The Appleton Ladies' Potato Race

Mabel. In you get.

Mabel. Car.

Mabel. Come on, mate.

Get in the car.

Mabel. Car!

Car! Come on, mate.

Come on, don't be a dickhead.

Hey.

I know that it's a bit scary. It is for me too.

But we're going home.

Hey? We're going home.

In you pop.

There you go. Good girl.

Good job.

Okay.

Oh no...

Steady on.

We don't even have a doctor yet.

Grass for days, Mabes.

Rabbits to terrorise.

So much to sniff.

You're gonna love it.

Hey?

Here we are, Mabes. Hey?

Who coughed?

Wait outside if you're going to cough.

Mrs Bunyan. Hello.

Surgery opens at nine, Dr Anderson.

-I'm so sorry. -Well, you've got a busy morning.

- Let's get moving. - Thank you.

No animals in the surgery.

Oh, Mabel's a therapy dog.

She'll sit right here in the corner.

No, she will not.

Bloody hell.

This is a doctor's surgery, not a five-star rehab

in the Byron Bay Hinterlands.

- Therapy dog. - Dr H said that she'd be fine.

Dr Holliday is on holiday and I run the show here.

She can come in with me then.

Sit down, Billy Pope. Wait your turn like everyone else.

Thank you, Mr Pope.

It's great to have you back again, Dr Anderson.

Oh, cut it out. I'm Penny.

I'm so sorry that I'm late, everyone.

Hopefully, you won't be waiting too long.

Come on, Mabel. Come on.

Oh.

Mabel. Good name.

See this mole on my arm?

It's been there about three years.

Yeah, that's nothing to worry about, but we'll book you in

for a full-body skin check in town.

- Could it be cancer? - Oh, probably not.

But it's worth checking after a lifetime of Appleton sun.

But there is a chance it could be cancer?

It's best to rule everything out.

Okay.

I don't want to take up more of your time, Penny,

but there is one other thing.

Well, Miss Vaughn, I am here for all the things.

Apparently, it's going to be a big year

for baked goods at the show.

Are you going in the scone competition this year

with your nanna's recipe?

And go against these?

No way.

Very wise.

What was it?

Put your potatoes down, love. Have a stretch.

- We'll do plain sprints, no weights. -

Aunty Barb, that's the last thing I need to be doing.

Get a drink. Then sprints.

I'm not going to win with these times.

Kazzy Pearce will be able to beat me even if she's still preggers.

Stop that.

You're the greatest female potato racer

the town's ever seen.

You'll get there.

Come on.

We can fit you in around three, Gavin.

I've got a job at three, Mum.

Well, I don't know what to tell you, son.

- Hi, Gavin. - Where's Doctor H?

Ah, he's on long service leave,

so I'm here taking his place for the next few months.

Nah.

Ah, Kazzy Pearce.

So, I'm due in two weeks, right?

The potato race is in four.

Your sister's not beating me again, got it?

Got it.

But there's some risks racing so close to having a baby.

Yeah, why don't you take that over there

and put her over by the books?

- Do you know about prolapse? - Yeah.

Of course I know about prolapse. That's what I'm here for.

Okay, good.

So, what undies do you recommend?

Undies?

To hold everything in me clunge.

Like, surely there's some prescription undies?

Ah, yeah. They're called prolapse support garments.

- But they're pretty expensive. - I can't pay through Medicare?

I've got a health care card.

Um...

Here, take a look.

Three hundred bucks! Fuck me dead!

So, what's the computer situation here?

There is no computer situation here.

You and Dr H do everything by hand?

Always have.

What if the hospital needs something quickly?

Seriously?

A fax machine?

We have a system. It's worked perfectly well for 30 years.

Dr H mentioned I'll probably be here longer than his holiday, didn't he?

He did.

So, I'm going to need a computer, okay?

Righto. Do what you like.

Heard there's a new doctor in town and she's a massive cockwomble!

Heard the local hairdresser still uses streak caps

and is a massive slut bag.

Streak caps? Foils forever.

Dr Anderson, if you won't be needing me

- for anything else...? - No.

Are you making Joan call you "Dr Anderson"?

Of course not. Mrs Bunyan, you can't be calling me Dr Anderson.

It's weird.

I'll be calling you Dr Anderson while we're here.

- So long. Bye-bye. - Bye.

Still a bundle of fun, your mother-in-law.

She's all right.

Did you know they don't use computers here? Not one.

I don't use a computer either.

You're a hairdresser.

- Hey, put that back. - I need it.

- Ah, you don't need a speculum. - I do.

You can administer your own pap smear?

Yeah, maybe.

I love a pap smear.

- You're mental. - You are.

So, speaking of,

are you going to try again?

Ah, I have about half an egg left.

I've told you, you can have some of mine.

It's not meant to be.

I'm looking forward to Elliott's party. Are you organised?

No. Thank God for Aunty Barb.

Thank God for Aunty Barb.

I'm going to book you in for a treatment next week.

You're a mess.

I'm telling you, she'll get bored.

Joan! She'll be here any minute.

- I don't care if she hears me. - Well, I do.

I want her to feel welcome.

She's had a rough couple of years. Go easy, hey?

So disappointing that man got her promotion.

Yeah, it was so unfair.

Oh, I can't believe she'll be here.

And just in time for the Appleton Show.

Maybe she can help with show business.

We're all right with show business.

Ethan? You decided what show bag you're getting this year?

Aunty Barb, I'm 19.

I have an apprenticeship and I make me own craft beer.

Never too old for a show bag, but.

Have you told Elliot about the music?

No, I didn't.

I thought we could tell him tonight together on his birthday.

What, Nanna?

Well, we'll have to run it in front of the committee...

We are the committee.

The Cold Chisel tribute band...

Bold Sizzle.

They like to use a local support act, so we gave them your demo...

- And they loved it! - Of course they loved it.

Seriously?

What do you say to your nanna and your Aunty Barb?

I'm bloody stoked. Thank you so much.

Happy birthday, darling.

Your first paid gig, and on Appleton Race Day.

- It's paid? - You bet it is. 250 dollars.

What?