White Collar

Why are you so early?

The park removed my breakfast bench.

Lucky me. What's in that?

It's nothing. Hence my woe.

You know, ira the voice-box says

we missed our chance to nab a sargent painting.

Ira the voice-box doesn't talk.

He signs.

What's your point?

Neal, we are con men, grifters,

mountebanks, flimflammers.

We have to keep our skills sharp.

"Flimflammers"?

See? I'm already becoming a dinosaur.

Look, I get that you have to play boy scout

until your commutation hearing,

but you are seriously hindering my primal instinct.

I don't think a few more weeks

will render you extinct, Winosaurus.

Okay. A few more weeks.

What happens if you get it?

Have you thought about that?

My anklet comes off?

Yeah, and you're once again

walking the streets of Manhattan a free man.

I could get a job.

A job? Seriously?

'Cause people love to hire ex-cons.

You're gonna look dashing in janitorial green.

I was thinking more along the lines of corporate security

or paid consultant to the FBI.

Oh, a GS-10 with a 401(K).

Keep your enemies close, right?

Starting salary of 45 grand.

That will not keep you in those fancy ties.

Then I guess we will have to supplement my income.

This entire weekend, assume I do not exist.

Don't e-mail me. Don't call me.

Don't even think about calling you.

Don't even think about thinking about calling you.

Unless someone dies

or Neal does something big,

and maybe not even if someone dies.

Ah, the dead body might be mine.

Christie and I are supposed to go ring shopping.

Does that mean that you --

Now that New York has legalized gay marriage...?

Yeah. Yeah, Christie proposed.

You're engaged! Congratulations!

Congratulations, Agent Berrigan.

Well, you guys go shopping for rings.

Jones can cover Neal. Yeah.

No, no. This is an important assignment.

Hey, hey, hey. Do not let Caffrey hijack your bling moment.

No, I want to help with Neal.

I'm kind of pushing for a longer engagement.

Things are moving faster than I thought they would.

Oh, completely understand.

Yeah. Been there, been there.

All right, well, then, have fun watching Neal.

Why do I get the feeling this is about me?

Not everything's about you.

Diana and Christie are engaged.

Congratulations. When's the date?

What?

I assume I'm invited.

Follow me.

I'm not invited?

Relax.

What are your plans this weekend?

Oh, Mozzie has an in to meet the street artist Mis.Rule.

She waltzed into the met and put one of her pieces up --

She sounds lovely, but you're booked. I am?

Get in. We'll talk about it.

Actually, I'll talk. You'll listen.

It's Mis.Rule. Drop off mis.Rule.

This weekend, I'm gonna be too busy

to deal with you not being busy.

Ah, yes. Elizabeth's birthday.

You need time to scramble for a gift?

For once, I don't.

The charming Neal Caffrey will have to help elsewhere.

Ah, you planned ahead. What'd you get her?

I sent all of our old photographs

and wedding footage out to be professionally edited

into a DVD montage.

Sounds nice.

Yeah, I got the platinum package and everything.

Comes in a beautiful satin-bound book.

And I'm flying in her parents.

Your in-laws are coming? Yeah.

You don't look happy.

I don't? No.

I have an entire weekend

of her mom singing "Bad Boys" ahead of me.

Oh, Peter, you have to introduce me.

Oh, no, no.

I'm not giving you that kind of ammunition.

But I'm -- No.

You're working on a case

involving a stolen Stradivarius from the symphony.

All right. You like that stuff.

All right, it's not "stuff."

Antonio Stradivari crafted some of the most unique

and beautiful violins in the world.

There are only 650 left.

I knew you couldn't resist the lure of a rich provenance.

Who's the case agent?

Before I tell you,

remember that your commutation hearing is coming up,

and you should consider this an opportunity

to impress Diana, Jones, and myself

with your maturity and self-restraint.

Peter, what did you do?

You're loaning me to my ex-girlfriend?

She's helped us in the past.

Now she's calling in her favor.

Come on. Smile.

Sara.

Neal.

Good. You're already getting along.

You'll keep him in line?

I'm in charge. He's my headache.

Good. Everything's settled.

You kids have fun.

Wait. You're leaving?

Sara will fill you in.

She's the boss on this one.

Meet our suspect --

Bryan McKenzie.

McKenzie.

Where have I heard that name before?

From me.

He's V.P. of Sterling Bosch's New York division.

You suspect your boss is mixed up

with the missing Stradivarius?

Well, he's very busy developing relationships,

trying to expand our brand past insurance.

He doesn't work the field anymore,

but he took the violin on as a case,

and then it went missing -- doesn't add up.

It's pre-1700 -- valuable but sells for less.

So why is Bryan interested in it?

When was it reported missing?

That's just the thing -- it wasn't.

And I only know about it

because I saw Bryan creating a file on it.

He said he would have it handled by the end of the weekend,

and then he changed the subject.

Well, if he thinks he has it handled,

then he already has a head start.

Well, he's been working from home the last day

and has not left once, except...

To teach his daily tai chi class.

You've been following him?

Well, I can't use Sterling Bosch resources

to investigate my own boss.

That's why I called Peter.

He does like a good gut detector.

Bryan's, um...

Bigger in person?

Easy, right?

Just wouldn't want to come face-to-face

with him in a very slow fight.

If Bryan is doing something illegal,

he's putting my entire division at risk.

And with it, your job.

Well, yes, and a lot of people's jobs. Right.

Now, unfortunately, I have to keep up appearances at work,

but we'll reconvene tomorrow at 8:00 A.M.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. 8:00 A.M. on a Saturday?

Oh, Peter said I'm the boss.

Huh.

You know he's secretly hoping

this will bring us back together, right?

Like "If he can get past you hiding the treasure,"

"so can I" sort of thing?

If this is a problem for you...

No, no, not at all.

But we're going to establish one rule.

I love rules. Good.

Rule number 1 -- don't date the boss.

Too late!

Freeze. FBI...

Oh, it's you.

Are you expecting a girl scout packing heat?

I thought El's parents were early.

I told Diana to pick you up at home.

Yeah, and I told your babysitting service

to pick me up here.

You're not being chaperoned. Really?

All right, I'm cautious this weekend. Sue me.

Afraid I'll crash the sears family portrait?

This is a handmade Mrs. Mitchell original.

She's a wonderful woman.

With a delightful sense of humor.

They live in Illinois. It's cold.

I bet she makes matching t-shirts for family vacations.

Am I right?

She works at a specialty-foods gift shop,