Copenhagen

- Got a cigarette? - I ain't got a cigarette.

She's fucking stuck up.

She thinks she's better than she is, you know?

Especially with her fucking British... ha ha... accent.

I mean, like... Cigarettes?

And you know, if he'd just manned the fuck up and cut...

- cut her loose... - Uh-huh.

We could've enjoyed this trip, you know.

Like tonight, for example, you know?

We could have helped out your... What was her name?

Marie? Maria? You know...

We could've had a good time, like the four of us.

What does it say?

Can't you read it?

It's Danish.

We're in Berlin. We speak German here.

Don't you guys speak five languages and all that shit?

My boyfriend knows some Danish.

We can ask him.

I think we should keep your boyfriend out of this.

Oh, fuck!

Wait! Hon...

Why do you have to be such an asshole?

Look at this place.

We should be in a hostel with dreadlocked Austrian girls.

I'm in the middle here, okay?

Jen?

She says that the three of us aren't working together.

What? Seriously? So I'm the fucking problem now?

No, no, no. Look, I...

I appreciate your openness to Jen coming in the first place,

but don't you want to do this trip alone anyway?

Alone? Why the fuck would I want to do it alone?

If I wanted to do it alone, I would've done it 10 years ago.

I would've stayed in a hostel, not a hotel.

And I would've met plenty of people.

And by people, I mean fucking hot girls.

But that wasn't the plan.

The plan was to do this together.

You gotta put yourself in my position.

What would you do?

- No. - What do you mean, no?

No, I'm not putting myself in your position

'cause I would never have brought a girlfriend

on a guys' trip.

Why do you listen to her anyway?

I mean, you broke up with her already.

No, we broke up last Christmas for three days.

Do you remember Jason with Penny

and all that back-and-forth back-and-forth shit

and they still got married?

How did that turn out?

You're comparing Jen and me to Penny and anal beads?

It's not the beads. It's what the beads represent.

Can I help you?

I need a map.

Look at the size of the bed.

I'm ready and waiting. It's bouncy, eh?

- That's sexy. - Yeah!

That is really fucking sexy.

I know it's sexy.

There's a bar next door.

I was gonna grab a beer. You wanna come?

Go away!

You guys took long enough.

Jeremy's not coming.

So are you tracking down your family tomorrow?

That's why we're here, isn't it?

I want to apologize.

I honestly thought it would be okay,

me coming on this trip, but...

But what?

It was obviously a bad idea.

Yeah.

I agree. This was a guys' trip.

You have no idea how lucky you are to have Jeremy as a friend.

You think this is funny?

We have love. We have each other.

I'm just worried because I think

you're gonna be so fucking alone.

- Shut up! - Excuse me?

What the fuck do you want from me?

This was a mistake.

Sit.

Please.

There's something you and me need to acknowledge.

And what's that?

The night you met Jeremy, you wanted to fuck me first.

And then Prague?

Now, I know you were drunk, but still...

You are the most pathetic guy I have ever met.

Even now... I bet you wouldn't mind

just a little quickie in the bathroom.

All right.

Whoa!

All right!

Oh, yeah!

Okay?

Just, uh, let's make some noise.

- Like what? - Just moan loud.

- Ohh! - Yeah, that's right.

- I need you to moan loud. - Oh, yeah!

Yeah, that's right. Louder, like this.

- Oh, yeah! - Oh, yeah!

Come on, you can do it, that's it.

Oh, yeah! Ohh!

- All right. - Okay. Okay!

Mmm!

Oh! Oh, yeah!

Oh, shit, yeah!

All right!

Oh!

Yeah! Oh, yeah!

Yeah!

Hey! What the fuck?

We're going to London to get married.

Jeremy proposed last night.

He wrote you a note. It's all in there.

Where is he?

I'm sorry it couldn't work out.

Look, I wanna talk to him.

Just let us go.

You wanna get some breakfast?

I have to go to work.

Call in sick.

Fucking grammar, retard.

You dropped this.

You keep it.

Can you help me with this, please?

- You speak Danish, right? - Yeah.

Yeah, right. What does this say?

Fuck!

- Oh, shit. The address! - Sorry!

No, no, read it. What's the address?

- You didn't make a copy? - Idiot!

What? English!

I said it was your fault.

No. The truth is you suck at your job.

- This isn't even my job. - Good!

Don't make a career out of it.

I'm not going to tell you the address.

Really? You read it?

You didn't read it.

ForhÂbningsholms Alle, number 49.

Wait. Can you write that down? Where is it on the map?

It's here.

You're welcome.

Hi. Hey, can you...

Do you know where I am on this?

All right, which way is north?

Got it. It's that way, right?

Stroger, Stroger, Stroger.

Stroger?

Fuck off, man.

Cool hostel, huh?

Yeah.

Do you know where this address is?

I've been looking all day.

Oh, I'm not from here.

Sorry.

Right. Me neither.

Where you from?

Canada. You?

New York.

Oh, me too.

But you just said you're from Canada.

Isn't that what we're supposed to tell people?

I think it's okay to be American again.

- Okay. - Shh.

So where in New York are you from?

Jersey.

- Oh! - Mm-hmm.

Jersey.

- What are you doing here? - Um...

I have family here. I'm looking for them.

- Oh! - What about you?

I'm here with a friend doing like a tour thing.

Oh.

So what should I do?

Where should I go?

There's a club called Culture Box.

- It's awesome. - A club.

Yeah, like a nightclub.

- Wow. - Oh, here's my friend.

Is that where you're going tonight?

Um...

No. Our bus leaves for Berlin in like two hours.

Sucks.

Really? I heard Berlin's cool.

I mean it sucks that you are leaving.

Well, see ya!

What can I help you with?

Just the bill for that, please, thanks.

Are you here alone?

You know, it is when you're all alone,

with no friends, no family to lean on, that...

that you find out if you are the kind of person

that one can lean on.

Great.

Yes, yes, it is great.