Father Brown

You are one cheeky madam! Hmm.

Good to see nothing's changed.

Sidney! Hello, Sid!

We weren't expecting you until tomorrow.

Yeah, I cadged a lift on the diplomatic flight, didn't I?

How's Aunt Fliss?

Yes, she's good. Sends her love. Oh, she's got news.

One for you. One for you.

And this comes with strict instructions to

open before Christmas.

I hope this will go perfectly with your sage twinset

for the WI Committee dinner.

The Duchess of Windsor has an identical one.

Ghastly woman, but there's no denying

she does have impeccable taste.

Oh!

I don't know what they've been feeding you,

but you're all skin and bones.

It's good to be home. Sit down. Sit down there.

Plans for the holiday, Sid?

Oh, you know, Mrs M's home-cooked food, and a nice quiet Christmas.

Oh! Oh! That is... Oh!

Any idea who she is?

Well, the money's on Scarlett Dreyfuss. December 1946.

The papers called it the Red Riding Hood murder.

Did a Big Bad Wolf get her?

She was leading lady in the Christmas pantomime.

Left after the dress rehearsal, and was never seen again.

Next day, the cleaning lady finds the bed unslept in.

And downstairs, there's blood and signs of a struggle.

How did they know it was murder?

A local man confessed,

though he wouldn't say what he did with the body.

Currently serving life in HMP Wynchurch.

Well, that's something.

What a waste.

Have I missed something?

The pantomime's being held at the Haydock this year,

so they need a much larger cast.

No chance. Spend my holiday cooped up in a theatre?

No, thank you. Mind you, Mrs M, you're the old pro.

Well, I was roped in for Fairy Godmother

while on tour with my late husband.

And I hear Father Brown is quite the thespian.

Pontius Pilate.

I think I gave a convincing performance.

The reviewer said it was murderous.

Speaking of which, remember this?

I spy the honourable Penelope Windermere.

Quite the box office draw.

Let's pray she can sing and act.

They won't be coming to listen to her.

I hope you don't expect me to audition. Douglas.

Douglas, shake a leg and let them in.

And may God have mercy on our souls.

Good afternoon. I'm Prudence Bovary, the artistic director.

Leading players, Rose Marie Sturgess

and Dr Eugene Cornelius.

And my son Douglas - our stage manager, actor, and pianist.

Aren't there a lot of you?

Right. Douglas.

Who are you reading for?

Prince Charming! It's played by a girl. Next!

Next!

Bunty Windermere, auditioning for Cinderella.

I don't think so, dear.

Sleeping in the cinders.

That's how I got my name.

Ever since my father died, things haven't been the same.

Except mother bosses me around. That's just the way it goes.

Like the ash in the fireplace, she does get up my nose.

Next!

Are you ready? One. One, two, three. Next!

This is Bridget McCarthy, auditioning for the Fairy Godmother.

At the stroke of midnight, please beware - these things return to

what they were. Your gown returns to rags and cloak.

Your pumpkin is no more a coach.

But dance, be gay, perchance to meet -

a prince to sweep you off your feet.

Young man! How tall are you?

Six foot two, why? Name?

Sidney Carter. Whoa, whoa, whoa - I'm not auditioning.

No, I'm just here for moral support.

Next!

Dear God!

The lights turn blue. It is dead midnight.

What do I fear?

Myself? There is none else here.

Richard loves Richard.

That is, I am who I am.

Is there a murderer here? No.

Yes, I am. Then fly.

Who from, myself?

Thank you.

Yes, sir?

Tell me about Benedict Clough.

Benny? Nice lad, but simple, if you get my drift.

Made a living making bicycle deliveries.

And Scarlett Dreyfuss?

A newcomer, rather racy for these parts.

Two ex-husbands and a roving eye.

She must have ruffled a few feathers.

She ruffled Benny's, all right.

He followed her round like Mary's little lamb.

So when she went missing he was number one suspect?

He was spotted bicycling home in the vicinity with scratches on his face.

When the police turned up to question him, he bolted.

And when apprehended, confessed his socks off.

"I did something bad to Miss Scarlett."

Tried to assault her. When she fought back, he panicked.

Caved her skull in with a doorstop.

Did he, now?

Why all the interest in a closed case?

Because according to the postmortem,

Benedict Clough's confession was a pack of lies.

Fairy Godmother...

Bunty Windermere.

I know you had your heart set...

No, no, no, that's wonderful. Don't you worry about me.

And you are...

Prompt.

An indispensable part of any production.

Yes, yes, of course it is.

And Father Brown is Daisy.

And so is Sid.

That's a mistake. I didn't even audition.

And how can you have two Daisys?

I think there is only one Daisy, but she's in two halves.

The house is all decorated.

Holly and ivy, and all the old decorations, except for the tree,

which I'm saving for Christmas Eve.

Padre. I'd say this was a nice surprise,

but then I'd be lying on both counts.

Benny isn't very fond of the police,

so they thought it best a chaperone was present.

Benny, this is Inspector Mallory.

He's not as scary as he looks.

Does he know when I'm going home?

I'm afraid not, but I do have some questions.

In your confession, you said you hit Scarlett on the head with

a doorstop, which you then buried with the body?

We found the body. And there's no signs of skull trauma.

Or a murder weapon.

When arrested, you said, "I did something bad to Miss Scarlett".

Can you explain what you meant?

She said I'd go to hell. Nonsense.

God forgives everyone who confesses their sins and tells the truth.

I had a delivery for Miss Scarlett.

I saw her car in the theatre.

So I went in...

Bad boy! Playing Peeping Tom on naked ladies! I wasn't.

You'll go to hell for that.

I brought your nerve powder from Dr Cornelius.

Was it worth it, Benny? Did you like what you saw?

There was no mention of this in your statement.

Benny can't read.

The policeman wrote it and said

if I signed it, then I'd be home in time for Christmas.

Lying's a Ten Commandment, isn't it, Father?

Number nine. Loud and clear.

What about in court? Why did you plead guilty?

Ma said it was for the best.

Maybe I should have a word with your ma.

She doesn't like policemen.

I'll take a chaperone.

Buttons, beware...

Buttons, beware...

The tree of truth will hear a lie.

The tree of truth will hear a lie and drop an apple in your eye.

Good luck, Buttons.

Is there a girl you love, Buttons?

No.

There is! Is she someone I know?

No. Ow...

I think you're fibbing, Buttons. Who is she?

It's... it's...

Too early! Wait for the cue.

Again, please!

Be a brick, Barbara, and gather up the apples.

Er, it's Bridg...

I was expecting something rather more festive.

If you mean the letters, I write what he wants to hear.

Benny loved Christmas. This place would look like Santa's grotto.

When they took him away, I burnt the lot.

What's the point of Christmas without a child?

Scarlett Dreyfuss....

Was a succubus.

Two Cs, one B. Thank you.

Any male was fair game, even a child in a man's body like Benny.

Tell me about these other men?

Ask that amateur dramatics lot.

And then ask yourself why the police didn't interview them at the time.

Mrs Clough.

As you clearly believe your son is innocent, why did you get him

to plead guilty?

To save him from the noose.

A guilty plea in return for a reduced charge of manslaughter.

Your DI Jones was very...

..persuasive.

DI Jones passed away last year.