Ballmastrz: 9009

Ballmastrz.

Holo card day!

I'm so excited!

- Ugh! - Today, we'll be immortalized

as athletes in holo card form.

You really care about this baloney?

I do!

I programmed a 3D avatar of myself

into this blank holo card

so that I could simulate different holo card poses

and find the most optimal pose for me to perform my holo card.

This pose has a 98% chance of pleasing my most dedicated fans.

So a 98% chance

of pleasing nobody! Got it!

Man, what the hell is this line for?

Drugs? I hope it's drugs.

It's holo card day, Gaz!

Agh! Would you keep it to a low rumble, kid?

I am still metabolizing

everything I put into my body last night.

You sure you want to go with that pose, huh?

Don't you think it's optimal?

I think it's craptimal.

Here, try this.

That's right, baby. - But it's mostly all ball.

True. There is a lot of ball,

but you gotta give the people what they want!

People want balls!

Agh! You're probably gonna wanna

overexpose the mutate line.

- Why? - 'Cause pictures of me?

Always come out dark.

Whoa.

Agh! Aah!

Yeah-eah!

That's right, baby.

Would you prefer I come back tomorrow,

when you're not hung over?

And fat.

Agh! Screw you

and take the stupid thing.

Agh!

This looks even worse than you do in real life.

Would you like a do-over?

Fix it in post, genius.

Who cares about holo cards anyway?

They're for lame babies.

Oh, love holo cards!

And I have an extensive

holo card collection,

of holo cards!

Exactly!

Would you guys like to see it?!

No!

- This is a '63 Kilmore Crusher. - Arghhh!

Here's my '57 Mega-Fist.

I have Stinkfinger's league MVP card.

And this one's my most beloved.

What's up?

This is from Gaz's rookie year

with the Boom Boom Boys.

You have a Gaz Boom Boom rookie card?!

- H-Hey! - I remember these!

Check it out.

If you turn it like so...

and view it from the proper angle...

I wonder if she broke a league record

for that athletic feat.

Ew! Make it stop!

Aw, that's tragically embarrassing.

I don't get it.

What am I supposed to see?

What the hell?!

- Aww! - Hey!

I didn't think you could find those anymore.

I bought them all up when they came out.

All of them, you say?

That was very funny!

Yeah, yeah.

It's as if you were sucking a giant dong!

- I still don't get it. - Holy whoa!

These are worth a frickin' fortune!

Gaz, where's your stash?!

I don't have 'em anymore.

I left them with my ex, a few exes back.

Well, come on! Let's go get 'em and sell 'em.

We'll make a mint!

No! We should get them

to defend Gaz's honor!

Eat me, stumpy.

What are we waiting for?! Come on!

Take us to your ex's place!

Uh, no way. Dude's a total psycho.

Then just give me his address and I'll go.

I'll be happy to control all the profits

and all the embarrassing sports memorabilia.

No! I will retrieve the cards and defend Gaz's honor!

- Money! - Honor!

Knock it off, you two!

- Honor! - Money!

All right, fine, we'll go!

Jeez!

Here we are.

We'll divide it fairly three ways:

10% for you, 10% for you,

80% for me.

Gaz, I have no interest

in profiting off your honor.

But I do have a question:

If your ex-boyfriend is so bad,

why didn't he release the holo cards

back to the public to embarrass you?

I don't know, kid. Like I said, dude's crazy!

Someone ring the bell!

Aaaaah!

- Identify yourself. - Hello.

We'd like to speak to the owner of the house, please.

I'm Ace Ambling and this is Baby Ball.

We play for the Leptons.

Losers!

Hey, brother ball!

Ball to ball, right? You're gonna let us in, right?

Balls helping balls?

Beat it, losers.

Ewww!

We will not beat it!

We are here to defend the honor of Gaz Digzy!

Aaagh!

Intruder. Intruder. Intruder.

- Ow! - Ah, shit.

Aaaaah!

- Agh! - Aaaaah!

- Agh. - Aaaaaaah!

Agh!

Whaaah-ah-ah-ah!

Whoa-oa.

Aha! - Ballmastrz.

Oh, shit.

- Ha-ha! - Incoming!

Ballmastrz.

Ballmastrz.

Ballmastrz.

That's one hell of a security system.

- Come on! Let's do this! - No turning back now.

- Who dares to break in - Huh?