Danny's Game

Best thing in life is taking what's not yours

and getting away with it,

and getting a good night's sleep.

Show time.

Kiss my ass, Bishop.

You boys gonna miss me while I'm gone?

Kiss my ass, Bishop.

Potty mouth.

Don't forget to tell your wife I said hi, will ya?

Yeah, screw you Bishop.

He's gonna be back in a week.

Give your little brother a hug!

Oh, why?

Making me drive out here.

Besides, you're up to no good.

Missed you too.

Put your shit in the trunk.

Sure thing, chauffeur.

Don't start, it's a long car ride.

It sure is.

How'd you get the limp?

Another inmate stabbed me in the hamstring.

I'm sure he had a good reason.

Meh.

Quit monkeying with your hair

and put your belt on, jackass.

You're starting to look like Dad.

Ha, just couldn't resist could you, Danny?

Well I saw your grays coming in.

Are you dying your hair?

You're dying your hair!

Shut up.

Okay.

All right, you know what, no.

When are you gonna grow up, Danny?

Aiming for late 40s, early 50s, Dad.

Dad, huh?

Am I sounding like Dad now, huh?

Watch the road!

God.

Oh.

You visit Mom and Dad?

Yeah.

Did you put tulips on the grave?

Yeah.

Good.

Can we stop by the liquor store?

Whoo doggie, it just starts right up.

I hope to God that you're kidding.

I just got out, I just wanna drink.

Yeah, just fresh outta the joint,

let's go to the liq.

Tell you what, I'm gonna

lay some ground rules, butt hole.

Number one, no pool halls.

Number two, no women.

Don't be bringing any of your dirty little tarts

over to the house.

Number three, no booze.

Four, five and six, no cards.

No cards, no nothing.

Good to be home.

Yeah, welcome back, Mr. Kotter.

Danny!

Danny, it's 11 a.m.

Get outta bed already.

Come on, you can box the clown later.

I'm goin' to work.

Cute.

Can you watch Lisa while I'm gone?

Danny.

Danny?

Danny!

Yes, god!

Good, when I get back you should look for a job.

Okay, Dad.

Smart ass.

And Danny, stay out of the pool halls.

Sure thing, Dad.

Piece of shit.

Morning.

Good morning.

I've taken the liberty of making us coffee.

French-press, if you would like some.

Yeah, sure.

No smoking in the house!

There's a porch outside where you can smoke.

Right.

Shouldn't you be in school?

It's Saturday, Danny.

Sorry, I'm still adjusting to society.

I know, Dad told me to keep an eye on you

while he was gone.

Hm, he did did he?

What else did he say?

Your mouth gets you into trouble.

That you usually have an excuse for everything.

How'd you get the limp?

Bookies took a hammer to my kneecap.

Is there anything to cook around here?

You don't know how to cook.

I know how to cook.

You want pancakes, I'll make some pancakes.

There aren't any eggs.

You want eggs and pancakes?

No, you need eggs to make pancakes, Danny.

Okay, is there any cereal to eat around here?

There's some Trix in the kitchen.

Fine, fake processed food to start my day.

How long were you in jail for?

Three glorious years.

What did you do wrong?

Well, I got caught.

What law did you break?

Well, I was like a modern-day Robin Hood.

Except I didn't give the money back to the poor people.

Danny, cut the crap.

Okay, okay, okay.

First, I hot-wired a red-hot muscle car.

Mm, then I took a gorgeous blonde as my hostage.

Got in a shoot-out with the cops.

Turns out that gorgeous blonde though?

She's an undercover cop.

Put a gun to my head, said, "Darling, you're going down."

Dad said you robbed a gas station

and left the gas hose in your gas tank

as you took off.

You sold your car and the police caught you on foot.

Well I like my story better.

Oh you remind me of your mother.

You knew my mother?

Oh, I knew your mother.

I knew her before your dad did.

What was she like?

Well, she was a tornado of beauty and hell.

She was certainly a life force.

She was pretty though, right?

Yeah, she was pretty.

She was a lot like you.

But do me a favor, don't tell your dad

we talked about your mother, okay?

Don't worry, I won't say anything.

Do you know about the secret Bishop talent?

No.

Oh that's too bad.

Why is that?

Oh, just for a few reasons.

What reasons?

Well, every adult should know

this rare and unique talent.

What's so unique about it?

Oh, I don't know if you're ready.

It is very special.

How do I know if I'm ready?

Well, seven pancakes.

So, if I make seven pancakes, I'll know if I'm ready?

Bingo.

You're lucky I hid some eggs

in the back of the freezer.

Mm.

Seven pancakes.

Seven pancakes.

So?

So, you wanna play poker?

No.

Of course not.

Most important thing to know about poker

is it's not gambling.

It's deception.

Who taught you all of this?

A special friend you might meet one day.

Well teach me!

Lisa, let me eat my pancakes first, please thank you.

Fine.

Now, if I have a flush and you have

a straight, who wins?

You.

Very good, and what is the highest hand?

Royal flush.

Also very good.

Speaking of royal, there is mail for you

from the Queen, whoever that is.

When did it arrive?

Yesterday, it's in this stack.

My dearest Daniel.

Oh, how I've missed you.

Welcome home.

Time flies by when you've got my boys

protecting you in prison, doesn't it?

I'm sure you're reading this letter

wondering why I sent it.

Well Daniel, you're too good at what you do

and I want you back.

I've been patiently waiting for you

to come home and play in my sandbox.

Not to mention, we've got unfinished business.

Oh, now be a good boy

and come visit me tonight.

Don't make me come find you, Daniel.

A lady never likes to wait.