that occurred in or outside

the aforementioned business."

See? Simple.

No! No, what does that even mean?

I don't know, Marty.

I just told our lawyers

you got freaky with an employee.

He said get her to sign that.

Since when do relationships come with so much paperwork?

I got the same thing here with Janelle.

You two do know there's a thing called

"meeting a woman in a bar," right?

Don, don't eat that.

The ceviche has shrimp in it.

You'll go into anaphylactic sho--

And Nicole emptied your EpiPen.

Dad, can you keep it down?

Oh, sorry, buddy. You doing your homework?

Sure.

Isn't this the-the show you watch with Mom?

This show? Uh...

Yeah, but... this is just a preview.

It says you've watched 37 minutes.

Well, it's a, it's a long preview.

But you know what?

You don't have to tell Mom about this.

You're right.

I don't have to tell her.

But lying is wrong.

You just lied about doing your homework.