Teresa Venerdì

DOCTOR, BEWARE

DR. PIETRO VIGNALI SPECIALIST IN CHILDREN'S DISEASES

It'll just take a second, one sharp yank.

You won't feel any pain, baby. Stay still for just a moment.

- One, two, three! - Ouch! You must have plucked 20!

No, it looks perfect. One of your eyebrows was lower.

- The right one? - No, the left.

But now the right one is lower. You over-plucked.

- Then I'll pluck the other. - No, that's enough! I'll do it myself.

- I'm not clumsy like you. - I'm a doctor, not a hairdresser.

- You're a doctor, huh? - Why, aren't I even that now?

- What is it? - The ledger.

So you're really leaving me then?

Yes, Doctor, I'm afraid, I'm too sensitive.

What?

When I see your creditors, it breaks my heart.

We couldn't care less about those creditors.

It breaks my heart for them, not for you! That poor Mr. Sidoli...

- Cut the drama. Open the door. - What should I say if it's them?

Tell them I'm not here!

That's what you should always tell anyone who comes looking for me.

Very well, but thank God this is the last time!

Come in.

- Is the doctor home? - The doctor isn't here.

- Am I not within visiting hours? - Then he's here!

But if you want money, I can't help you.

You can try, though. Thank God I'm leaving...

Dad!

Well, hello.

- Am I disturbing? - No, why would you be disturbing?

- Don't you see patients at this time? - Yes, from 9 to 10.

But there's no-one here.

It's a coincidence, usually at this time...

- I see. And the dressing gown? - It's sterilized.

Pietro, I... oh, excuse me.

- A patient. May I... - Yes, you may.

Madam, you may continue with the prescription I gave you.

A spoonful after meals, shake before use. Goodbye.

Here I am, dad.

Have you changed specialty? Don't you treat children anymore?

- Yes, Dad. Children, always children. - Really?

It's a new method: by examining the mums

you can identify the children's disease. - I see...

- Do you know a certain Francesco Sidoli? - Sidoli? No, I've never heard of him.

How odd. It seems he's the head of a consortium of creditors.

He wrote me a letter. Want to read it?

No, I can imagine.

Your creditors believe many hands make light work.

- Yes, that's what they think. - But it's you who has the last laugh

because you aren't paying anybody. - Yes, but...

That's enough now.

I told the head of the consortium that it has nothing to do with me.

- I won't be giving you another penny. - Dad, wait...

I want to show you that I'm really doing something here.

Look, see? This is my office. Surgical equipment, books...

Look at the appointment book, it's the proof.

Hold on, where is it?

Here you go: 10th of January, child, Tonino Biagini. Nettle rash.

He was really suffering, he kept scratching...

There should be another one...

Here. 15th of July, Tonino Biagini. Nettle rash.

- Wasn't he cured? - It was quite persistent.

I see...

Dad, I swear, I'm really trying.

If there are no clients, it's not like it's my fault.

Pietro, let's not waste time, I've already decided.

This is a letter of introduction for Santa Chiara Orphanage.

- You're putting me in an orphanage? - No!

I got you the position of health inspector at Santa Chiara's Orphanage.

The pay is 1,200 liras per month.

You have a house. You'll live magnificently.

- Magnificently? - If that doesn't interest you...

our Professor Moretti in Teramo will take you on as his assistant.

You have a choice.

PIOUS ORPHANAGE SANTA CHIARA

Excuse me.

Come in.

Excuse me.

- Who are you here for? - I have this letter for the headmistress.

- It's a letter of introduction. - Well?

- It means I'm to introduce myself. - Come in.

Come in.

- Take a seat. - Thank you.

You're specialized in children diseases, right?

- Yes, I'm a paediatrician. - Good.

Then I hope you'll have no reason to use your medical skills here.

Luckily, our girls are in excellent health.

So much the better!

Now tell me, does your work

leave you any time you could devote to our institute?

Not much...

but I'll do my very best. Am I supposed to come here every day?

No, that won't be necessary.

Your predecessor came here once every 15 days

whenever his health would permit it. Poor soul.

- Is he dead? - No, he got married.

- Was he young? - 74 years old.

After the marriage he retired from the profession.

I see.

- Are the girls ready? - Yes, Madam.

Doctor, the girls are ready.

If you would like to start your first inspection....

Now?

Since you're here, you can get to know our institute.

- I'd be delighted to. - This way.

- How many girls are staying here? - 80.

This is Miss Moracchi.

- After you. - After you.

Our new health inspector, Dr. Vignali. Miss Ricci and Miss Banfi.

- Delighted to meet you. - Me too.

After you.

Miss Lentini. Our new health inspector.

- It's a pleasure. - It's a pleasure.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- After you. - After you!

Good morning, Mr. Health Inspector!

Good morning.

- Doctor, you can start. - Start what?

- The inspection. - Oh, yes.

- How's your health? - Excellent, Mr. Health Inspector.

I'm glad.

How's your appetite?

Excellent, Mr. Health Inspector, the food's excellent and plentiful.

- I can see that. - Thank God.

Yes, let us thank Him.

- How's it going? - Very well, Mr. Health Inspector.

- This child is a little pale. - She's been ill recently.

- What was wrong with you? - Hay fever.

- And what did my predecessor prescribe? - Castor oil.

- Good. Did it make you feel better? - Yes, Mr. Health Inspector.

- Sneezes? - Lots.

- Itches? - All the time.

We should persist with the therapy then.

- Well then, I... - Doctor...

Tell me, little one, what did you eat today?

- Vegetable soup. - Tasty. And did you like it?

- Very much. - Good.

- And after the soup what did you have? - Cod and boiled potatoes.

- And do you like cod? - Very much.

I was told that today you left it in your plate.

I wanted to eat it, but it wouldn't go down.

- What would you prefer? - Lobster.

- Do you give them lobster often? - Doctor, lobster?

Ah, that's true, not good for the digestion!

Hey, why that terrified face?

I'm not terrified, it's just my natural look.

She has a slight enlargement of the thyroid gland.

- And my predecessor gave her...? - Castor oil.

Excellent.

Is that it?

- Where's Teresa Venerdì? - I don't know, I told them all to come.

She went to the infirmary to give Graziella her medicine.

She was your predecessor's assistant, as an apprentice nurse.

- Would you like to see the infirmary? - That's fine; I can see it another time.

Since you're here...

Yes, since I'm here...

Moracchi, show the Inspector to the infirmary.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

- Goodbye, Mr. Health Inspector! - Goodbye.

Such a distinguished man.

Girls, out to the garden.

This is the pharmacy and that's the infirmary.

Pia, show the health inspector around the infirmary.

- Do you require anything else from me? - No, thank you.

- Are you the apprentice nurse? - No, I've been a nurse for 35 years.

This way, please.

Two...

...three...

...and four!

Teresa, what are you up to? What will the Health Inspector think?

I was trying to make Graziella take her medicine.

A strange way to administer medicine.

- Did you make her take it? - No, she spat it out at me.

Graziella, show the doctor what a good girl you are.

I am good, but I won't take any medicine!

Doctor, you try. You might succeed with your severity.

Hey, what's all this fuss? Shame on you! Take your medicine right away!

- You take it! - Being strict doesn't seem to work.

- Doctor, isn't cod liver oil tasty? - Oh yes, it's delicious.

Liar!

Graziella, mind your manners! Excuse her.

We'll take some too.

- We'll have to copy Dr. Paoloni. - Okay...

Now the doctor will show you how he takes his medicine.

- But what... - Quick, quick!

Did you see that? Now it's your turn.

- Is that what Dr. Paoloni always did? - Yes, always. Well done!

The system needs changing. If we're to do this for castor oil too, we're cooked.

Doctor, could you examine Elisabetta?

- What's wrong with her? - Nettle rash.

That's my specialty.

General rule for nettle rash: avoid raw fruit.

No pears, apples, figs...

We never give her fruit, but she doesn't get any better.

- Are you sick as well? - No, I'm just visiting.

Oh, you're a visitor! Let's take a look at your legs.

- Tomorrow. - Come on now, let's have a look...

- Elisabetta! Where did you get this? - I don't know, it wasn't there before.

Perhaps a smack would be the right cure, this isn't good for you!

- What should we give her? - Let's see, we can give her...