Frayed

Your mum's got no right

showing up after all these years. No fucking right.

I'm not fat! You take that back with immediate effect!

- Or what, you'll sit on me? - I've been sober for 12 years.

Who, my sister? She's run up a two grand phone bill.

How are you gonna pay for this?

I need to earn money, Fiona. I mean, proper money.

I've got a meeting in Sydney with some investors soon.

These business trips are so not legal.

- You reckon you could show me what he's up to. - You've ruined my life!

- I was gonna be something, Sammy. - Why are you running from me?

- Oh, my God. She's angling for the house. - What?

You have to get that bitch out of there

before she steals everything right out from under your nose.

Oh, yeah! Come to mama!

- Big Jim's coming at ya. - Oh! Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

- Grrr! - Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

Ugh! Ugh!

Oh. Oh.

I'm sorry about this.

You deserve a classy location for getting boned.

Oh, no, no. That was great.

I haven't screwed in the back of a car... in days.

What do you mean? We've never... Oh.

It's just... The house is so crowded. There's no fucking privacy.

We'll get your house back.

Know that number on the phone bill,

the English one your sister keeps ringing?

- Yeah. - Well, I've found a way to call it.

Well, that's really expensive.

My cousin's a pool cleaner.

He knows when all the rich people are away on holiday.

So we break in and use their pool?

No, we break in and we use their phone.

Oh, yeah. We'll find out what that scheming bitch

of a sister of yours is up to.

In the meantime, don't get attached to those kids.

They're a trap.

You're incredible, Beverly.

You're a man of ambition and drive. You hunger for greatness.

Together we can do something quite remarkable.

Now, where are my underpants?

That's it. Come on. Keep it up. Keep it up.

See your man before you pass it.

Nice work. Good hands. Good hands.

That's it. Keep it going. Keep it going!

Ow.

Fuck! Oh, shit. Shit.

- You OK, darl? - Well, yeah. No, I'm fine.

- You all right? - Yes. No. Shoo.

- Oh, she slipped over in dog shit. - She needs first aid.

Does anyone know first aid?

- Shut up! - What's going on?

Oh, my God. What is this small-town kindness?

She slipped over in dog shit. Looks really bad.

I think some poo went in her mouth.

- How is that even possible? - All right. Look out. I know first aid.

Sammy?

What are you...

Come... Come on.

Thank you, all of you,

for turning that into such a bizarrely big spectacle.

You're gonna wanna wash that off, there's taps up at the top.

OK. OK, Dan. I'm fine, thanks.

We've gotta get back to practise.

Mr Atkins, you can stay here. Give me the stopwatch.

- I can time the sprints. - Nah, she's all right.

All right. Here you go, Luke.

I know it says boobs every time you give it back.

But if you end at 1:35, you can make it say boobies.

Ha! Thanks, Mr Atkins.

They really like you.

- Oh, what, does that surprise you? - No.

I think it's great.

Remember our PE teacher Mr Isaac?

Put your name as Duncan for four years.

Are we gonna do this every time we bump into each other?

- Take a trip down memory lane? There you go. - I was just being friendly.

Put some antiseptic on that

and you can change that bandage when you get home.

You know what? Yeah. Yeah, the kids do like me.

- I'm good with kids. - Oh, Christ.

- Here we go. - Yeah. Here we go.

You never gave me a chance to show you who I could be.

You've been in jail.

Sorry, is that the bit you wanted me to see?

Or is it living in your mum's backyard?

Wow, that is low, even for you.

To refresh your memory, back then, all you did was get high and surf.

You weren't in any position to parent a child.

You're right. I was a fuck up, but I've done my best to correct that.

You are ruthless and cold-hearted. I don't think you can fix that.

Yeah. Bye, Dan!

My God, some DID go in my mouth.

Oh, fuck! Urgh.

Oh, shit! Oh, that's a hot bike seat.

Mum, my uniform's really tight. My stomach hurts.

- 'Cos you ate four bowls of Choco Bombs, John Candy. - Shut up, Leonard.

Honey, are you still constipated?

- Have you had a bowel movement? - Jesus Christ.

- Can I stay home? - No, honey, there's no-one here to look after you.

- And I've got to go to work. - Hi, guys!

- Yo, Abby. - Hi. What's up?

See? You've already made a friend.

- I hate it here. - Yeah. I know you do.

Listen, I'm getting paid soon.

I'll be able to buy you some new clothes.

- And me a BMX with tuffs? - Yes. Yeah, of course.

Now, I love you both. Have a good day at school.

Mum, you're embarrassing me.

If you're embarrassed, try eating dog shit for breakfast.

Oh, Jim. Hey! Can I have a lift to work?

- It's really hot. - No.

You get nothing until you pay me back for that phone bill.

I told you, I'll pay you back, all right?

Seriously, you're gonna make me ride my bike in this heat? Really?

- Mum! Tell Jim to give me a lift. - Ignore her, Mum.

- She's manipulating. - Will you two please shut up?

Just shut up.

Stop asking me to get involved in your arguments.

How old are we?

- Yeah, how old are we? - Ow!

And I need you two to clear your stuff out of the basement.

Yeah? I'm sick of my house being used as a dumping ground.

- Why are you so angry? - No, I'm not angry. I just...

I have to get a haircut.

- Just for tonight. - It's a Monday.

You've got AA tonight. You're getting a haircut for that?

No. I'm just... I'm going on a date tonight.

- Whoo-hoo! - Wow.

Yeah. His name's Peter, and I met him at the pool.

- Mum, tart. - Yeah.

- You dirty fucking whore. - Oh.

Just thought that would sound funny.

Mum,

do you think it's a good idea missing a meeting?

Sorry, you've been gone for 20 years without a word,

and you're worried about me missing a meeting tonight?

- Sammy, hop in. - Brilliant. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thanks, Jim. I really...

I'm just joking with you.

No, get in.

You did not just do that!

Yeah?

Oh, you fucking did not!

Hey! Get the...

It's on my balls.

Hey!

So, what's up with the sexy little uniform, Tess?

It was the only one in spares. I forgot we had PE today.

Oh, it really suits you.

You should forget your uniform more often.

I suppose you know the timetable better,

this being your second time in year nine.

- What's on your sandwich? - Choco Bombs.

- Is that an English thing? - It's a "we have no money thing."

You sure Wade won't find us here?

Oh, no. No-one comes to these toilets since the rat infestation.

Did you see Abby Harris today?

- She had her hair up. - She's so hot, man.

Tell me about it. I'd like to put my...

- ... penis in her. - Oh, me, too.

Just not at the same time that yours...

Only good thing about living here is I'm across the street from Abby.

This place sucks shit. Do you have any idea what it feels like

to have your home ripped out from under you?

Yeah, I was four when I arrived in Australia.

Fled the Cultural Revolution

after both my grandparents died from starvation.

Right, so you have some idea of how hard this is for me.

You know, we were rich before my dad died.

- How did he die? - Heart attack.

I miss home.

Every time I speak here, I get shit.

Know what the bus driver calls me?

Mary Poppins.

- At least you sound Australian. - At least you're white.

Everywhere I go, I get called nip, gook, chink,

- slap head, PowerPoint... - It isn't a competition, Hong Kong Phooey.

- Oh, fuck off, Lady Diana. - That's Princess Diana to you.

- Charlotte. - Ashley.

- Lucy. - Jodie.

- Michelle. - Tim.

- Dylan. - Tony.

Andrew.

Lisa.

Go on, Tess. Join this one. All right.

To your positions. No-one throws the ball

till I blow the whistle, and...

As soon as we're old enough, we should go to London.

- You'd love it. - You should play that angle with Abby more,

the whole London thing. Tell her you know BROS.

- What, the whole band? - Yeah.

You think she'd like that?

Which one of you fags like BROS?

No. No!

All right. Very good. Very good, everyone.

I'm gonna go through a bit of a tutorial.

So, hitting a moving target is not as easy as it looks, is it?

So I might just go through some techniques.