The Brady Bunch

ALICE, ALICE!

THE MOST WONDERFUL THING IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD HAPPENED!

YOU WERE NOMINATED FOR THE MOST POPULAR GIRL IN YOUR CLASS.

I WAS NOMINATED FOR... CONGRATULATIONS.

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

WELL, PETER BEAT YOU HOME BY A GLASS OF MILK AND A SLICE OF BALONEY.

WELL, ISN'T IT TERRIFIC?

TERRIFIC. I THINK YOUR CLASSMATES HAVE GOT REAL CLASS.

THANKS!

HI, BOBBY. HI, JAN.

BOBBY, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED IN SCHOOL TODAY.

I KNOW, YOU GOT NOMINATED FOR MOST POPULAR GIRL.

THAT'S GREAT!

WELL, AT LEAST MARCIA WILL BE SURPRISED.

I ALREADY HEARD. YEAH. ME, TOO.

CONGRATULATIONS.

HONESTLY, SURPRISING PEOPLE IN THIS FAMILY

IS HARDER THAN SMUGGLING SUNRISE PAST A ROOSTER.

WE THINK IT'S SUPER.

YEAH, I'M GONNA HAVE A HARD TIME WINNING

WITH A GIRL LIKE KATHY WILLIAMS IN THE CONTEST.

WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT HER?

WELL, SHE'S GOT THE 3 B's. BEAUTIFUL, BRAINY AND BUILT.

OH, JAN, THAT'S NOT EVERYTHING.

AT MY AGE, IT'S NOTHING.

YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO GET OUT THERE.

AND CAMPAIGN HARD.

YEAH, WELL, I'M NOT WORRIED.

GOOD.

I PASSED WORRIED AN HOUR AGO,

NOW I'M TERRIFIED.

SIR,

MAY I PLEASE REMIND YOU

THAT I'M A HAPPILY MARRIED WOMAN AND A MOTHER.

YEAH, THIS IS HOW YOU GET THAT WAY.

LISTEN, I BRING YOU GOOD NEWS.

OH, FIRST, LET ME TELL YOU MY GOOD NEWS.

DID YOU KNOW THAT JAN WAS NOMINATED THE MOST...

THE MOST POPULAR GIRL IN THE CLASS. YEAH.

6 KIDS AND THE HOUSEKEEPER LAID IT ON ME BEFORE I HAD BOTH FEET IN THE DOOR.

OK, WHAT'S THE NEW GOOD NEWS?

YOU KNOW THAT LONG WEEKEND

WE'VE BEEN PLANNING FOR OVER A YEAR? YEAH.

WE ARE GOING ON THE 8TH.

YEAH, EVERYTHING'S ARRANGED AT THE OFFICE.

OH, HONEY, THAT'S TERRIFIC!

OH, IT'LL BE LIKE A 2ND HONEYMOON. HMM.

AH, THAT'S ONE RERUN I'M REALLY GONNA ENJOY. YUP.

YOU'LL NEED LOT OF "VOTE FOR JAN BRADY" POSTERS.

THAT'S RIGHT, AND LOTS OF HANDBILLS, TOO.

AND I'M GONNA NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET

'CAUSE THE ELECTION'S NEXT WEEK.

AND IF THERE'S EVER ANYTHING THAT I CAN DO FOR YOU, ANYTHING AT ALL, JUST ASK.

YOU CAN TAKE MY TURN AT THE DENTIST.

I'D EVEN PROMISE THAT.

HEY, JAN, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED IS A GOOD CAMPAIGN MANAGER

TO COORDINATE ALL YOUR ACTIVITIES AT SCHOOL.

YEAH, BUT WHO?

IT'S GOTTA BE SOMEONE WHO GOES TO MY SCHOOL,

AND SOMEONE WHO...

HEY! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME?

PETER!

IF HE'LL DO IT.

OF COURSE, HE'LL DO IT. HE'S MY BROTHER.

AND BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER.

NO WAY!

BUT, PETER, YOU'RE MY BROTHER.

AND BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER.

SO WHAT? SO'S GLUE.

WHY WON'T YOU DO IT?

PERSONAL REASONS.

YEAH, AND HER NAME'S KATHY WILLIAMS.

WHAT ABOUT KATHY WILLIAMS?

WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW, SHE ASKED ME TO MANAGE HER CAMPAIGN.

AND YOU'D ACTUALLY HELP HER INSTEAD OF ME?

WELL, I DIDN'T SAY I WOULD YET,

BUT YOU'RE ONLY MY SISTER. SHE'S A GIRL.

BUT, PETER, I DON'T HAVE A CHANCE WITHOUT A GOOD CAMPAIGN MANAGER.

PLEASE.

I'll PROMISE ANYTHING IN RETURN FOR YOUR HELP. NAME YOUR PRICE.

I CAN'T BE BOUGHT.

OH, BUT, PETER. I...

I CAN, A LOT CHEAPER, TOO.

BOBBY, THE PERSON WHO'S GONNA BE MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER HAS TO GO TO MY SCHOOL,

BUT I CAN STILL USE YOUR HELP.

PETER.

ON 2ND THOUGHT, JAN, IF YOU REALLY MEAN

TO PROMISE ANYTHING IN RETURN FOR MY HELP.

ANYTHING, PETER, JUST NAME IT.

WELL, I COULD USE A SMALL LOAN, JUST... YOU'VE GOT IT.

WELL, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW FOR WHAT. WHO CARES?

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW FOR HOW MUCH. WHO CARES?

WHEN DO I HAVE TO PAY YOU BACK? WHO CARES?

YOU GOT YOURSELF A CAMPAIGN MANAGER.

MY HEART BELONGS TO KATHY, BUT MY BLOOD BELONGS TO YOU.

THANKS, PETER, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

I CAN BE HIS ASSISTANT FOR A SMALLER LOAN.

IT'S A DEAL.

ALICE, DID I GET A PHONE CALL FROM A GUY NAMED RICHIE?

IT'S KIND OF IMPORTANT.

NO, AND IT MIGHT BE QUICKER IF HE SENT YOU A TELEGRAM.

WHAT?

WELL, SEE WHAT I'M DOING IS MAKING A LOT OF POSTERS AND HANDBILLS

AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

AND HER 3 MINUTES WERE UP ABOUT 2 HOURS AGO.

AND IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU, JUST NAME IT.

NO. I MEAN IT. ANYTHING.

LIKE BABY-SITTING FOR YOUR LITTLE BROTHER OR WHATEVER.

I'M YOUR FRIEND FOR LIFE.

YEAH, SURE. OK, THANKS. BYE.

AND IF YOU WANT ANOTHER FRIEND FOR LIFE, LET ME MAKE A CALL, HUH?

SURE. THANKS.

JUST AS SOON AS I MAKE ONE MORE CALL.

JAN, YOU, UH, WANT VOTES, HUH?

DO I EVER.

WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF I SAID I HAVE FRIENDS IN SCHOOL

WHO HAVE BROTHERS AND SISTERS THAT GO TO YOUR SCHOOL

WHO MIGHT BE TALKED INTO VOTING FOR YOU?

I'D SAY, MAKE YOUR CALL.

AND IF THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO FOR YOU, JUST NAME IT.

I WILL.

AH, BEAT ME HOME, HUH?

UH, YES.

I'VE BEEN GONE SHOPPING FOR OUR WEEKEND AT THE BEACH.

WELL... WHAT DO YOU THINK, HONEY?

DOES IT DO ANYTHING FOR ME?

HEY, NOT NEAR AS MUCH AS IT'S GONNA DO FOR ME.

BE A LITTLE CHILLY ON THE BEACH AT NIGHT.

AT NIGHT?

WE DON'T HAVE A ROOM.

OH, NO, MIKE. DIDN'T YOU GET A RESERVATION?

HONEY, EVERYTHING'S BOOKED SOLID FOR THE WEEKEND OF THE 8TH.

I EVEN CALLED A FRIEND OF A FRIEND. AND?

NOW WE'RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE.

WELL, THERE GOES OUR WEEKEND AND OUR 2ND HONEYMOON.

YEAH, BUT NOT NECESSARILY.

LISTEN, I WAS JUST THINKING.

SINCE EVERYBODY'S FLOCKING TO THE BEACH,

WHY DON'T WE FLOCK TO THE MOUNTAINS?

THEY'RE HAVING GOOD SKIING.

OH, MIKE, WE HAVEN'T SKIED IN AGES.

WELL, WHO SKIS ON HONEYMOONS?

HEY, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. MMM-HMM.

WE COULD LIMP AROUND. NOBODY'LL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

YEAH, RIGHT, I'll MAKE RESERVATIONS FIRST THING.

WELL, OK.

SO LONG, BIKINI. I'VE GOT TO TRADE YOU IN FOR SOME LONG UNDERWEAR.

HI, ALICE. HI, HONEY.

WHAT YOU DOING?

HELPING YOU GET ELECTED.

YOU CAN'T VERY WELL PASS OUT CIGARS AT SCHOOL,

BUT, UH, YOU COULD PASS OUT THESE.

WHAT'S THAT?

HOMEMADE FORTUNE COOKIE.

THERE'S A LITTLE MESSAGE INSIDE EACH ONE.

"BE A SMART COOKIE. VOTE FOR JAN BRADY."

OH, THAT'S A SUPER IDEA, ALICE. THANK YOU.

CINDY, LOOK.

"VOTE FOR JAN BRADY."

I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

I'll PUT THIS POSTER ON THE BACK OF THE CAR,

AND I'll DRIVE JAN AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD,

AND THEN SHE CAN PASS OUT THOSE COOKIES THAT ALICE MADE.

YEAH, AND I'VE GOT AN IDEA, TOO.

I'M MAKING AN AD FOR JAN TO PUT IN HER SCHOOL NEWSPAPER.

HEY, WHAT'S THAT WORD THAT YOU WRITE

WHEN YOU DON'T WANT ANYBODY TO KNOW YOUR NAME?

UH, YOU MEAN ANONYMOUS?

YEAH, THAT'S IT.

"ANONYMOUS."

THERE. HOW'S THIS SOUND?

"VOTE FOR JAN BRADY, MOST POPULAR GIRL.

"SHE'S PRETTY AND SMART AND NICE AND KIND.

"I OUGHT TO KNOW 'CAUSE I'M HER SISTER.

SIGNED, ANONYMOUS."

OH, CINDY!

CAN'T YOU HAVE BORROWED A BETTER MACHINE?

STOP COMPLAINING AND KEEP CRANKING.

HEY, IF THAT'S MONEY YOU'RE PRINTING UP

I'll TAKE A PACKAGE OF 100s.

THESE ARE HANDBILLS FOR JAN'S CAMPAIGN.

YEAH? LET ME SEE.

THEY'RE GREAT EXCEPT FOR ONE LITTLE THING. WHAT'S THAT?

THEY'RE SO MESSY, YOU CAN'T READ 'EM.

OH, WELL, THESE FIRST ONES ARE JUST SAMPLES.

THEY'LL GET BETTER.

AND IF THEY DON'T, YOU GOT A GOOD SMEAR CAMPAIGN GOING.

VOTE FOR JAN BRADY!

BE SURE TO VOTE FOR JAN BRADY.

JAN BRADY FOR MOST POPULAR GIRL.