The Big Door Prize

What are you waiting for?

Give it a whirl.

- Happy Birthday... - Happy Birthday...

Hold on a second. Who's--

- ...Dusty - ...Dad -

- Happy Birthday to you - Happy Birthday to you

- Aah! I got 'em all. - Yay!

What did you wish for?

I totally forgot to do it.

You didn't make a wish?

Hey, with a family like this, what else could I need?

That's fucking dumb.

So you want me to return your 40 presents now?

I got 40 presents? Get 'em!

Let's move this along.

- Original trail mix. - Wow.

A new headlamp!

Batteries.

- That's better. - Okay, honey.

What's in here? What are you eating?

A shirt that's funny and also makes me feel bad.

I'm really proud of it.

Four dollars...

- stapled together. - Love you, Dad.

A scooter! Shut up!

Oh, my God, yeah. That is the perfect gift for a fully grown adult man!

And look, it even comes with a camo helmet

because you're practically military now that you drive a scooter.

- Kinda. - Okay. You can go to school now.

Thank you.

- Thank you. - Happy birthday.

Thank you, Tri.

- Look at this! You are amazing. - Look at-- You're just so cute.

You're gonna be amazing on it. I can't wait to see you.

I'm gonna sit with it. Get used to it.

Okay.

Okay.

This is a surprise!

- Too much. - All right.

Ready?

Ooh. Wow. Look at that.

It's-- It's a-- It's a--

It's a theremin.

- A theremin. - Yeah, yeah.

It's this old-timey musical instrument that uses electromagnetic waves.

You don't even have to touch it.

- Did I ask for that? - No.

No.

Just figured you might like it because you're so musical.

You're always whistling.

Are you surprised?

You've outdone yourself, darling.

Yay. And you know that's not it, right?

It wouldn't be your birthday

if I didn't have another little surprise for you when you get home tonight.

- Oh, my goodness. - Mm-hmm.

Cassandra Hubbard, it's not even Thursday.

I know.

Whoo. Shit.

Hey! Morning, Izzy.

Ooh, I think you mean, ''Good morning, Mayor Fontaine.''

That is what I meant. Thank you for correcting me.

Dusty! I see you got a new hog.

- She's a sweet ride. - Yeah.

All she needs is a bit of rocket fuel.

- Okay. - Two milks, one sugar, please.

It's on the house, birthday boy.

My secret's out.

I'm turning 21.

I see you noticed my new toy.

Believe it or not, for the two bucks you saved on coffee,

that thing will tell you your life's potential.

Is that right? Where'd you get it?

No idea.

Jacob was manning the store when it arrived on Friday.

But a lot of people used it over the weekend,

and it seems to be good for business, so I'm not asking questions.

What do you think, Mr. Malik?

Best two bucks you ever spent?

Jimbo!

Morning, Larry. Morning, Lisa!

Hey, Jamie! Hey, Jamie C!

Hi, Jasmine. Ooh, new hair, I like it.

Hi.

Hi. How you doing?

Hiya.

- Hey, Josh. - Hey, nice scooter, birthday boy!

Thank you. You can borrow it!

- I'ma hold you to that. - Maybe.

- Hey, what's happening? - Mr. Hubbard! Ay, check it out.

Guess who's gonna be your next great "Meteorologist."

I see someone's been to Mr. Johnson's.

What-- Axel, is that your life potential?

That's right. And according to the MORPHO,

I'm gonna be building your rocket ships one day.

That's not even close to what a meteorologist is.

He probably just made the card himself.

- Aha! Boom. - Wha-- No!

You see, who needs a silly machine?

Savannah just proved her potential as a criminal prosecutor.

No, no, no. Jacob! Jacob was there. He saw me do it.

Jake. Jake, come on. Back me up.

I think it's bullshit.

All right.

Let's check our language and open our textbooks.

I believe we were discussing the wives of Henry VIII.

Let's try and get through them a little quicker than he did.

He got through them pretty quick. Doesn't make sense.

I like it. No.

So, if you wanna know if it's gonna rain tomorrow,

all you gotta do is call up my worst student, Axel.

Maybe I will, okay?

Who knows?

Maybe this will inspire Axel to actually...

What? To become a meteorologist?

Or just believe in himself.

You know, Nat, she got ''Storyteller'' on her card

and said it felt like someone reached into her soul

and articulated her secret dream.

I don't think you're allowed to call it a secret dream

if you constantly tell people you're a storyteller.

The woman just likes to gossip.

Okay, yes, but how does the machine know that?

It's clearly a scam.

You're only hearing about it from people who got a good life potential.

Nobody's gonna tell you if they got "Third Best Garbageperson in Deerfield."

That's what you got, isn't it?

What about you?

What do you think your life potential would be?

Happy, happy celebration It's your special day

We're so glad you came And brought your family today

At Giorgio's Italian Restaurant And sports center

You'll always be In the happiest mood

'Cause we bring endless fun And endless foods

Yay!

That was really nice. That was really ni--

It just-- It didn't feel like the entire staff was singing.

I understand that, yeah. It feels like this little section here.

- This section avoiding eye contact. - So quiet.

Why did you have to come here?

We came for the ''endless fun

- and the endless foods.'' - Endless foods.

All right. Back to work, people.

She doesn't know that we're her parents.

You don't recognize it's your mum and your dad.

From your house!

- We made you! - Yeah! Trina!

We love you!

- Hey, hey, hey. What can I say? - Hey!

It's hard to find good help these days.

Must be something in her genes,

and I know it's not coming from Cass, so I'm looking over here!

Okay, Giorgio.

I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.

We're having fun. We're having a little bit of fun.

Kid's got potential.

Speaking of, you two tried this MORPHO machine?

- Oh, my God. - We were just talking about that.

You wanna know what I got?

''Superstar.''

Is that spooky or what?

I was legitimately spooked.

- That's spooky as shit. - That is scary.

I don't know if you two remember,

but I was the first Italian-American goalie

in New York Rangers history.

And the youngest.

- How would we not remember that? - It's printed on the menu.

I was brimming with potential

until I suffered a permanent injury to my catching hand

- while I was dead-lifting over 465 pounds. - Yeah, yeah, we know the story.

- How much were you lifting though? - But if it wasn't for that, I guess,

- I wouldn't have this place... - Hey.

...which is also a lifelong dream.

Yeah, so, I guess, as that spooky machine can attest,

''Superstar'' can mean a lot of different things, Big D.

Dusty won't try it.

Really?

What? Why not, bro?

You don't have something you always wanted to be?

Some secret ambition or talent?

Ooh. Dusty is a really good whistler.

Among other secret talents.

A good whistler. Wow.

Cass is a lucky woman.

And you, my friend, are a very lucky man. I've been saying this since high school.

To end up with this one?

Maybe that's your life potential, ''World's Luckiest Man.''

- What do you think? - Yeah.

I think I have everything I ever wanted.

Maybe you didn't want enough.

Enjoy your night, you two.

- Hey, play some of the games, okay? - Mm-hmm.

- Get it now, babe. Whoo! - Yeah, yeah. Every time.

Shit! Watch out.

- I think it's the form. You hot? - I need to let loose here.

- Yeah, it's too restrictive. - Yeah, yeah. Let loose, babe.

Babe!

- No, I'm all right. - Zero points.

- Fuck. - Ooh!